Journey to the Center of the Earth (1988) User Reviews

The video rental probably cost more than the film production. (minor spoilers)

[vertigo_14 · 2/10 · 7 March 2006]

Journey to the Center of the Earth is the story of some tourists of Hawaii, three of them siblings, and one of them a young British nanny babysitting a dog. When the siblings accidentally drive off in their jeep with the basket of dog biscuits, the nanny follows them (it might've just been safer to purchase more) all the way to the cave the siblings intended to explore (I guess). For some reason, they actually go in the cave and then, when the place starts caving in, they try to get out to no avail, except for the six-year-old sister who they tell to go get help. Meanwhile, the more they move around in the cave, the more they continue to plummet further and further towards the earths cavernous core. And behold, it is here where they find the City of Atlantis and its bizarre alien habitants who are living under the oppressive rule of one alien that doesn't want them asking to many questions about the worlds external to their own.

I see that Rusty Lemorande, the named director of the film has provided comments on this film, in which he explains that part of latter half of this film is actually the sequel to Alien in L.A. Well, whatever it was, it was an amazingly cheap movie that I would rank only slightly higher than City Limits (a 1988 sci-fi film also made on a non-existent budget) because at the least ending of this dreadful piece of mostly incoherent film-making that cuts corners where it can aims for some humor and amusement in the last 20 minutes when we finally see what life is like in the alien world at the center of the Earth. I also give it a two star rating rather than one because it was at times, funny, even if only in its subtleties. For example, the aliens asks the British girl if she's an alien and she explains that the Ministry should be sending her work visa shortly. Or when the alien girl finds Bryan and explains that he is in the city of Altantis and he mistakes this for Atlantic City, New Jersey. Little things like that make the idiocy of the first hour or so tolerable. Imagine how great the film could've been though if they had 1) actually intended to make it, and 2) actually had money to make it.

I do like how in the end, no one wonders what happened to the little sister who was sent away in the beginning to get help. She'd just be wandering around the Hawaiian caves and not too far from the erupting volcano, mind you.

A muddled mess

[Leofwine_draca · 2/10 · 25 November 2017]

JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH is an incredibly poor B-movie science fiction film shot in South Africa. For the first part it plays out as a genuine attempt at a novel adaptation, but then an entirely different film is tacked on and directed by B-movie specialist Albert Pyun. This film is a sequel to ALIEN FROM L.A. and feels like NIGHT OF THE COMET in its depiction of fashion victims battling an alien race living below the Earth. Truth be told, this is cheesy and confusing, with only the fashions and hairstyles standing out; the rest is unfunny, badly acted, and completely generic, the kind of movie that has absolutely no idea what it wants to be.

Journey to the Center of the Earth: Hardly an "Adaptation"

[Platypuschow · 3/10 · 20 February 2019]

One of many many adaptations of the Jules Verne classic Journey to the Center of the Earth it's also the sequel to Alien from L.A (1988).

It's easy to make it randomly a sequel to some dodgy film as it has about as much to do with Verne's work as E.T (1982) does with Alien (1979)!

It tells the story of three young people who find themselves trapped in a cave system when a nearby volcano erupts. Forced to go further in to try and find a way out they come across the lost city of Atlantis and all the drivel that came with the previous movie.

To its credit it does follow Alien from L.A fairly well, but that's pretty much all it has going for it. It's yet another cheesy mess that lacks in pretty much every area of entertainment value.

To make matters worse there is a dream sequence that has nothing to do with anything and the scene that builds up to the finale seems to have been removed entirely!

If you can get past these issues and so very much more than you might find some level of enjoyment watching the two movies as a pair but as a stand alone it's devoid of anything and everything.

The Good:

Follows on from the previous movie well

Some neat pop culture references

The Bad:

The application of bioluminescence is still stupid

Not even remotely an adaptation

Pointless dream sequence

Very dishonest cover art

Ending feels unfinished

By Way of Explanation (from the Named Director)

[lemorande · 19 March 2004]

I'm the named director of the film. Only the approximately first 8 minutes of the film were written or directed by me. The remainder of the film is actually the sequel to "Alien In LA" which was tacked on and renamed "Journey to the Center of the Earth" in order to fulfill contractual commitments by the production company to foreign distributors. The remainder of the footage I shot (my film) has never been seen by the public (and few others) due to the lack of funds at the time to shoot and insert the many special effects shots required. The storyline of my version/script is entirely different from that in the above-titled film (the released version).

