George Kennedy: Capt. Ed Hocken
Photos
Quotes
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Ed : He's on life support. Doctors say he's got a 50-50 chance of living, though there's only a ten percent chance of that.
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[Nordberg is being visited in the hospital by his wife, Wilma, along with Frank and Ed, after Nordberg had barely survived a massive gunfire by a group of ruffians. Wilma is taking the unfortunate circumstance pretty hard, and with no help from Frank's blunt assumptions and remarks about the situation]
Mrs. Nordberg : Oh, my poor Nordberg! He was such a good man, Frank. He never wanted to hurt anyone. Who would do such a thing?
Ed : It's hard to tell.
Frank : [being blunt] A roving gang of thugs, a blackmailer, an angry husband, a gay lover...
[Wilma sobs]
Ed : Frank, get a hold of yourself!
Frank : A good cop, needlessly cut down and ambushed by some cowardly hoodlum.
Ed : That's no way for a man to die.
Frank : [being blunt] Ah, you're right, Ed. A parachute not opening... that's a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine... having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that's the way I wanna go!
Mrs. Nordberg : [Wilma sobs again] Oh... Frank! Oh, this is terrible!
Ed : Don't you worry, Wilma. Your husband is going to be all right. Don't you worry about anything. Just think positive. Never let a doubt enter your mind.
Frank : [being blunt] He's right, Wilma. But I wouldn't wait until the last minute to fill out those organ donor cards.
[Wilma sobs again]
Ed : What I'm trying to say is that, Wilma, as soon as Nordberg is better, he's welcome back at Police Squad.
Frank : [being blunt] Unless he's a drooling vegetable. But I think that's only common sense.
[Wilma sobs again]
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Ed : [regarding the Press] Frank, they're not here for you. "Weird Al" Yankovic is on the plane.
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Frank : I'm telling ya, the answer's up there in Ludwig's office. Call it what you will. A hunch, woman's intuition. That guy Ludwig knows a lot more than he's telling us.
Ed : A hunch won't stand up in court, Frank. Where are your hard facts?
Frank : Look. He's the only one outside of ourselves who knew that Nordberg was still alive. Next thing we know, some thug tries to knock Nordberg off in the hospital.
Ed : That may be, but breaking into Ludwig's office, you're takin' a big chance.
Frank : I know. You take a chance getting up in the morning, crossing the street, or sticking your face in a fan.
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Ed : Wilma, can you think of any reason that Nordberg was at the waterfront last night?
Mrs. Nordberg : No. But I found this at home, in a drawer.
Ed : [taking what she gives him] A photograph. "I Luv You," out of Caracas.
[showing the picture to Frank]
Ed : A Panamanian ship. Frank, when Nordberg said "I love you," he was telling you the name of the ship.
Frank : I realize that... now.
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Mrs. Nordberg : [Nordberg is in the hospital] Oh, Frank, I'm so glad you came.
Frank : Wilma, it's good to see you. I came as soon as I heard.
Mrs. Nordberg : Oh, thank you, Frank.
Frank : You bet. Where's Nordberg?
Ed : [indicating the bed] Uh, he's right here, Frank.
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Ed : Welcome home, Frank. Good work in Beirut. We all heard what you did.
Frank : Thank you, Ed. I just want to know one thing. Is it true what you wrote me about Victoria?
Ed : I'm afraid so, Frank. She just ran off with some guy. They got married last week.
Frank : Well, then it's over. It's all over. All of this is meaningless. I did it for her. I did everything for her. And now she's gone.
[happening to approach a podium set up with press microphones]
Frank : And you, you came down here to get the hot story, didn't you? Pictures of me to sell your lousy newspapers.
Ed : Uh, Frank...
Frank : Sure, you think I'm a big hero, the man of the hour. Well, do any of you understand how a man can hurt inside?
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Frank : Hi, Ed, Ted. You got those fiber samples?
Ted Olsen : Shh, shh, shh, we got some action out here.
Frank : What-what... what's happening?
Ted Olsen : We're testing that new anti-graffiti wall.
Ed : And it looks like we've got a few customers.
Ted Olsen : It's set to react when the spray hits the sensors.
[as the vandals spray-paint the wall, they get sprayed in return]
Frank : You've done it again. Mazel tov.
Ed : Good work, Ted. What will you lab boys think up next?
Ted Olsen : [leading them into another room] Now that you mention it, here's something we developed only yesterday. To the casual observer, an ordinary shoe. But in actuality...
[popping a knife blade out of the toe, a la "From Russia with Love"]
Ted Olsen : ...it makes quite a handy weapon.
[taking other various tools out]
Ted Olsen : And everything a cop in the field would need. We call it the Swiss Army shoe.
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Jane : I overheard Ludwig after the banquet. You were right all along, Frank. Ludwig is planning to have someone assassinate the Queen!
Frank : Where?
Jane : At the baseball game. The Queen'll be there this afternoon as a guest of Ludwig. I'm supposed to be with them.
Ed : Are you telling us that Vincent Ludwig is going to just shoot the Queen in front of 60,000 fans?
Jane : No, he said a player's gonna do it, during the seventh-inning stretch.
Ed : [checking his watch] That game starts in 20 minutes.
Frank : I better get down there right away.
Jane : I'll go with you.
Frank : No, it's best you stay with Ludwig. That way, we won't arouse any suspicion.
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Ed : It's disgusting the way they splash this stuff all over the newspapers. What is journalism coming to? You're laying on top of the Queen with her legs wrapped around you and they call that news. They can't kick you off the force, Frank. It's just not fair!
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Ted Olsen : [testing fibers from Nordberg's jacket] At first glance, it would appear to be only the normal cotton fibers. But when we focused in closer, we discovered fine white powder. We tested it; pure heroin.
Ed : How well do you know Nordberg, Frank?
Frank : We were partners for nine years, and he's my best friend.
Ed : I know, Frank, but we can't allow personal feelings to get in the way of duty.
Frank : Are you saying that Nordberg is a...
Ed : I'm telling you that the Queen arrives here the day after tomorrow. If the press should pick this up with Nordberg still part of the force, it could be embarrassing to the police and the city. I'm sorry, Frank. I'm giving you 24 hours to clear Nordberg.
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[last lines]
Mayor Barkley : Drebin! I was wrong about you. This city and the whole world owes you a debt of gratitude.
Frank : Thank you.
Mayor Barkley : And Monday morning, we want you back at Police Squad... with a promotion to Captain.
Frank : Mayor!
Mayor Barkley : Don't thank me. There's someone else here who wants to thank you.
[a smiling Nordberg rolls up in a wheelchair]
Frank : Nordberg!
Det. Nordberg : Hiya, buddy! The doc says I should be on my feet in a week!
Ed : And back on the force!
Frank : Nordberg, that's wonderful!
[Frank slaps Nordberg on the back, causing his wheelchair to slide forward down a flight of stairs and then flings his body off onto the baseball field]
Jane : Frank! Everybody should have a friend like you.
