Equalizer 2000 (1987) User Reviews

Ratta Tatta! Boom! .yawn

[HaemovoreRex · 4/10 · 22 September 2007]

Here's an entirely undistinguished post apocalyptic yarn from the normally reliable Cirio H Santiago.

Dashing martial arts star Richard Norton has very little to do here other than run around with a souped up gun, alternatively shooting and blowing things up. Yes, if you like gun fire and explosions then this may well be blissful viewing but for those requisite of a bit more substance to their viewing this will prove a decidedly tedious watch.

Not wishing to stray from the main point of my review, but one thing that never ceases to irritate me about some of the reviews on IMDb is the swift tendency by many reviewers to label every single low budget flick as 'The greatest B-movie ever!'. OK, so I admit that tastes vary and it's very much a subjective issue but really – before awarding any such lofty accolade, do so with at least some perspective and knowledge of the genre to which the relevant film belongs. The film in question for instance is anything but a classic in any way, shape or form.

In fact the only reason I can think to watch this other than for Norton completists is to a) see the always superb Robert Patrick in an early role and b) to see the very beautiful (and buxom!) Corinne Wahl as the films heroine.

For a far more enjoyable Mad Max/Road Warrior inspired outing try instead some of the Italian entries in the genre which are infinitely more memorable and indeed so much more fun than this.

Phillipino "Mad Max" ripoff is better than most (which is admittedly a pretty low bar)

[a_chinn · 5/10 · 25 November 2019]

Prolific low-budget director Cirio H. Santiago made a career of directing low-budget genre pictures in the Philippines for US distributors and here brings to us his version of "The Road Warrior." Musclebound stuntman/actor/martial artist Richard Norton ("Twinkle Twinkle Lucky Stars" "Gymkata") plays Slade, our hero who uses his giant machine gun, the Equalizer 2000, to defeat a nasty gang of wasteland bikers. Compared to most of the Italian Mad Max ripoffs, this one actually bothered to film a few car chase action sequences that aren't too bad, but most of the movie is a bunch of dudes in ratty clothes fighting, arguing, and shooting each other up in what looks like an abandoned quarry. One interesting casting note, this is the first film appearance of Robert Patrick, four years before his star making role as the T-1000 in "Terminator 2: Judgement Day." Overall, "Equalizer 2000" is nothing to go out of your way to watch, but if you're desperate for a warriors of the wasteland action flick and have seen all of the good non-Mad Max ones (i.e. "Cherry 2000" "A Boy and His Dog" "Doomsday" "Six String Samurai" and the list pretty much stops there), Cirio H. Santiago's "Equalizer 2000" or "Wheels of Fire" may scratch your itch.

Grade-Z post-apocalyptic flick

[gridoon · 3/10 · 14 March 2007]

If there is one thing I appreciate about director Cirio H. Santiago, it's that he seems to like strong female characters and includes them in many of his films. In "Equalizer 2000" we have the sexy Corinne Wahl, who handles her guns with proficiency and adds the only spice to the film. The lead is Richard Norton, whose (considerable, if you watch any of his HK work) talents are largely wasted in a few poorly filmed fights, and who is a total blank as a character (more the script's fault than his own). The action scenes are uninteresting and unexciting - chaotic battles between armies of anonymous people whom we don't know or care about. There is just very little worth seeing in this film, and almost all of it comes from Wahl. Even with her, however, your best option is to skip it. (*)

Bad but cool

[mrviolence · 2/10 · 17 April 2000]

This movie really sucks, but still it´s fun to watch. For 90 minutes it´s just gunfights and explosions. No talking, just shooting. It´s amazing to see fully grown men act like this, and being serious about it! If you have nothing to do on a late Sunday night, then give this one a try!

Guns! Guns! Guns!

