Surf Ninjas (1993)

Rob Schneider: Iggy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Zatch : Something not even money can buy: the knives of Kwantsu.

  Iggy : Knives? Oh yeah, seriously. That's something money can't buy. Knives. Once I went to a cutlery store and said 'Here's $100,000, can I buy a knife?' They said, 'NO. Money can't buy knives.' Gee, I guess that's why you hardly ever see any of 'em around.

  [Later] 

  Iggy : On the third day of the expedition they came across a giant rubber plant. Unfortunately, they could not cut it down, for as we know, money can't buy knives. Walking around the plant, they continued on the shores of Patusan.

  Zatch : Is there no way we can shut this chattering monkey up?

  Lt. Spence : You know, I'd cut him. But, I don't have a knife.

• Johnny : [Johnny and Adam are about to surf the waves]  Wooo, the waves our pumpin...

  Iggy : Go.

  Johnny : What, you're not coming with us?

  Iggy : I'll be there in a minute, I just gotta wax the old "Man to wave friction reducing vehicle".

  [Johnny and Adam stare at him with pause] 

  Iggy : ... Surfboard!

  Johnny : Oh, so we'll see you after, Right?

  Iggy : Sure, gotta put some wax on so I dont slip off, need a lotta wax.

  Johnny : [Afterwards]  Whoa, I think I fully dinged my board on a rock or somethin...

  [Iggy starts walking towards the water] 

  Johnny : ... Bro we're leaving!

  Iggy : What, now? Awww c'mon, I had some moves in me too!

  Johnny : [Under his Breath]  Yeah right, you never surfed a day in your Life.

  Iggy : Look, tommorow we start off early, o.k.?

• Adam : You know what they say - Chick's got a veil, dude better bail.

  Johnny : If she covers her face, pick up the pace.

  Iggy : She's afraid to show it. She's... probably not very attractive.

• Iggy : All right, Kids, come in here and Clean up Yer Bloody Room! I know well, cuz I'm 37, and don't make Me beat You with Leg of Mine that no longer Works cuz I'll do it!

• Adam : [after leaving the raid at their house]  So... when can we go back home?

  Zatch : Your home is Patusan.

  Johnny : No! Our home, was that house, back on Ocean Park.

  Iggy : Whoa, guys I don't think you really wanna go back there. I mean, our Buddy Long John Silver here left the GAS running in the House, real Bright! I mean, what if the house blows up...

  [a big Explosion happens in the background] 

  Iggy : ...WHOA!

  Adam : [Stunned]  Our home!

  Johnny : [Stunned also]  He... blew up our home!

  Zatch : [Regretably]  I had no choice, and now you have no choice but to come with me, it's your Destiny.

  Johnny : [Starts attacking Zatch]  You had no choice... You had no CHOICE? Your INSANE!

  Adam : [Helping Johnny]  Get your rotten hands off my Brother!

  Zatch : Stay calm your highnesses, you must know that there is no turning back!

  Iggy : I can't believe... that I just DID that, I am Responsible for the Destruction of my best friends personal property!

  Johnny : What are you talking about Iggy, you didn't do anything.

  Iggy : I did too! Something happened, I don't know what it is, but now every time I say WHAT IF about something it comes true, and back there I said "What if the the house blows up", and it blew up!

  [Convinced that He has Special Powers] 

  Iggy : Wow, I have this tremendous responsibility! What if I lose this power?

  [Realization hits] 

  Iggy : Oh no, I just what if I lose this power! Damn it, I had it, then I lost it!

  Zatch : [Annoyed by Iggy]  But what of THIS one, the Commoner?

  Adam : Why don't you just blow HIM up!

• Johnny : While in Patusan, guests of The Revolution stay at the Mecrob Hilton.

  Iggy : That's the Mecrob Hilton. Serving strange things and shells since 1207.

• Iggy : [Walking across a hill]  Woah, this trail is massively narrow. What if somebody fell?

  [Lt. Spence and Adam suddenly fall down the hill] 

  Iggy : What if I said "I'm sorry"!

• Iggy : ...because as we all know, money can't buy knives.

• Iggy : What if I lose this power?

  [realization hits] 

  Iggy : Oh my gosh... I just said "What if I lose this power?"

• Adam : [shouts as he stands up in the moving vehicle]  Motosurf!

  Iggy : Motosurf!

  Johnny : Motosurf!

• Iggy : [after Zatch helped Johnny, Adam, and Iggy escape from the raid at the food hut]  I just want you to know, that I felt completely safe in your arms, and I never said that to a man before.

• Zatch : They have taken him.

  Adam : Woah! How'd he do that?

  Iggy : Like this: They have taken him.

• Adam : Say, Johnny, what if what that Zatch guy said was true? I mean, about Your Destiny to become a Warrior, and Mine to be a Seeker...

  [Iggy interupts from behind the couch holding a Playboy Magazine] 

  Iggy : ...and don't forget, I'm the King, seriously, you guys couldn't of missed these Magazines, there is a whole stack of em underneath Your Bed...

  Johnny : Iggy, you can't be the King of Patusan.

  [Iggy looks at Him Discouragingly] 

  Johnny : You're not Asian.

  Iggy : Hey, two words for you; David Carradine, and Kung Fu.

• Mac : [Johnny and Mac are in Shock for a moment as the camera angle focuses on a hand holding a kitchen knife]  I'd put that knife down if I were you!

  [the Camera Angle starts pointing up revealing Iggy's Face] 

  Iggy : Seriously, if you don't want chives, I wont put em in.

  Johnny : Well, I want chives bro.

  Mac : Iggy, you're here every day, and every night, don't your Parents wonder where you've been?

  Iggy : Mr. MC.Quinn, My Parents are locked up in a Bio-Screen in Arizona, Pimento?

  Mac : Huh?

  Iggy : ...It's like a little Tomato. Yes, Bio-Screen, lots of plants n animals, no one else allowed in anywhere around them. look, for it to be hard for me to explain it to a layman, like Yourself.

  Mac : Iggy, You know what you need, is a professional listener.

  Johnny : He visits the School shrink every day.

  Mac : Not helping, and don't your parents ever feed ya, and don't they ever provide you with enough clothing besides MY BOXER SHORTS!

  Iggy : [Looks down at the Shorts He's wearing]  These are yours?

  Mac : YES!