Noises Off... (1992)

Mark Linn-Baker: Tim Allgood

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lloyd : And God said, "Where the Hell is Tim?" And there the Hell was Tim. And God said, "Let there be doors that open when they open, and close when they close."

  Tim : Do something?

  Lloyd : Doors!

  Tim : I was getting the bananas for the sardines.

  Lloyd : DOORS!

  Tim : Doors?

  Lloyd : I bet God had a stage manager who understood English, too!

• [Tim has had to go on for Freddy] 

  Dotty : Who the hell are you?

  Tim : [bad British accent]  I'm Phillip.

  Dotty : What happened to you?

• [everyone except Poppy and Tim are on-stage and have no idea where they are or what to do now] 

  Lloyd : I've got to get the 8:40 to New York!

  Poppy : [Lloyd opens the door to find Poppy wrapped in sheets, playing Freddy's part]  Ah! House of heavenly peace! I rent it.

  Dotty : Oh! It's the other one! And in her wedding dress.

  Belinda : Yes, yes, it's their wedding day!

  All : Oh!

  Belinda : What a happy ending... to the... to the first act!... Of their new life together! And they just want to be alone in their new home... if only someone would pull the shades!

  [Indicates that the curtain should come down] 

  Tim : [Tim enters in the black sheets, prepared to play Brooke's part]  Come in?

  Dotty : Oh, and it's the mother of the bride.

  Tim : Go out?

  All : Pull the shades!

  [Tim runs out to lower the curtain] 

  Selsdon : Last line?

  All : Last line!

  Selsdon : I'll tell you one thing, Vicky.

  All : [Dotty slaps Vicky, who loses a contact lens and goes looking for it]  What's that, Dad?

  Selsdon : When all around is strife and uncertainty, there's nothing like an old fashioned plate of, uh... curtain!

• Lloyd , Tim , Selsdon : When I think, I used to do banks. When I remember, I used to do boullion vaults.