Worst film I have ever seen

[paulj4266 · 1/10 · 20 May 2014]

This movie should win or be in the category the worst film ever made. I cannot say anything good about it at all. The acting, writing, direction, scenery, and everything else is just so poor. However, I would actually recommend that you see this film just to believe that it was made. The first half of the film is about the journey to the center of the world. Then people go missing, some without any reason. Then the second half is about the lost city of Atlantis which I believe is the 2nd half of another film which they obviously thought would work together. It didn't. If you like B movies then it might be funny to you. But, to anyone else, it really sucks. Gave it 1 out of 10 because there is no option of 0 out of 10.

Why...Just Why

[sapphiredragon-33352 · 1/10 · 10 April 2020]

Just when I thought I seen it all here comes this nonsensical movie arriving on its bull crap. This is just a tangled up mess and I am still waiting for someone to tell me this is a joke.

An in-cohesive, incoherent mess of a film.

[woodgatejack-sfr · 2/10 · 12 July 2017]

From an early age I've loved films based on Jules Verne's "Journey To The Centre of Earth", Edgar Rice Burroughs' "At The Earth's Core", Arthur Conan Doyle's "The Lost World" and countless other tales of hidden realms populated by strange civilisations, weird creatures or dinosaurs, no matter how loosely they followed the original, how many liberties they took with it or how much they "borrowed" from each other. I'm also a fan of cheesy 80's fantasy, so generally I can be forgiving towards wobbly special effects, but even I must draw the line somewhere! My main problem with this isn't the terrible acting or the dodgy special effects (anyone waiting for stop-motion dinosaurs, please move along. There's some men-in-suit monsters, I'll get to those in a sec) but with they fact that this "story" has no structure to it whatsoever. Characters that start of being the main protagonists end up being side-lined or even just forgotten (I would imagine they couldn't afford the actors after filming started and they just walked off set), plot lines are set up then are not resolved and it literally ends with "And then someone just does something and makes everything OK- THE END!". Halfway through the film the characters have dream sequences, one of which shows the protagonists shooting up through a tunnel in a large stone bowl, reminiscent of the ending of the Disney film of the same name, another shows one of the heroes rescuing the others and a character that is yet to be introduced played by Emo Philips (who's name receives top billing) from large, shambling monsters. Later in the film Emo Philips does indeed turn up, albeit in a different costume and wig to that he had in the dream and you go "Aha! The characters were somehow predicting their own future!" but that isn't the case! Philips character is just another "wacky" minion who doesn't effect the story whatsoever!

If films were cars you'd have some that were finely crafted Rolls Royces, some that were sturdy, reliable functional trucks and others that may be cheap and badly made or old and rusted and falling apart. Journey To The Center of the Earth isn't even one of these, it's just some assorted junk that someone has assembled in the shape of a car. Seriously, this film should never had been released.

Meaningless Movie

[dsmith6068 · 1/10 · 5 June 2019]

Supposedly a sequel to "Alien from LA". But not really anything. No plot. Not ending. Nothing. Why did actors take this job? Were they that short of money? Producers must have been pretending to fulfill a contract obligation, but produced zero budget garbage. Even as a camp comedy it fails. Don't bother.

Legendary Sci-Fi Genius Jules Verne Is Spinning In His Grave At This Atrocious Adaptation!

[zardoz-13 · 1/10 · 12 July 2008]

The funny sound that you may hear when you eyeball this execrable version of Jules Verne's classic "Journey to the Center of the Earth" is Verne spinning in his grave. The only thing about this 80 minute opus that has anything to do with "Journey to the Center of the Earth" is the title. Otherwise, everything else in this lackluster production is new and not worth watching. In fact, the director has written here at IMDb.COM that he directed only eight minutes of "Journey to the Center of the Earth" and the studio tacked on part of "Dollman" helmer Albert Pyun's sequel to his own "Alien from L.A." with Kathy Ireland. Evidently, the producers ran out of money and to satisfy overseas contractual obligations, they grafted Pyun's sequel onto director Rusty Lemorande's movie. Please, don't rent or buy this wretched piece of garbage.

