- Warren Beatty: [after Madonna declines to talk to her doctor off-camera] She doesn't want to live off-camera, much less talk. There's nothing to say off-camera. Why would you say something if it's off-camera? What point is there existing?
- Madonna: [after learning Toronto police will arrest her if she simulates masturbation on-stage] Last time I was on tour, Sean was in jail. I guess it's my turn.
- Donna DeLory: Madonna, truth or dare?
- Madonna: Truth.
- Donna DeLory: Who has been the love of your life, in your whole life?
- Madonna: My whole life? Sean. Sean.
- Kevin Costner: Thanks for having us. It was really generous.
- Madonna: Thanks for coming.
- Kevin Costner: We thought it was "neat".
- Madonna: "Neat"?
- Kevin Costner: Really neat.
- Madonna: No one's ever described it as that.
- Kevin Costner: Have fun. We won't be making that other deal.
- Madonna: Not neat enough for you?
- Madonna: [praying with her dancers before a concert] We're dedicating tonight's performance to Keith Haring, who doesn't have the luxury of being alive like we do.
- [Complaining after her microphones dysfunction on stage]
- Madonna: Somebody sent some big fat man up in the front to give me dirty looks all night.
- Madonna: So what is considered masturbation?
- Christopher Ciccone: When you stick your hand in your crotch.
- Madonna: We shouldn't have any more sex. You should build an altar for me in home and worship it daily, and you call me collect!
- Madonna: [voiceover, as Madonna visits her mother's grave] What I remember most about her was that she was - she was very kind and very gentle and very feminine. I don't know, I guess she seemed like an angel to me, but I suppose everybody thinks their mother's an angel when they're five. I also know she was really religious, so I never really understood why she was taken away from us. It seemed so unfair. I never thought that she had done something wrong, so oftentimes I wondered what I had done wrong.
- Madonna: [makeup artist is trying to apply makeup to Madonna's lips during a tirade] Do something else! Do my eyebrows!
- Gay pride protesters: We're here! We're queer! Get used to it!
- Madonna: I wouldn't live in Chicago cause it's too conservative, aside for the fact that Oprah Winfrey lives there.
- Madonna: I know I'm not the best singer and I know I'm not the best dancer, but I'm not interested in that. I'm interested in pushing people's buttons, in being provocative and in being political.
- Madonna: It's pretty racy. I don't know if you could take it two nights.
- Silvio Ciccone: Oh, you had to get racy on me, huh?
- Madonna: Dad, I'm not getting racy. I've been racy.
- Silvio Ciccone: Well, can't you tone it down a bit?
- Madonna: For you? No, because that would be compromising my artistic integrity.
- Silvio Ciccone: Of course.
- [pause]
- Silvio Ciccone: Do you undress in this performance?
- Madonna: No! Of course I don't.