Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)
Alan Ruck: Cameron Frye
Photos
Quotes
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Ed Rooney : Ed Rooney.
Cameron : [disguising voice as George Peterson] Ed. This is George Peterson.
Ed Rooney : How are you today, sir?
Cameron : [voice disguised] Well, we've had a bit of bad luck this morning as you may have heard.
Ed Rooney : Yeah I heard, and man, I'm all broken up, boy, what a blow.
Cameron : [disguised] Yeah. Yeah. Well, uh, it's been a tough morning and we got a lot of family business to take care of, so if you wouldn't mind excusing Sloane, I'd appreciate it.
Ed Rooney : Uh, yeah, sure, no I'd be happy to, yeah you, uh, you you just produce a corpse, and uh, I'll release Sloane. I wanna see this dead grandmother first hand.
Grace : Ed?
Ed Rooney : It's alright, Grace, it's Ferris Bueller the little twerp. I'm gonna set a trap and let him fall right in it.
Grace : Ooh!
Cameron : [disguised] I'm sorry, Ed, did you say you wanted to see a body?
Ed Rooney : Yeah, that's right, just, uh, roll her old bones on over here, and I'll dig up your daughter. You know that's school policy.
Cameron : [disguised] Oh.
Ed Rooney : Was this your mother?
Cameron : [disguised] Uh, no my wife's mother.
Grace : [picks up ringing phone] Ed Rooney's office.
Ferris : Hi this is Ferris Bueller, can I speak to Mr. Rooney please? Thank you.
Grace : [caught off-guard] Uh... hold.
Ed Rooney : Tell ya what, dipshit. If you don't like my policies you can come on down here and smooch my big ole' white butt.
Grace : ED!
Ed Rooney : Pucker up butter-cup.
[to Grace]
Ed Rooney : What?
Grace : Ferris Bueller's on line 2.
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Cameron : [in disguised voice] Pardon my French, but you're an asshole! Asshole!
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Cameron : Ferris Bueller, you're my hero.
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Ferris : Where's your brain?
Cameron : Why'd you kick me?
Ferris : Where's your brain?
Cameron : Why'd you kick me?
Ferris : Where's your brain?
Cameron : I asked you first.
Ferris : How can we pick up Sloane if Rooney is there with her?
Cameron : I said for her to be there alone and you freaked.
Ferris : Now, I didn't hit you. I lightly slapped you.
Cameron : You hit me. Look don't make me participate in your stupid crap if you don't like the way I do it. You make me get out of bed, you make me come over here. You make me make a phony phone call to Edward Rooney? The man could squash my nuts into oblivion. And-and-and then, and then, you deliberately hurt my feelings.
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[Cameron doesn't want to go out, but Ferris keeps calling]
Cameron : He'll keep calling me, he'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is uh... This is ridiculous, ok I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go. What - I'LL GO. Shit.
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Cameron : I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life. I'm going to take a stand. I'm going to defend it. Right or wrong, I'm going to defend it.
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Cameron : [singing] When Cameron was in Egypt's land... let my Cameron go!"
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Garage Attendant : You fellas have nothing to worry about. I'm a professional.
Cameron : A professional what?
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Cameron : Hey batta batta batta hey batta batta batta SWING batta!
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Ferris : I'm so disappointed in Cameron! Twenty bucks says he's in his car right now debating on whether or not to go out.
Cameron : [Cameron's in his car] He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is uh... This is ridiculous, ok I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go. What - I'LL GO. Shit.
[Turns the engine on then turns it off and hits the passenger seat]
Cameron : God Damn it!
[Turns the car on and revs it up]
Cameron : Ahhhhhh! Shit!
[Gets out of the car]
Cameron : That's it!
[Paces behind the car and jumps up and down in frustration]
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[Ferris has snuck aboard a parade float]
Ferris : Ladies and gentlemen, you are such a wonderful crowd, we'd like to play a little tune for you. It's one of my personal favorites and I'd like to dedicate it to a young man who doesn't think he's seen anything good today - Cameron Frye, this one's for you.
Cameron : [screams]
Sloane : Ferris! Get off of the float!
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Ed Rooney : Ahem... Mr. Peterson?
Cameron : [clears throat] Uhum!
Ed Rooney : Uhhm... you know, I-I think I owe you an apology, sir.
Cameron : [disguised voice] Well I should say you do!
Ed Rooney : I, uh... I-I-I...
Cameron : [still disguised] Well, I think you should be sorry, for Christ's sake! A family member dies, and you insult me, what the hell's the matter with you, anyway?
