Real Genius (1985)

Gabriel Jarret: Mitch Taylor

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Mitch : What are you doing?

  Chris Knight : Self-realization. I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, "... I drank what?"

• Mitch : You know, um, something strange happened to me this morning...

  Chris Knight : Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?

  Mitch : No...

  Chris Knight : Why am I the only one who has that dream?

• Jordan : Are you going to take me home to meet your parents?

  Mitch : No.

  Jordan : Why? Are you ashamed of me?

  Mitch : No, them.

  Jordan : Oh.

• Mitch : Did you know there's a guy living in our closet?

  Chris Knight : You've seen him too?

  Mitch : Who is he?

  Chris Knight : Hollyfeld.

  Mitch : Why does he keep going into our closet?

  Chris Knight : Why do you keep going into our closet?

  Mitch : To get my clothes - but that's not why he goes in there.

  Chris Knight : Of course not, he's twice your size - your clothes would never fit him.

  Mitch : Yeah...

  Chris Knight : Think before you ask these questions, Mitch. Twenty points higher than me? Thinks a big guy like that can wear his clothes?

• [Kent opens his dorm room door to find his car inside] 

  Chris Knight : Hey Kent... That's your car.

  Mitch : Kent, you know you're not supposed to park that on campus.

  Kent : You've gone too far this time, Knight.

  Chris Knight : [whiny, scared voice]  I had help!

  [points to Mitch] 

  Kent : You, huh? Well you won't get away with this. Doctor Hathaway's gonna hear all about this. You'll rue the day!

  Chris Knight : "Rue the day?" Who talks like that?

• Chris Knight : Okay Mitch, I'm gonna make it up to you. Let's just pause, put that down. Let's just take a step back. No, I was wrong, I'm sorry, take a step forward. Now, take a step back. Step forward. Back. And then we're cha-cha-ing!

  Mitch : Will you stop it? I'm serious!

  Chris Knight : Okay, I'm serious too!

• [Chris is holding a lab beaker with pink liquid in it] 

  Chris Knight : Here Mitch, taste this. Go on, you won't hurt my feelings, just try it. What do you think, too sweet?

  Mitch : What is it?

  Chris Knight : I don't know, I found it in one of the labs.

  [Mitch starts to induce vomiting] 

  Chris Knight : Relax, it's just yogurt.

• Mitch : [as he helps a hallway sledder up from a crash]  Are you okay?

  Jordan : [Removing helmet and talking rapidly]  No, not emotionally, no I'm not. I'm disappointed, not terribly, but still. It should have gone much further much faster. It's okay, though, I know what the problem is. It's obviously the drag coefficient. I'll just have to redesign the blades. I can do that no problem. I can do that here. But after they're designed I got to cut them and that takes tools and time. Do you know how long this stuff is supposed to last?

  'Ick' Ikagami : Maybe another half an hour?

  Jordan : Oh that's great, that's good, I can do that no problem. Okay, what's your name?

  Mitch : Mitch.

  Jordan : Oh, thank you for your help, Mitch. Okay I'll see you later.

  Mitch : [as she's leaving]  You're welcome!

  Mitch : [to Ick as Jordan rushes back]  Who was that?

  'Ick' Ikagami : That? Oh, that was...

  Jordan : I'm Jordan. I forgot to tell you my name, I'm Jordan. I heard there was going to be someone new this term. Are you it?

  Mitch : Yeah.

  Jordan : Do you have a bed?

  Mitch : Yeah.

  [a surprised look hits Mitch's face as his mind registers the question] 

  Jordan : [not missing a beat]  Oh. I was going to make you one if you didn't have one, but you have one. Okay, bye.

• Mitch : But if I stay, what should I do?

  Chris Knight : You get even with Kent. It's a moral imperative.

• Dr. Meredith : A bit of advice...

  Mitch : Oh, uh, thank you...

  Dr. Meredith : Always... no, no... never... forget to check your references.