[Coventry · 1/10 · 23 August 2009]

Damn! This movie totally ruined my very own self-invented little theory stating that all cult/exploitation movies with the number "2000" are incredibly cool. You know, for example, obscure post-apocalyptic cult flicks like "Holocaust 2000", "Escape 2000" and "Death Race 2000" were tremendous fun to watch, so I was fairly confident that this one would be cool too, especially since the title refers to a type of heavy machine gun. Wrong again, of course, as "Equalizer 2000" is a gigantic yawner of a B-movie without any sort of suspense, coherence or ingenuity. This movie actually just is a non-stop 90 minutes lasting series of deafening shootouts, explosions and car chases. Now, this may very well sound like the ideal description for a cheap 80's B-movie, but trust me, the complete lack of a plot gets boring very fast. You know you're in trouble when watching a film of which the acting sequences are so dull that you start spotting the errors in geography instead. "Equalizer 2000" is supposedly set after the nuclear winter; in a time were the snowy grounds of Alaska turned into unbearably hot deserts. The intro states there isn't any type of vegetation on our planet any more, yet a couple of sequences later the characters are playing cat- and-mouse right next to a crystal clear lake surrounded with beautifully green plants. The story is really, really basic. The post-nuclear world is divided in small independent communities that are all rebelling against (and attempting to steal oil from) the powerful "Ownership". After they killed his father, former mercenary of the Ownership Slade flees into the desert and joins one of the rebel communities. There, he works on the Equalizer 2000, the most powerful gun in the world and the only weapon that can put a stop to all the rivalry and gang wars. "Equalizer 2000" literally just jumps from one overlong shootout scene towards the other, but we don't have a clue about who is fighting against who or why exactly. The battle sequences are also very unexciting and dire, without cruel violence or harsh bloodshed. They're just chaotic scenes in which a bunch of losers – that don't even bother to seek any cover – aim at each other and occasionally one falls down. Lead actor Richard Norton, a poor man's Chuck Norris, luckily doesn't speak too much because he's one of the most wooden actors I've ever seen. His love interest is Corinne Wahl, a stunningly ravishing girl with a fabulous rack and a tight leather pants, but the idiot only has eyes for the stupid titular gun! There's an early role for Robert Patrick as a sleazy independent gun smuggler. Boring, pitiable and infuriating waste of time; avoid like hell!

Corrine Wahl's worst movie?

[stifler · 20 January 2001]

If you're a Corinne Wahl fan, you'll have to see this movie at least once just so that you can witness the famous scene where she puts on her most serious and angry face, points a pistol at five dusty desperados dressed in Civil war uniforms and says "I'd love to blow you guys right here." Corinne tries so hard to be non-sexual, it's hysterical. The response by the desperados is equally amusing: The #1 bad guy acts frightened, scrambles to his feet and shouts "Keep your pants on, little missy!"

There is little to redeem this movie. I've seen better high school productions. The costuming was created using black spray paint and sporting equipment (football shoulder pads, helmets, hockey sticks, ski masks, etc). The whole movie was filmed in a dusty quarry somewhere east of LA. None of the actors in this movie are famous ... because they can't act.

See this movie if you want to see Corinne Wahl shooting guns, driving wildly in a rusty Mustang and running around in dusty black leather and leotards. Disappointingly, there is no skin in this movie and the only love scene consists of 30 seconds of kissing.

What a weapon!

[BandSAboutMovies · 4/10 · 23 September 2019]

There are some days when I wake up and don't want to do anything but watch the films of Cirio Santiago. Seeing as how he produced 64 films and directed 105, so either I need to not do anything like work for awhile or just be content in the fact that I will always have a new film from him to enjoy.

Cirio made a ton of post-apocalyptic films. This is but one of them, all about a gun that can change the balance of power. It's called - you guessed it - the Equalizer 2000. It's no Blastfighter, but what is?

Three groups of people - Ownership, the Rebels, and the Mountain People - are battling for the control of the future after the bomb. Slade (Richard Norton, who played himself in Abba: The Movie, which I now must hunt for, and the Prime Imperator in Mad Max: Fury Road) was once one of the Ownership, but when his dad is killed, he goes off on his own. That leads to him making the titular gun along with Karen (Corinne Alphen - yes, she was once Corinne Wahl - the June 1978 and August 1981 Penthouse Pet of the Month and 1982 Pet of the Year; she's now a professional Tarot card reader). That brings them into conflict with Deke (Robert Patrick!).