Unlike director Henry Levin's period piece "Journey to the Center of the Earth" (1959) with James Mason and Pat Boone, Lemorande's "Journey to the Center of the Earth" takes place in contemporary times in Hawaii. Two fellows, a British nanny, and a dog are brought together for the adventure of a lifetime purely by coincidence. Richard (Paul Carafotes of "Blind Date") and his comic book obsessed brother Bryan (Ilan Mitchell-Smith of "Weird Science") are going out to explore a cave. The heroine, Crystina (Nicola Cowper of "Underworld"), works for a domestic service called 'Nannies R Us.' Being a nanny has been Crystina's life-long dream, but she has made a less of all five of her nanny jobs. Nevertheless, her sympathetic supervisor, Ms. Ferry (Lynda Marshall of "Africa Express"), sends her to Hawaii. Crystina's new client, rock star Billy Foul (Jeremy Crutchley of "Doomsday") who is scheduling one last concert to revive his flagging career, has a dog named Bernard. Foul wants Crystina to take Bernard to a doggie day spa. Crystina is waiting on the arrival of her taxi when a careless motel attendant accidentally puts the basket that conceals Bernard in Richard's jeep. You see, Foul has hidden his canine in a basket because motel management strictly prohibits pets on their premises. Foul has disguised the dog as a human baby. Anyway, Crystina catches a cab and tells the driver follow Richard.

After she catches up with them to get her dog, the cabbie cruises away and abandons her. Crystina demands that Richard drive her back to town, but he has other plans. Unhappily, Crystina joins the guys and they get lost, and then find themselves in the lost city of Atlantis, a police state ruled by a dictator, at the center of the Earth. The rulers of Atlantis repeatedly notify their citizens that life on the surface does not exist. Our heroes and heroine stumble onto Atlantis quite by accident. Atlantis resembles a disco and everybody looks like they are straight out of a punk rock opera. The ruler of Atlantis, General Rykov (Janet Du Plessis of "Operation Hit Squad"), is orchestrating a raid on the surface with clones of the first human, Wanda Saknussemm (Kathy Ireland of "Necessary Roughness"), to visit Atlantis. Predictably, General Rykov machinations to rule Atlantis and overthrow the Earth fails, and our heroes and heroine save the day.

"Journey to the Center of the Earth" is an abomination. The movie seems to be a comedy despite its superficial satire about dictatorships. Albert Pyun is one of my favorite low budget action directors, but he blew it on this lightweight shambles of a science fiction saga.

I want the one and a half hours back

[csfmantuanj · 1/10 · 20 December 2019]

Bad acting has nothing to do with this, it's ridiculous story line is totally unbelievable. Alien From LA was a decent movie for what it was. This story started off floundering to gain momentum and failed miserably. A nanny from England (Nannies R Us) looses her job, goes back to the office, a call comes in and they tell her she's going to Hawaii, just an average day in the office. She goes to Hawaii,finds out she's a nanny for a failing musician and he wants her to be a nanny for his dog, she takes the dog for a walk and winds up following two brothers to a cave, inactive volcanic supposedly after a hotel worker puts her basket into a jeep and she follows them in a Yellow Cab and winds up in Atlantis. The story doesn't end, one brother never makes it into the story very far and you never find out what happens to him and the film leaves the story incomplete. And I could care less what happens next. It ends with a montage of random clips, the end.. If this was supposed to have a sequel it would be a horrific waste of time and money. It fails before the 2nd part, this part even starts. Albert Pyun was right.

No

[daddymanof2 · 1/10 · 28 January 2019]

Don't waste your time. Run away as fast as you can from this movie.

A gloriously ghastly mess

[Woodyanders · 8/10 · 17 August 2009]

