The Simpsons (1989– )
Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Kearney, Todd Flanders, Maggie Simpson, Kearney Zzyzwicz, Database, Additional Voices, Lewis, Martin Prince, Ralph, Boy, Girl, Miss Springfield, Others, Rod Flanders, Baby, Child Crowd, Crowd Members, Crystal Meth Spuckler, Gavin, International Harvester Spuckler, Kearney Jr., Kent Brockman's Daughter, Krusty's Assistant, Ling Bouvier, Mother, Various Kids, White-Haired Girl, Woman #1, "Cockamamie's" Salesgirl, 'Bart sucks!' people, 'He's white!', 'Porch Pals' Itchy, 'Porch Pals' Scratchy, 1st Parrot, Actor, Admiral Baby, Alice, American Exchange Student, Andy's Girlfriend, Angry Crowd, Angry Tourist's Son, Animal Handler, Anonymous Children, Anonymous Students, Appreciative Nurse #2, Ashley Grant Actress, Asian Woman at Club, Audience Member #2, Audience Members, Audio Ladies, Auditioning Actress, Auditioning Woman #2, Auditioning Woman #3, Baby #1, Baby #2, Baby Bear, Baby Jesus, Baby at Park, Bart Cactus, Bart Goblins, Bart as Mr. Burns, Bart's Elder Son, Bart's Younger Son, Barterfinger, Barticelli, Bartigula, Beauty Pageant Entry #1, Becky, Beethoven, Bert Albertson, Billionaire Explainer, Billy, Blonde Woman at Club #1, Boy #1, Boy #3, Boy Scout, Boy at Kwik-E-Mart, Boy in Film, Bride, Bride Idle Lady, British Woman, Brittany, Bubbles, Candy, Car Model, Cashier, Charity Titters, Charlotte, Cheating Newlywed, Child, Child #2, Child #3, Child #5, Child Audience Members, Child at Dentist's, Child in Action-Figure Man, Child in Lisa's Class...
Photos
Quotes
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Ralph : Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!
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Bart : Ay, carumba!
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Comic Book Guy : That was from a Dream Sequence! It never really happened.
Bart : None of these things ever really happened!
Comic Book Guy : Get out of my Store!
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Bart : Eat my shorts.
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Robert Goulet : Are you sure this is the casino? Mr. Burns' Casino? I think I should call my manager...
Nelson : Your manager says for you to shut up!
Robert Goulet : Vera said that?
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Principal Skinner : [over the school's PA system] Students, I have an announcement. One of your favourite comic book heroes, Radio Man...
Nelson : Radioactive Man, stupid!
Principal Skinner : Strange. I shouldn't have been able to hear that.
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Nelson : I feel like such a tool.
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Bart : Don't have a cow, man.
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Bart : I'm not bad, I just make bad decisions.
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Bart : [filling Skinner's pants with cats and dynamite]
Principal Skinner : This is not going to end well.
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Milhouse : I'm tired of being a star, it's a sham! The real heroes are out there working on more important things!
Bart : Television.
Milhouse : No, curing cancer and solving world hunger!
Bart : But they haven't solved anything! Cancer and world hunger are still rampant. Those do-gooders are a bunch of pitiful losers!
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[repeated line]
Bart : Well, I'm bored.
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[repeated line]
Bart : This blows.
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Bart : I got a rapid heartbeat from KrustyBrand Vitamins, but this will not stand!
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Bart : Culture's in Decline! Deal with it!
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Bart : Are you gonna throw me in the Loony Bin?
Therapist : No, there are no Loony Bins any more! Those people are on the street...
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Bart : Snap out of it! You're Krusty the Clown! One of Look Magazine's Hundred Most Promising Clowns of 1958!
Krusty the Clown : A lot of suicides in that group. Funny suicides...
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Ralph : Your God is Wrong!
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Bart : They've forgotten that it's supposed to be about the Grammar.
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Mrs. Krabappel : [Bart accidentally killed the class fish with his yo-yo] Bart, that's one month's detention.
Bart : Mrs Krabappel, we're all upset by the untimely deaths of Stinky and Wrinkles, but life goes on, so if I could just have my yo-yo back...
Mrs. Krabappel : Bart, if I were you and you were me, would you give back the yo-yo?
Bart : [Bart imagines himself as a giant with a yo-yo and Mrs Krabappel as a tiny person] Here you go.
[he reels it in before she can grab it]
Bart : Just kidding. Here you go.
[does it again]
Bart : Just kidding.
[laughs evilly]
Mrs. Krabappel : Well, would you?
Bart : Absolutely.
Mrs. Krabappel : HA!
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Captain McCallister : You're the boy that does healing miracles, arrrrrren't ya?
Bart : I don't do that anymore. I am no healer.
Captain McCallister : Arrr. I guess I'll have to find someone else to help me with my crippling depression.
[wanders away]
Bart : And I thought he had it all.
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Bart : [junk mail] Poison the Termites, Gas the Termites, Nuke the Termites, Save the Termites...
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Principal Skinner : [Loudspeaker] Someone has been distributing counterfeit candy hearts with off colour sentiments on them. I would like to remind you that Valentine's Day is no laughing matter!
[Vietnam Flashback]
Principal Skinner : Writing a Valentine to your sweetheart, Johnny?
Johnny : You betcha!
[Machine-gunned to death]
Principal Skinner : Johnny? Johnny!
[Doesn't realise he's thinking aloud]
Principal Skinner : JOHNNYYYY!
Bart : Cool, I broke his brain!
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Bart : [funny noise]
Milhouse : Ha! You're funny. And the world needs a clown.
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Bart : Why are we best friends?
Milhouse : Because our seats were behind each other at School!
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Bart : [to Lisa] What are you going to change your name to when you get older?
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Bart : A kid who can't keep his parents' marriage together is no kid at all.
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Bart : As the Rabbi says, "Blessed are the Jesters."
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Carny : You had that scar when you got on!
Bart : What scar?
Carny : You'll find out.
[rips out the safety bar, wanders off]
Carny : I like keeping records to myself. Ahh, oh I make the soup, my goodness, do I make the soup!
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Bart : The Internet wrote my Essay, and I handed it in.
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Bart : [Rod and Tod] When they grow up, people like me will take all their money and girlfriends.
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Bart : Krusty has little feet, like all goodhearted people!
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Bart : You don't have to kill me, Bob, I'll probably kill myself, soon!
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Bart : Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future