According to the absolutely astounding Internet Movie Firearms Database, the Equalizer is "based on a Colt Model 653 carbine (most likely Colt/Elisco Tools Model 653P, Philippine license-manufactured version), fitted with an M203 grenade launcher, a pair of overhead shotgun barrels and a pair of bottom mounted missile launchers. The launchers doesn't produce muzzle flash when firing, and the hissing sound is akin to a compressed air blast."

At the end of the movie, the Equalizer is destroyed and hot, wet manly tears burned down my face. But I wasn't crying. I just had some radioactive sand in my eyes.

It's garbage, but at least it's FUN garbage.

[Hey_Sweden · 5/10 · 17 February 2017]

B movie perennial Richard Norton ("Force: Five") stars as a hero named Slade in this little epic, just one of many grungy post-apocalypse features to pattern itself after "Mad Max" and "The Road Warrior". Slade is out to get revenge on a military unit dubbed "The Ownership", who are just greedy enough to want control of all resources. They meet resistance from Slade and other rebels, "mountain people", and a sexy as Hell warrior woman named Karen (Penthouse hottie Corinne Wahl). But Slade has an ace up his sleeve: the sleek and massive weapon of the title, which ensures its owners' survival.

Fans of derivative future set schlock won't mind that the story (written by co-star Frederick Bailey, who plays Hayward) is practically non existent. It's all about non-stop (and I do mean non-stop) gunfire, explosions, and setting people on fire. (This is the kind of movie where nobody ever seems to run out of ammo.) While it's hard to give much of a damn about any character here, the actors do what they can with limited material. Norton is fortunately one very badass hero; he can shoot at the bad guys while perched on the hood of a car, and not lose his balance. Wahl isn't much of an actress, but it's doubtful that many people will care when she looks so fine. William Steis (as Lawton) and Peter Shilton (as MacLaine) are adequate villains. Any fan of Filipino exploitation cinema will be happy to see Vic Diaz here, as he portrays one of those "mountain people". But the most fun is in seeing future star Robert Patrick, in his second feature film appearance, as a mangy weasel named Deke.

Passable direction by Cirio H. Santiago and amusing electronic music by Ding Achacoso help to make this an okay diversion.

Five out of 10.

Unexceptional post-apocalypse movie

[Wizard-8 · 4/10 · 21 May 2018]

You might not think at first that a jungle country like the Philippines would get involved with making post-apocalypse movies, but it actually did happen a number of times in the 1980s. Many of them were made by the prolific B-movie filmmaker Cirio H. Santiago, and while "Equalizer 2000" is not one of his worst, it is perhaps one of his most forgettable. Despite hiring martial arts movie star Richard Norton, Santiago pretty much wastes him. Norton hardly gets to do anything resembling true martial arts, and for the most part he comes across as bland and unemotional. The bland feeling extends to the gun battles and car chases as well. Though there seems to be an excuse for action every few minutes, there is no zip or excitement to be found; it just seems to be going through the motions instead. As I indicated earlier, there's nothing to make this post-apocalypse movie stand out from the pack from the countless others that were made in the 1980s all over the world. If you want to see a GOOD post-apocalypse actioner made by Santiago, track down a copy of "Wheels of Fire" instead.

"I'm going to let you watch the sun go down"

[hwg1957-102-265704 · 6/10 · 28 March 2021]

Set in a post apocalyptic world this film has battles, car chases, explosions, men set on fire, hunky Richard Norton with a big firing gun, lively Corinne Wahl with a big chest, sneaky Robert Patrick with a scruffy beard, the legendary Vic Diaz, tribesmen taking spears to a gun fight, vehicles gone punk with spikes, desolate landscapes and villains with big moustaches and oodles of action. What's not to like?