Spunky British nanny Crystina (cute Nicola Cowper, who sports a vintage 80's Cyndi Lauper-like short spiky hairdo) and squabbling brothers Bryan (obnoxious Ilan Mitchell-Smith of "Weird Science") and Richard (jerky Paul Carafotes) discover the fantastic and dangerous subterranean city of Atlantis while exploring a cave. Said city is ruled by a strict totalitarian government that doesn't take kindly to any strangers from the above ground world. Man, is this flick a real incredibly baffling and barely coherent mishmosh of two separate movies: Director Rusty Lemorande had his finished feature taken away from him by callous studio executives and completed by director Albert Pyun, who turned the movie into a bizarre and baffling sort of sequel to his delightfully inane "Alien from L.A.". The resultant patchwork abomination comes complete with draggy pacing, severe lapses in basic logic (Richard gets a face full of steam, but doesn't suffer any burns whatsoever!), annoying characters, silly dream scenes, shoddy (not so) special effects, a laboriously drawn-out opening third, garish cinematography (the film often resembles a very tacky 80's music video stretched out to feature length), funky, syncopated music, irritating use of wipes, a ridiculous music montage sequence, and a totally nonsensical ending. Janet Du Plessis has a nifty dual role as helpful rat lady Shank and evil eye-patched General Rykov, Kathy Ireland makes a cameo appearance as Wanda Saknussemm, and eccentric stand-up comedian Emo Philips can be briefly glimpsed in one of the dream scenes. Despite its frequently dumbfounding cheesiness and pervasive feeling of heavy lethargy, this oddity still manages to be strangely watchable and entertaining. By no means a good film, but a deliciously dreadful piece of dreck that hardcore bad cinema aficionados should get a kick out of seeing.

Cannon fun

[parkerbcn · 6/10 · 21 May 2021]

Supposedly this is kind of a sequel to "Alien from L. A.", that I haven't seen, but I very much doubt that it would make more sense if I had watched the previous film. What starts out as a kind of 80s teenage version of Verne's novel, quickly transforms into a psychotronic Sci-Fi film that adds the myth of Atlantis and some punk rock attitude to the proceedings in a spectacular mess impossible to describe. Again, we are in the territory of very bad films, but with the Cannon seal of cheesy entertainment that makes for a very fun crazy product with the right frame of mind.

worst film I've ever seen

[jimdmurphy · 1/10 · 14 October 2001]

This film is the worst film I have ever seen. The story line is weak - I couldn't even follow it. The acting is high-schoolish. The sound track is irritating. The attempts at humor are not. The editing is horrible. The credits are even slow - I would be embarrassed to have my name associated with this waste of film. Don't waste your time even thinking about this attempt at acting.

Punk rock Jules Verne

[SanDiego · 12 September 2000]

Sequel to the campy, much maligned Kathy Ireland vehicle, "Alien from L.A." This time Nicola Cowper (dressing like a 1980's Cyndi Lauper/Madonna clone) stars in the lead (Kathy has a cameo) doing an "Adventures in Babysitting goes to the Center of the Earth" type of thing. Whatever you liked (or hated) about the first film, be assured there's more here. 1980's punk rock version of Jules Verne's "Journey to the Center of the Earth" can be taken for what it is but the plot at the end is very difficult to follow and ultimately falls apart. I liked the Brady-Bunch-goes-to-Hawaii theme at the beginning but the creeps at the center of the Earth (about 300 feet below the surface actually) were boring if anything at all. Looking like a live-action Saturday morning TV show from the early 1970's (think H.R. Puffenstuff) this is the type of film best watched while doing something else with a bunch of other people. Maybe a better title would be "Is This Still On?"

Pure Garbage

[zorgen12 · 1/10 · 9 June 2020]

This picture is an abomination. When I was 12 I saw a movie named Santa Claus conquers the Martians which I believed to be the worst movie ever made, I was wrong, this movie is 10 times worse. The acting is infantile and ridiculous, after they entered the cave all continuity ended. People dressed in monkey suits suddenly appeared and magically a raygun appeared in the hands of a supporting cast member to fend them off. After that I fast forwarded and only caught pieces of more ridiculous garbage, I refused to let them steal any more of my life. DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE, LIFE IS PRECIOUS. Time would be much better spent cleaning your toenails or picking your teeth.

A cinematic turd set in the bowels of the earth.

[BA_Harrison · 3/10 · 29 August 2015]

Fans of Jules Verne's timeless adventure story should take heed of early signs of impending danger in this train-wreck of a movie and immediately turn back: Journey To The Center Of The Earth '88 is extremely tough going and many pitfalls lie in wait.

The first indication that this is going to be a disastrous expedition into the unknown comes with the introduction of the film's heroine, British nanny Crystina (Nicola Cowper), an unappealing, androgynous looking young woman with a very nasty haircut. Things get worse when Crystina takes a job in Hawaii, looking after a dog for wild rock singer Billy Foul (Jeremy Crutchley), and her path crosses with two irritating, American teenage boys, Richard (Paul Carafotes) and Bryan (Ilan Mitchell-Smith), and their younger sister Sara (Jackie Bernstein). By now, it's perfectly clear that this film bears little resemblance to Verne's novel.