  Mitch : Uh... ok... thank you. I'd better be going.

  [leaves] 

  Dr. Meredith : [to his wife]  I think the young people enjoy it when I "get down" verbally, don't you?

• Chris Knight : You didn't touch anything, did you?

  Mitch : No.

  Chris Knight : Good. Because all of my filth is arranged in alphabetical order. This, for instance, is under 'H' for "toy."

  Mitch : What is that?

  Chris Knight : It's a penis stretcher. Do you want to try it?

  Mitch : No!

  Chris Knight : I'm kidding. It's yet another in a long series of diversions in an attempt to avoid responsibility.

• [Mitch Taylor speaking through the microphone so that Kent hears voices in his head] 

  Mitch : And from now on, stop playing with yourself.

  Kent : It *is* God.

• [last lines] 

  'Ick' Ikagami : Do you think it's getting weird around here?

  Chris Knight : Absolutely.

  Jordan : I didn't notice.

  Mitch : I like it.

• Chris Knight : [while Mitch is packing to leave]  If you want to leave, go ahead. But, uh... you're going to miss the fun.

  Mitch : What fun?

  Chris Knight : Ick invented a new virus and we're going to release it in Kent's room.

• Chris Knight : Kent puts his name on his license plate.

  Mitch : My mom does the same thing to my underwear.

  Chris Knight : Your mom puts license plates in your underwear? How do you sit?

• [to Chris] 

  Mitch : You have to get even with Jerry Hathaway. "It's a moral imperative."

• Mitch : He lied to us.

  Chris Knight : It's easy to lie to you, Mitch. You trust people. I'm a cynic.

• [In the men's room] 

  Jordan : Are you peeing?

  Mitch : Uh, I can't start.

  Jordan : Because I'm here?

  Mitch : I think so.

  Jordan : Weird. Well I have to go.

  Mitch : Me too.

• 'Ick' Ikagami : It worked!

  Mitch : That's neat!

  'Ick' Ikagami : Now if we can just keep it from exploding!

  Kent : Explo-?

  [rushes into his room] 

  Chris Knight : Hey Ick, you were just kidding about exploding, right?

  [starts to notice no one else is there any longer] 

  Chris Knight : Ick? It's a joke, right?

• Professor Hathaway : Mitch, will you miss your friends?

  Mitch : Well, no. I think I intimidate other kids.

  Professor Hathaway : Good boy.

• Mitch : This is coherent light.

  Mitch's dad : Oh, so it talks.

• Air Force SP at Gate : IDs?

  Chris Knight : Hey, could you snap it up buddy, we just flew in, we're tired, we're hungry, we rented this stupid car...

  Mitch : Are you out of your mind?

  Chris Knight : Shh. We've got to intimidate these guys. Be cool. It's okay.

  Air Force SP at Gate : You're not on the list.

  Chris Knight : List. We're not on the list. Yeah, that's because we're classified.

  Mitch : Yeah.

  Air Force SP at Gate : [on checkpoint phone in background]  Security. Yes, sir.

  Air Force SP at Gate : Aren't you guys a little young to be technicians?

  Chris Knight : Yeah, well, lasers are a young science... okay, there, fine, you made me say it. Now we're both in trouble!

  Air Force SP at Gate : Look, I'll call the duty officer.

  [guard turns] 

  Mitch : Uh.

  Chris Knight : [calling guard back]  Hey, uh, there, uh, airborne!

  Chris Knight : Don't do that. Listen, if you make that call it's our job: we're four hours late. Give us a break, will ya' buddy? Someday you might be in the private sector too, right?

  Mitch : Yeah.

  Chris Knight : [as guard turns again]  We're dead.

  Mitch : Oh, no.

  Chris Knight : [as guard surprisingly waves them through]  All right!

• Mitch : [holding his fake ID badge]  What if these don't fool anybody?

  Chris Knight : They shoot us.