How I Got Into College (1989)

Corey Parker: Marlon Browne

Photos 

Quotes 

• Marlon Browne : Two men, A and B, are trapped inside my mailbox chained to 200,000 pounds of explosives.

  B : This isn't funny!

  A : What test is this?

  Marlon Browne : If their chains are three inches thick and they have thirty seconds to escape, sawing at one inch per second, what are their chances for survival?

  B : Skip it! Go to the next problem!

  A : Come on, man! Get us out of here!

  Marlon Browne : Who cares? I already got into college.

• Marlon Browne : The interview is going to be key for me, since I'm the type that comes across much better in person than on paper.

  Jessica Kailo : Oh, you do?

• Marlon Browne : [the mailman has dropped off a letter in the mailbox, while a dog bites at his leg]  Would you do me a favor and open it, please? I'm too nervous.

  Mailman : I'd love to.

  [he opens the letter and reads it] 

  Mailman : Marlon Browne? Congratulations.

  Marlon Browne : I did it! I got into Ramsey! It's from Ramsey?

  Mailman : No, it's from Ed McMahon. You may have already won ten million dollars.

• Arcadia Bible Academy Recruiter : [inside a booth at a college recruiting fair]  Welcome to the Arcadia Bible Academy! Last night, Jesus Christ came down to me on a vision in a flaming pie! He said, I want... what's your name?

  Marlon Browne : Marlon.

  Arcadia Bible Academy Recruiter : Marlon! I want Marlon to attend the Arcadia Bible Academy. Paying full tuition, of course. Son... Jesus *loves* you.

  Marlon Browne : He might not if he saw my SAT scores.

  Arcadia Bible Academy Recruiter : They're low?

  Marlon Browne : Yeah.

  Arcadia Bible Academy Recruiter : All right.

  [he pats Marlon on the shoulder, Marlon leaves the booth] 

  Arcadia Bible Academy Recruiter : Jesus!

• Marlon Browne : People choose colleges for all kinds of idiotic reasons, like fraternities and Slavic language departments.

• Marlon Browne : The thing about Ramsey, Dad, is that they actually consider people like me.

  Sharon Browne : What does that mean? They're looking for someone with a definitive collection of Silver Surfer comic books?