When the kids go exploring volcanic caves on the island, with Crystina following (having had her dog basket put in the back of their jeep by mistake), the group find themselves plunged into a subterranean world where they discover Atlantis, home to a Brazil-style dystopian society of bizarre 80s punk-styled characters.

This charmless mess of a movie was started by writer/director Rusty Lemorande, but when Cannon films refused to cough up the cash for his intended special effects, the film was eventually completed by tacking on material shot by B-movie legend Albert Pyun, whose abysmal Atlantis based footage ostensibly serves as a sequel to his earlier movie Alien From L.A. (which was also loosely based on Verne's classic).

The diabolical, incoherent narrative, cheap sets (complete with polystyrene rocks), and wooden performances from Cowper and Mitchell-Smith make the whole sorry affair difficult to endure. After much aimless Atlantis-based action in which the youngsters (minus Richard, who mysteriously vanishes) try to avoid capture by the villainous General Rykov (Janie du Plessis), who plans to invade the Earth's surface, the film ends abruptly with a completely pointless montage of earlier scenes set to a crappy 80s pop/rock tune.

So bad its good?

[TheLittleSongbird · 5/10 · 13 July 2010]

I guess the answer to my own question is that it is so bad it's good. Fans of the book will probably well and truly dislike this film, but while some of it was like viewing a train wreck, I did find myself moderately enjoying it.

The cast is pretty electric and do their best. They don't have much to work with and the results overall are a mixed bag, plus I admit there were some questionable casting choices initially, but I could actually sort of see some effort. The pacing is pretty good, the direction was at least okay(in some ways) and the film is a good enough length, maybe not long enough to cover the whole story but it wasn't too short or too long in my opinion.

However, I have to admit there are a LOT of problems with this film. The story is incoherent and sometimes hard to follow, while the script has a lot of ups and downs. Complete with some garish cinematography, some amateurish sets and some half-baked special effects. And in case you're wondering, it does bare little resemblance to the book- not that it is a flaw or anything, but in case you love the book and are thinking of seeing this film, I am just warning you in advance it has a number of changes.

Overall, has its moments, but it does have this so bad its good value, so it's watchable but don't expect a masterpiece. 5/10 Bethany Cox

What happened

[BandSAboutMovies · 2/10 · 2 August 2022]

Directed by Rusty Lemorande and Albert Pyun, this is a sequel - of sorts - to Cannon's Alien from L. A., this film suffered as many late Cannon films did due to lowered budgets*. In fact, the pre-production work and storyboards were wasted as the final film bears little resemblance to the script. Lemorande - the producer of Yentl and Captain EO - originally started as the director and stopped when the film was about halfway completed. He claims that he only made eight minutes of this movie.

Actually, he posted a note on IMDB: "I'm the named director of the film. Only the approximately first 8 minutes of the film were written or directed by me. The remainder of the film is actually the sequel to Alien In LA which was tacked on and renamed Journey to the Center of the Earth in order to fulfill contractual commitments by the production company to foreign distributors. The remainder of the footage I shot (my film) has never been seen by the public (and few others) due to the lack of funds at the time to shoot and insert the many special effects shots required. The storyline of my version/script is entirely different from that in the above-titled film (the released version)."

Two years after the filming stopped, Pyun came on and this became a sequel, but he wasn't happy with this movie either and doesn't have his name on many of the re-releases.

Kathy Ireland plays Wanda Saknussemm, is back but the truth is, the footage in this comes from a canceled sequel to Alien from L. A. That may explain why there's a whole different story with Crystina (Nicola Cowper) being in charge of rock star Billy Foul's (Jeremy Crutchley) dog and some young kids taking the dog's basket into a cave to discover a different world, which ends up being Atlantis using the sets from the first movie over again.

Somehow, Pyun made this movie with zero budget and somehow turned out something. I'm not saying that it's good, but it is something. I wonder how Pyun got Emo Philips to even be in this.

*The budget is so low that George S. Clinton's music from Avenging Force and American Ninja 2 gets used as the soundtrack.

In Competion

[bzorn-60234 · 1/10 · 6 July 2021]

Is this film worse than Plan 9 from Outer Space? This mess is probably the Plan 9 of its era. Glad I watched it. It makes me appreciate almost everything else.