Worth-a-watch action movie..!

[smiley-32 · 5/10 · 18 December 2004]

Equalizer 2000.. Yep! One those B-movies that crop up at your local video store.. This one, I find was enjoyable.. It tells about Slade (Norton) who's one of the Commanding Officers of the so-called 'Ownership'. The army that controls most of the planet's oil supply.. They come under attack from two armies..

In an all out war, Slade's father gets killed in action.. Slade get captured, and seeks revenge on Colonel Lawton. Destined to bring him down, he finds a gun which is called the 'Equalizer 2000'. The most powerful weapon ever made..

Slade uses it to take down the Ownership and gets his chance to settle the score with Lawton..

I find it was a good film.. Not one of the best but I can say, you could see this on a rainy day..

5 out of 10..!

A classic B movie

[Mr. Tobar · 10/10 · 10 October 2000]

This is THE top of the line, in B movies. If you've ever liked a "bad" movie, this one has it all. The terrible dialog is stunning. My favorite line, not to give anything away, is "Spin it, spin it!" The movie makes little sense, the tactics are non-existent in the battle scenes, the gun is just pipes glued together... it's marvelous. There are characters that are dressed in what look like Confederate soldier uniforms, and there are also characters that are wearing ski masks. Now, incidentally, there are some stunt scenes where people get set on fire... I wonder if there might be a connection between the wardrobe department and the stunt department... no, couldn't be! Seriously, if you get a kick out of B, C, D or maybe just F movies, (I'm talking bottom of the line, here) this one is the top of the line.

Amazingly Entertaining, Amazingly Bad

[weiner7 · 1/10 · 14 November 2006]

This movie was from an acting, production and plot standpoint awful. The movie is set in a post apocalyptic earth where oil is a natural resource is fought over by tribes of humans. The main character Slade dislikes the "evil empire" the Ownership, who controls most of the ownership. Through a random plot twist Slade joins Corrine Wahl's tribe and manages to build a 6 barreled super gun that shoots lasers and grenades and weird disks and all sorts of cool stuff. Of course the Ownership wants this gun, and tries to steal it. I'll let you figure the end out.

I think that this might have one of the lowest production values of any movie I have ever seen. The entire movie is shot in primarily two locations in one canyon. As far as props they asked every actor to bring their own props. About 3 people have matching outfits, while the rest are just hodgepodges of random stuff spray painted silver to try to be more consistent. The buildings are poorly made shacks from random building materials actors had. As for the weapons everyone asked their 5 year old for his toy gun, and brought it to work. If they didn't have kids they just used PCP pipe.

However the complete junkiness of everything, above average fight scenes and terrible acting makes this movie enjoyable. Although the plot was extremely simplistic it kept me gripped, and I actually wanted to finish the movie, which is more than i can say about a lot of movies with quality similar to this one.

Another Low-Budget Wannabe Road Warrior

[Michael_Elliott · 3 December 2017]

Equalizer 2000 (1987)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Here's another low-budget post-Apocalyptic film that deals with a gang of bad guys who want to control everything that remains in the dirty world. The only problem is that they run up against Slade (Richard Norton) who creates a new gun that makes him a major threat to all.

EQUALIZER 2000 was one of many rip-offs of MAD MAX and THE ROAD WARRIOR that would be made and thrown on video store shelves back in the 1980s. If you were lucky enough to grow up during this era then you know that if a movie was popular in theaters then low-budget producers would try and make a killing with the rip-offs. Director Cirio H. Santiago made several of these in the Philippines so I guess the best thing to say is that this is better than THE SISTERHOOD.

If you're looking for nothing but action then you'll get plenty of that here. There are fast cars speeding around everywhere. You've got non-stop gun fights, explosions and various other action scenes that were all done with very little money and it shows. You've got a lot of eye candy going on here but there's no question that the story itself is very boring and it all grows rather tiresome very quickly.

