American Playhouse (TV Series)

Into the Woods (1991)

Chip Zien: Baker

Photos 

Quotes 

• The Baker : [trying to guess what destroyed the witch's garden]  Do you think it was a bear?

  Witch : A bear? No, bears are sweet! Besides, you ever see a bear with forty-foot feet?

  The Bakers Wife : A dragon?

  Witch : No scorch marks. Usually they're linked.

  The Baker : Manticore?

  Witch : Imaginary!

  The Bakers Wife : Gryphon?

  Witch : Extinct.

  The Baker : Giant?

  Witch : [pauses]  Possible. Very, very possible.

• The Baker : It takes care, it takes patience and fear and despair to change. Though you swear to change, who can tell if you do? It takes two.

• The Baker : I'd have kept those beans, but our house was cursed. She made us get a cow to get the curse reversed!

  Witch : It's his father's fault that the curse got placed, and the place got cursed in the first place!

• Witch : My mother warned me that I'd be severely punished if I were to lose any of the beans!

  The Bakers Wife , The Baker : Beans?

  Witch : The special beans! I let him go, I didn't know he'd stolen my beans! I was watching him crawl back over the wall when BANG! CRASH! The lighting flashed! And... well, that's another story, nevermind.

• Steward : We must be gone if we're to arrive before nightfall.

  The Baker : Where are you going?

  Lucinda : We're off to a hidden kingdom.

  Cinderella's Stepmother : Shhh. We can't take everyone.

  Witch : Fools! There is nowhere to hide!

  The Baker : You'll never get there. We have to stay and find our way out of this together.

  Cinderella's Stepmother : Some people are cut out to battle Giants, and others are not. I don't have the constitution. And as long as I can be of no help, I'm going to hide. Everything will work out fine in the end.

  [Cinderella's father, stepmother, stepsisters and the steward exit] 

  Little Red Riding Hood : I hope the giant steps on them all.

  The Bakers Wife : You shouldn't say that!

  Witch : You were thinking the same thing.

• [upon seeing his wife in the woods, after he has forbidden it] 

  The Baker : What are you doing here now?

  The Bakers Wife : [ignoring him]  I see you've the red cape!

  The Baker : Yes! Yes, I've the cape! I've only two items left to locate!

  The Bakers Wife : Three!

  The Baker : Two! I've the cow and the cape!

  The Bakers Wife : [triumphantly]  You've the cape!

  [her smile fades, as she has lost the cow...] 

• The Baker , The Bakers Wife , Cinderella's Mother , Florinda , Lucinda , Jack , Jack's Mother : Wishes may bring problems, such that you regret them, better that though than to never get them.

• The Baker : If you know / What you need / Then you go / And you find it / And you take it... Do I want a child or not? It's a cloak / What's a cloak / It's a joke / It's a stupid little cloak / And a cloak is what you make it / So you take it / Things are only what you need them for / What's important is who needs them more.