Strange tale

[lanechaffin-964-63190 · 3/10 · 11 February 2024]

Sort of like Mole People meet The Grinch meet Nothing But Trouble. This is a very peculiar movie indeed. For one thing, why is it named Journey To The Center of The Earth??? There should be a lawsuit. This movie has nothing in common with the Jules Verne expedition. Why i watched: it sounded intriguing going in a cave and finding Atlantis. However. Atlantis is just not at all what i expected. The lead up to the great discovery is rife with suspense but nothing really happens. It did seem like it went by fast. I was surprised to see the 1:40 run time. Seemed like an hour. It didn't drag, that's one good thing.

Why? Why? Why?

[scotts-19960 · 1/10 · 4 March 2023]

Did someone actually attempt to make a movie worse than The Room? (They didn't succeed, but this came damn close.)

Thanks to some interesting set designs and costumes (well, some of them anyway), this could've actually been worse. Cinematography is okay too.

But...

The acting, writing, directing, editing, music, continuity...! Oh my!

I just had to see this after reading other reviews, but sadly this film's incompetent production is not as humorous as I'd hoped, so it still gets a "1" from me. Note to wannabe B-movie filmmakers - if you're making a terrible movie, make it so very bad we can laugh at it!

' Journey... ' is a fun science-fiction fantasy adventure aimed squarely at teens.

[MorbidMorgan · 10/10 · 2 July 2003]

Rusty Lemorande's ' Journey To The Center Of The Earth ' should not be regarded as a sequel to Albert Pyun's ' Alien From L.A. '. Although released in the same year as that movie ( 1988 ) and utilizing some of the same sets and characters, Lemorande's ' Journey... ' actually pre-dates it, production having begun around 1986. Unfortunately, financial problems apparently halted filming and Pyun was later brought in to make the movie his own, the latter half of the story altered to tie-in with the release of ' Alien.. '.

Loosely based on Jules Verne's classic novel and aimed squarely at a teen audience, ' Journey... ' is a fun science-fiction fantasy adventure that has a likeable young british nanny named Crystina ( Nicola Cowper ) plummet to the center of the earth whilst exploring the volcanic landscape of Hawaii with two young american boys, Richard ( Paul Carafotes ) and Bryan ( Ilan Mitchell-Smith of ' Weird Science ' ).

The first half of the movie belongs to Lemorande and concerns Crystina's arrival in Hawaii and her eventual descent into the center of the earth. The latter half belongs to Pyun and has Crystina wander into ' Alien From L.A.'s ' punk underground world of Atlantis. The first half is the most interesting and showcases some truly amazing special effects. The latter half is less so and is somewhat slapdash in comparison.

I would hope that one day ' Journey... ' will get a release in it's original cut. For snippets of Lemorande's original vision, very different from the final cut and edited into the movie as dream sequences, has Crystina and Richard captured by underground trolls and rescued by comic book fan Bryan! Who knows, maybe an alternate version of the movie will eventually see the light of day on a special edition DVD? It would certainly make interesting viewing.

The budget was $1 and they didn't spend it all

[MrPither1939 · 1/10 · 7 January 2023]

This is one of the worst things to ever be committed to film. It begins with frenzied jumps, back and forth between disconnected scenes and then settles into a long, slow, monotonous, poorly thought out and poorly filmed mess. Just when you think it can't get worse, it does. And then it does again and again.

For some reason, a nanny, thousands of miles from home and carrying some elses dog, isn't even mildly upset that she has to chase down her belongings, then gets stranded with strangers and then falls through a hole in a cave. The whole group seems to have theme park euphoria as they enter the bowels of the earth. Once they reach the center of the earth, the whole thing looks like it was filmed inside a storage facility with a few props just moved around occasionally to make you think they tried.

If you actually enjoy this movie, please see a doctor because something is wrong.

Shockingly bad

[culwin · 3/10 · 21 November 2021]

I actually like "Alien from LA". This "sequel", however, is really bad. They obviously cobbled together some footage from the first movie with just enough new scenes to fill time. Characters randomly disappear and are never seen or talked about again. Kathy Ireland is in it for about 7 seconds - I don't remember if she says 1 or 2 sentences. It barely runs 70 minutes before they pad the ending with clips of the movie you just watched. If you've seen Alien from LA, watch this (once) for the novelty of it, but if you haven't seen that, this will be incomprehensible to you. It might be incomprehensible anyhow.