If you're a fan of these type of low-budget, direct-to-video films then I'm sure you'll get a kick out of this one. As it stands, it was just too boring and way too bland for its own good.

It's fine, I guess. It just doesn't really inspire much enthusiasm.

[I_Ailurophile · 5/10 · 5 November 2023]

Sometimes you just need a questionable 80s action flick. Hey, if nothing else, I'm a fan of Richard Norton, and it's noteworthy that this is an early role of Robert Patrick. The filming locations are gorgeous, Ding Achacoso's music (that I, for one, love) recalls themes that Nobuo Uematsu wrote for the 'Final fantasy' series of videogames at varying points (perhaps with additional influences on top, like Henry Mancini and high school marching bands), the vehicles are modified from the last 'Mad Max' production, and the costume design is comprised of the standard issue black fascist uniforms, military fatigues, and post-apocalyptic civilian rags. Action sequences are built on the principals of running, chasing, and shooting, but somehow feel sterile and bereft, possibly because the music is ill-fitting. This rather looks and feels so much like something the Band family might have produced in the same timeframe, like 'The Eliminators' or 'Metalstorm: The destruction of Jared-Syn,' and it's surprising that Charles or Albert weren't actually involved. Dropping those names may well be the best indicator of the company 'Equalizer 2000' keeps, but for what it's worth, in terms of fare of this nature, it's pretty much on par thirty years on.

I'll say this much, the movie knows what it is - and what it is, friend, is ninety minutes of action (okay, eighty-eight) with light, thin plot (rebels versus fascists, with scattered third party elements on the side) breaking up that action at irregular intervals. Even though such scenes are robbed of some of their vitality they still look good in and of themselves, with stunts and effects galore; then again, even the use of some of these seem a smidgen senseless and willy-nilly at times. I could have actually done with more plot, as that may have provided a shot in the arm that the action doesn't, but here we are. I actually think this is fairly well made, all told, and the issue is just that the result is weirdly middling. Is it the acting? Is it the direction? Is it the flimsiness and ordinariness of the story? Is it the fact that the MacGuffin, the titular object, is a single handheld weapon? Norton doesn't even get to really exercise his martial arts skills; a love scene feels extra contrived as it's shot. I don't know if the feature needed more energy, more extras, more story, better acting, stronger direction, or what, but it uniformly feels like something we can "watch" without ever actively engaging - and more than I might say of other titles of which I've said the same.

You could do worse; you could also do a lot better. The most important question might be "why bother at all?" If one has a specific impetus to watch, like being a fan of someone involved, that might be motivation enough. Without such impetus, though, there's not really any need to check it out. If anything, set 'Equalizer 2000' aside for a quiet, lazy day, something you can put on in the background, and that may be the best way to appreciate it. It's decent, I guess, but just not something that particularly inspires enthusiasm. Take that as you will.

Cirio H. Santiago scores with another enjoyably schlocky sci-fi/action opus

[Woodyanders · 8/10 · 1 February 2017]

Warring factions fight over possession of the Equalizer 2000, which is a super duper lethal machine gun that can better guarantee the survival of anyone who owns it in a harsh post-apocalyptic world.

Filipino exploitation cinema titan Cirio H. Santiago once again makes nice use of arid and godforsaken desert landscapes, stages the rousing action with rip-roaring all-out gusto, keeps the entertaining story hurtling along at a snappy pace, and blows loads of stuff up real good (naturally!). The solid acting from the game cast keeps this movie humming: The extremely buff Richard Norton cuts an imposing figure as two-fisted bruiser Slade, the buxom and gorgeous Corinne Wahl adds plenty of spunk as the feisty Karen (Wahl also totally rocks a pair of skintight leather pants), Robert Patrick contributes a nicely slimy turn as no-count scumbag Deke, William Steis registers well as ruthless lead baddie Lawton, and the ubiquitous Vic Diaz has a neat small role as weary old man Bone. Ding Achacoso's funky syncopated score does the right-on groovy trick. A fun B-flick.