Ed Rooney : Uh-uh-uh, well I, you...
[breathes heavily]
Ed Rooney : ... I-I really don't know, sir, I mean, I didn't think I was talking to you, I thought I was talking to somebody else, you know sir, I would never deliberately insult you like that, I-I can't begin to tell you how embarrassed I am!
Cameron : Pardon my French... but you're an asshole!
Ed Rooney : [waves at Grace]
Cameron : Asshole!
Ed Rooney : Uhh, you're absolutely right, sir, you've hit the nail right on the head!
Cameron : This isn't over yet Buster, do you read me?
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Ferris : I'm serious man, this is ridiculous making me wait around the house for you.
Cameron : Why can't you let me rot in peace?
Ferris : Cameron, this is my ninth sick day. If I get caught, I don't graduate. I'm not doing it for me, I'm doing it for you.
Cameron : Do you know what my diastolic is?
Ferris : Be a man, take some Pepto-Bismol, get dressed and come on over here, I'm tired of this stuff.
Cameron : Oh, shut up!
Ferris : [has a call on the other line] Hold your water for a second, I got another call.
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Cameron : I don't know what I'm gonna do.
Sloane : College.
Cameron : Yeah, but to do what?
Sloane : What are you interested in?
Cameron : Nothing.
Sloane : Me neither!
Cameron : [to Ferris, who's singing on the parade float] YOU'RE CRAZY!
Sloane : What do you think Ferris is gonna do?
Cameron : He's gonna be a fry cook at Venus!
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Cameron : Ferris, my father loves this car more than life itself.
Ferris : A man with priorities so far out of whack doesn't deserve such a fine automobile.
[Ferris caresses the car in admiration]
Cameron : No. No! Apparently, you don't understand!
Ferris : [ignoring Cameron] Wow.
Cameron : Ferris, he never drives it! He just rubs it with a diaper!
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Cameron : [Ferris slowly pulls the Ferrari out of the garage] No! Ferris, forget it! You're just gonna have to think of somethin' else. I'm puttin' my foot down.
[Ferris keeps driving]
Cameron : How bout we rent a nice Cadillac? My treat! We could call a limo! A nice stretch job with a TV and a bar! How 'bout that?
Ferris : [Ferris pulls the car back slightly] Come on! Live a little!
[Cameron crosses himself, walks to the car]
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Sloane : What are we going to do?
Ferris : The question isn't "what are we going to do," the question is "what aren't we going to do?"
Cameron : Please don't say were not going to take the car home. Please don't say were not going to take the car home. Please don't say were not going to take the car home.
Ferris : [to the camera] If you had access to a car like this, would you take it back right away?
[beat]
Ferris : Neither would I.
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Cameron : [while kicking his father's car] Who do you love? Who do you love? You love a car!
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[Ferris, Sloane and Cameron are in a taxicab. Ferris and Sloane are kissing]
Cameron : It's getting late, buddy. We better go get the car back home.
Ferris : We have a few hours. We have until 6:00.
Cameron : I'm sorry. I know you don't care, but it does mean my ass.
Ferris : You think I don't care?
Cameron : I KNOW you don't care.
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Cameron : [fake answering machine message] You have reached the Coughlin Brothers Mortuary. We're deeply sorry we are not able to come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name and number, we will get back to you as soon as humanly possible.
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Cameron : That whole time I was just thinking things over. I was like - I was like meditating. Then I sort of watched myself from inside. I realized it was ridiculous - being afraid. Worrying about everything. Wishing I was dead. It was the best day of my life.
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Cameron : [Sitting in his car debating about going to Ferris'] He'll keep calling me, he'll keep calling me till I come over, he'll make me feel guilty, this uh, this is ridiculous okay I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go with, I'll go. Shit.
[starts car, stalls and punches car seat four times]
Cameron : God Dammit!
[Car stalls again and screams]
Cameron : Forget it, that's it.
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Ferris : You want to get married?
Sloane : Sure.
Ferris : Today? I'm serious.
Sloane : I'm not getting married.
Ferris : Why not?
Sloane : What do you mean "why not"? Think about it.
Ferris : Well, no. Besides being too young, having no place to live, you feeling a little awkward about being the only cheerleader with a husband, give me one good reason why not?
Cameron : I'll give you two good reason why not: my mother and my father. They're married and they hate each other. You've seen 'em. Am I right?
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Cameron : As long as I've known him, everything works for him. There's nothing he can't handle. I can't handle anything. School, parents, the future. Ferris can do anything.
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Cameron : I could have stopped you. It is possible to stop Mr. Ferris Bueller, you know.
