- The Governor: He's pardoned.
- Roy Ridnitz: You can't do that!
- The Governor: Yes I can. He's pardoned, and he's pardoned, and she's pardoned and you're not!
- Christy Colleran: [after John tells her not to use profanity in the news broadcasts] When have I EVER used foul language, you rotten son-of-a-BITCH?
- Blaine Bingham: Did you really sign a reporter's contract "Peter Rabbit?"
- John L. Sullivan IV: Yes.
- Blaine Bingham: What did the reporter do?
- John L. Sullivan IV: Christy? She laughed her ass off.
- John L. Sullivan IV: Tickets. You already got the tickets?
- Blaine Bingham: Yes.
- John L. Sullivan IV: Why did you tell me?
- Blaine Bingham: Well, I didn't think you'd be that interested.
- John L. Sullivan IV: Siegenthaler! Kick satellite 11 for Christ's sakes!
- [kicks satellite]
- John L. Sullivan IV: Again!
- [kicks again]
- John L. Sullivan IV: Perfect!
- Christy Colleran: [running in a marathon] It may look like rain to the rest of you, but on Lake Shore Drive it's sunshine all the way.
- [motorcycle drives by and wets her]
- Christy Colleran: Ah! Thats right Chicago hit me, beat me I love it! This is Christy Colleran, Satellite Network News.
- Christy Colleran: This just in: At 12 noon today 15,000 students from all 50 states, will be joined electronically to play "Darktown Strutters Ball" on the kazoo
- [starts to chuckle]
- Christy Colleran: for the President of the United States.
- [starts to laugh harder]
- Christy Colleran: The Prestident as you know is a former kazoo player and may wish to join in.
- [laughing louder]
- Christy Colleran: Wait a minute, wait a minute here, we're doing a story about 15,000 kazoo players and
- [mockingly]
- Christy Colleran: the President of the United States!
- [laughing hysterically]
- John L. Sullivan IV: [talking on the phone] I think my ex-wife is cracking up. What do you mean "give her a vacation"!
- [sees Christy cracking up on the monitor]
- John L. Sullivan IV: Give her a vacation.
- [Christy keeps on laughing uncontrolably]
- Roy Ridnitz: [standing, thinking about his next move in repsonse to Ike Roscoe's possible pardon] We're gonna kill him anyways.
- Blaine Bingham: So, you're what a network news man looks like.
- John L. Sullivan IV: And you sell jock straps!
- Blaine Bingham: 25 million last year alone. You know if I'd invented that little baby, I'd be a rich man today.
- John L. Sullivan IV: I thought you were a rich man. Aren't you a multi-millionaire?
- Blaine Bingham: Depends on what you mean by multi.
- John L. Sullivan IV: Multi usually means more than one!
- Christy Colleran: Blaine, sweetheart, we don't have to dicuss our finances with him.
- John L. Sullivan IV: Our?
- Christy Colleran: Our.
- Blaine Bingham: Did you know that Chicago means, "the smell of wild onions?"
- John L. Sullivan IV: Did you New York just means, "New York?"
- Christy Colleran: Blaine knows everything about food.
- John L. Sullivan IV: Now that's important. to know EVERYTHING about food.