- Bob the Turk: I warn you, do not make me do something that I would not do, unless someone made me do it because they didn't do something someone told them to do.
- Gus Cardinale: Don't worry Bob, I would never do something to make someone do something to someone, because that someone didn't do something that someone wanted them to do.
- Bob the Turk: I'm glad we understand each other.
- Gus Cardinale: ...Me too.
- June Daley: [about the ring] It's in my safety deposit box.
- Gus Cardinale: Good, then we'll go get it.
- June Daley: The bank's closed.
- Gus Cardinale: We'll get it tomorrow.
- June Daley: Tomorrow's Saturday, the bank's closed tomorrow.
- Gus Cardinale: Banks are OPEN on Saturdays!
- June Daley: Not this one. We can get it Monday.
- Gus Cardinale: Monday I'll be in jail!
- Bob the Turk: Who do you think has it?
- Gus Cardinale: Um, Elvis?
- Turk #2: We checked, he has an alibi.
- Francis Mahoney: [to himself after Benjy has been escorted out of his office and the door closed] Fry in hell, you stoolie scum.
- Benjy Klopzik: [from outside] My pleasure, sir.
- Gatou Vardebedian: [holding Gus and June at gunpoint] Now give me the ring... or I will blow my father's brains out!
- Gatou Vardebedian: [pointing a gun up Bruno's nose] Give it to me... or I will make myself an orphan!
- Gus Cardinale: Bruno, that's the stupidest idea I've ever heard.
- Bruno: Don't worry, there's plenty of more where that came from...
- [Gus Cardinale is hanging in a wire outside a skyscraper when two CIA agents appear at the roof]
- Zachary: Hey, don't try anything stupid down there.
- Gus Cardinale: What could be fucking stupider than this?
- June Daley: [They come face to face after separately but simultaneously searching the apartment for the ring] What did you do to my living room?
- Bruno: The same thing you did to your bedroom.
- Gus Cardinale: [about the ring] I wonder what we could get for it.
- June Daley: Oh, 20 years, killed, hunted like deer.
- Freedly: [about Gus' real name] Rene? Augustine? Those are girls' names, aren't they?
- Gus Cardinale: Not in Switzerland.
- [repeated line]
- Gatou Vardebedian: Long live the new Armenian Liberation Party!
- [makes crooked little finger sign]
- Gus Cardinale: Bruno, I'm sorry for everything mankind has ever done to you!
- Bruno: That's all right... I'm sure they didn't mean it.
- Francis Mahoney: So... Benjy Klopzik.
- Benjy Klopzik: Good afternoon, Chief Inspector.
- Francis Mahoney: Fry in hell, Klopzik.
- Benjy Klopzik: My pleasure, Sir.
- June Daley: [final lines]
- [with Gus and Bruno, to the assistant in the Paris jewelry store]
- June Daley: Oh... we'll be back.