The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! (1988)

Priscilla Presley: Jane Spencer

Photos 

4 more photos

Quotes 

• Frank : It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.

  Jane : Goodyear?

  Frank : No, the worst.

• [Jane climbs a ladder] 

  Frank : Nice beaver!

  Jane : [producing a stuffed beaver]  Thank you. I just had it stuffed.

• Jane : I've heard police work is dangerous.

  Frank : It is. That's why I carry a big gun.

  Jane : Aren't you afraid it might go off accidentally?

  Frank : I used to have that problem.

  Jane : What did you do about it?

  Frank : I just think about baseball.

• Vincent Ludwig : Drebin!

  Jane : Frank!

  Frank : You're both right.

• Frank : Interesting... almost as interesting as the photographs I saw today.

  Jane : I was young! I needed the work!

• Jane : Would you like a nightcap?

  Frank : No, thank you, I don't wear them.

• Jane : I wanted you to know, now, I've loved you since the first day I met you, and I'll never stop. I'm a very lucky woman.

  Frank : So am I...

• [Frank Drebin is angrily breaking up with Jane Spencer] 

  Frank : By the way - I faked every orgasm.

  Jane : [heartbroken]  Funny Face.

• Jane : How could you do something so vicious?

  Vincent Ludwig : It was easy my dear. You forget, I spent two years as a building contractor.

• Jane : How about a rain check?

  Frank : Well, let's just stick to dinner.

• Jane : I'm boiling a roast. How hot and wet do you like it?

  Frank : Very hot, and awfully wet.

• Jane : [going through the food in Frank's fridge]  Wong Wu's? Are they back in business? I thought they closed down three years ago.

  Frank : Oh, gee, has it been that long? I don't feel like Chinese tonight, anyway.

  [opening the container and smelling the contents, his eyes cross and he passes out] 

• Jane : Vincent Ludwig and I, there was never anything between us. He likes East German men.

  Frank : And what about you?

  Jane : I like cops.

• Jane : I was only doing what I was told to do.

  Frank : Like make love to me?

  Jane : [gasps]  FRANK!

  [slaps him across the face] 

• Jane : I overheard Ludwig after the banquet. You were right all along, Frank. Ludwig is planning to have someone assassinate the Queen!

  Frank : Where?

  Jane : At the baseball game. The Queen'll be there this afternoon as a guest of Ludwig. I'm supposed to be with them.

  Ed : Are you telling us that Vincent Ludwig is going to just shoot the Queen in front of 60,000 fans?

  Jane : No, he said a player's gonna do it, during the seventh-inning stretch.

  Ed : [checking his watch]  That game starts in 20 minutes.

  Frank : I better get down there right away.

  Jane : I'll go with you.

  Frank : No, it's best you stay with Ludwig. That way, we won't arouse any suspicion.

• [last lines] 

  Mayor Barkley : Drebin! I was wrong about you. This city and the whole world owes you a debt of gratitude.

  Frank : Thank you.

  Mayor Barkley : And Monday morning, we want you back at Police Squad... with a promotion to Captain.

  Frank : Mayor!

  Mayor Barkley : Don't thank me. There's someone else here who wants to thank you.

  [a smiling Nordberg rolls up in a wheelchair] 

  Frank : Nordberg!

  Det. Nordberg : Hiya, buddy! The doc says I should be on my feet in a week!

  Ed : And back on the force!

  Frank : Nordberg, that's wonderful!

  [Frank slaps Nordberg on the back, causing his wheelchair to slide forward down a flight of stairs and then flings his body off onto the baseball field] 

  Jane : Frank! Everybody should have a friend like you.

• Frank : That's a honey of an ankle-bracelet you have there.

  Jane : Did it slip down there again?

• Jane : You're late.

  Frank : That depends on what I'm late for.

  Jane : You said we should have dinner sometime. Tonight became - "sometime".

• Jane : How is your - meat?

  Frank : You be the judge of that.

  [picks up a piece of the roast with his fingers and feeds it to Jane] 

  Jane : Mmm.

  [Jane takes the meat and sucks on Frank's finger] 

  Jane : Mmm.

  Frank : I've got nine more.

• Frank : You seem to know your way around a kitchen.

  Jane : I'm just as handy in other rooms of the house.

• Frank : That shirt looks familiar.

  Jane : It's yours. I didn't want to get stained or wrinkled. At least - not yet.

• Jane : I had a wonderful day, Frank. I can't believe we just met yesterday.

  Frank : You really mean that, Jane? You're not just saying it, because we exchanged bodily fluids?

• Jane : Frank, what's wrong?

  Frank : A lot of things, sweetie-pie. A little meeting that turned into a peek-a-boo session with bullets, all set up by someone who's been playing me like a violin at the annual Saps Convention.

  Jane : Funny face, I don't know what you're talking about.

  Frank : My stockyard meeting, butter wings. Or don't you remember setting that up?

• Jane : I was only doing what I was told to do!

  Frank : Like make love to me?

• [last lines] 

  Jane : Oh, Frank! Everyone should have a friend like you!