Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)

Jennifer Grey: Jeanie Bueller

Photos 

Quotes 

• Boy in Police Station : Drugs?

  Jeannie : Thank you, no. I'm straight.

  Boy in Police Station : I meant, are you in here for drugs?

  Jeannie : Why are you here?

  Boy in Police Station : Drugs.

• [after hearing Jeannie describe her problems...] 

  Boy in Police Station : There's someone you should talk to.

  Jeannie : If you say Ferris Bueller, you lose a testicle.

  Boy in Police Station : Oh, you know him?

• [calling the police] 

  Jeannie : Look, this is not a phony phone call. There is an intruder - male, Caucasian, possibly armed, certainly weird - in my kitchen. Yeah. My-my - my name is Bueller...

  [pause] 

  Jeannie : Look, it's real nice that you hope my brother is feeling better, but I'm in danger, okay? I am very cute, I am very alone, and I am very protective of my body. I do not want it violated or killed, all right? I need - help! Speaka de English? Dick-head!

• Shermerite : [a student is walking around with a can collecting money]  Save Ferris? Save Ferris?

  [Solicits Jeannie] 

  Shermerite : Save Ferris?

  Jeannie : Excuse me?

  Shermerite : Well, a group of us are collecting money to buy Ferris Bueller a new kidney. They run about 50 g's, so if you wouldn't mind helping out...

  Jeannie : Go piss up a flagpole.

  Shermerite : I'm sorry?

  Jeannie : You should be.

  [Knocks the can out of his hand] 

  Shermerite : You heartless wench!

• [Jeannie enters Mr. Rooney's office] 

  Grace : Hello, Jeannie. Who's bothering you now?

  Jeannie : Is Mr. Rooney in?

  Grace : No, I'm sorry. He's not. May I help you?

  Jeannie : I seriously doubt it. When's he back?

  Grace : Well, I don't know. He's left the school grounds on personal business.

  Jeannie : What's that supposed to mean?

  Grace : Well, I believe that it's personal and it's none of your business, young lady.

  Jeannie : [scoffs]  Nice attitude.

  Grace : Isn't Mrs. Hagel expecting you in Consumer Ed. class?

  Jeannie : Probably.

  [Departs] 

  Grace : Mmm-mmm-mmm. What a little asshole.

• Jeannie : In a nutshell: I hate my brother. How's that?

  Boy in Police Station : That's cool. Did you blow him away or somethin'?

• [Calling her mother's office] 

  Jeannie : Well, where is she? This is her daughter.

  [pause] 

  Jeannie : Do know where she is?

  [pause] 

  Jeannie : Well, do you know when she'll be back?

  [pause] 

  Jeannie : Do you know anything?

  [slams down receiver] 

• Jeannie : [thinking to herself]  Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe Ferris isn't such a bad guy. After all, I got a car, he got a computer. But still, why should he get to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants? Why should everything work out for him? What makes him so goddamn special?

  [spoken] 

  Jeannie : Screw him.

• Jeannie : [over the house intercom, as Principal Rooney is standing at the kitchen sink]  Excuse me: if whoever was in this house is still in the house, I'd like you to know that I've just called the police. I'd also like to add that I've got my father's gun and a *scorching* case of herpes.

• Boy in Police Station : What's your name?

  Jeannie : It's Jean, but most guys call me Shauna.

  Boy in Police Station : Okay, Jean.

• Jeannie : Why don't you put your thumb up your butt.

  Boy in Police Station : You're wearing too much eye makeup. My sister wears too much. People think she's a whore.

• Jeannie : I can't drive when you're yelling at me! STOP IT!

• Boy in Police Station : What do you care if your brother ditches school?

  Jeannie : Why should he get to ditch when everybody else has to go.

  Boy in Police Station : You could ditch.

  Jeannie : Yeah, I'd get caught.

  Boy in Police Station : I see. So, you're pissed off because he ditches and doesn't get caught, is that it?

  Jeannie : Basically.

• Boy in Police Station : Your problem is you.

  Jeannie : Excuse me?

  Boy in Police Station : Excuse you. You ought to spend a little more time dealing with yourself, a little less time worrying about what your brother does.

• Jeannie : That's it. I want out of this family.

• Girl : I'm really sorry about your brother.

  Jeannie : What're you sorry for? I have to live with the trouser snake.

  Girl : No, I mean I heard he's really sick.

  Jeannie : Whoa, whoa. Who said he's sick?

  Girl : A whole bunch of people. They said he's like on the verge of death. And this guy in my biology class said that if Ferris dies he's giving his eyes to Stevie Wonder. Oh, he's such a sweetie.

• Jeannie : You're letting him stay home? I can't believe this. If I was bleeding out of my eyes you guys would make me go to school. This is so unfair.