Shanghai Surprise (1986)

Madonna: Gloria Tatlock

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ho Chong : And you, Reverend Lady, would care for protection for treasured parts?

  Gloria Tatlock : No, thank you.

  Ho Chong : Your lips and ears, perhaps?

  Gloria Tatlock : Thank you, I said no.

  Ho Chong : Your twin pagodas, maybe?

  Gloria Tatlock : Definitely not!

  Ho Chong : Surely, you want to protect your haven of celestial bliss?

  Gloria Tatlock : How dare you!

  Glendon Wasey : I don't think the haven's in much danger.

• China Doll : You say you wish to help my country. Why should my jewels be used to buy the opium drug, instead of guns?

  Gloria Tatlock : Guns cause pain. Opium eases pain.

• "Mr. Burns" : Miss Tatlock, I think we've found our man.

  Gloria Tatlock : Mr. Burns, you can't be serious.

  "Mr. Burns" : If he can be of help, we'll use the devil himself.

• Ho Chong : Like Western companies, I insure those parts of the body deemed most precious by my customers.

  Glendon Wasey : How big a policy we got to buy to find Wu Ch'En She?

  Ho Chong : Here's a fine bargain: the armpits, the genitals and both ankles. Only 40 Shanghai dollars.

  Glendon Wasey : What have you got for 30?

  Ho Chong : For 30 dollars, I could do the armpits, the genitals, and both ankles; but, I could not find Wu Ch'En She!

  Glendon Wasey : Okay, how about, the armpits, the genitals...

  Gloria Tatlock : Mr. Wasey, would you please conclude this transaction.

  Glendon Wasey : All right. We take your 40 dollar policy.

• Glendon Wasey : You're looking for Faraday's flowers?

  Gloria Tatlock : You've heard of them?

  Glendon Wasey : I've also heard of El Dorado and the lost Dutchman's mine. They don't exist either. You're crazy!

• Gloria Tatlock : Finding the opium is the most important thing I'll ever do.

• Joe Go : If someone make the switch, Joe Go bet on Faraday.

  [explosion heard] 

  Gloria Tatlock : What was that?

  Joe Go : Very hot item. Joe Go call it: Shanghai Surprise.

• Glendon Wasey : I wish you'd give up this opium business and just go back to saving souls.

  Gloria Tatlock : Mr. Wasey, believe me, I'm not some little lamb whose lost in the woods.

  Glendon Wasey : No, you're not lost in the woods. You're lost in a jungle. Shanghai's the most dangerous city...

• Gloria Tatlock : You deceitful, jelly-spined, backstabbing bastard!

  Glendon Wasey : You didn't learn that in Brookline, Massachusetts.

  Gloria Tatlock : No! I got it from associating with - with pricks like you!

• Glendon Wasey : Perhaps I'll stay around here awhile.

  Gloria Tatlock : And do what?

  Glendon Wasey : I could give being a missionary a try.

  Walter Faraday : There'll be no drinking, no gambling, no whoring. My boy, I've tried it. It's hell on earth.

• Gloria Tatlock : I can't. My skirt's too tight.