Martin Short: Stubbs the Clown
Quotes
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Professor Screweyes : Hey Stubbs! Where do you think you're goin'? Get back here!
Stubbs the Clown : Oh, I forgot to tell ya... I QUIT! I quit! Ha! I resign! Are you gettin' this completely in your ear? I am PROFOUNDLY outta here! And this ain't about money. I ain't even complaining about my dry cleaning bill. But hang around with elephants all day and try to keep YOUR clothes clean!
[audience laughs]
Stubbs the Clown : But that's not the point. The point is, I quit. Quittski! Over-and-outski! That's all she wrote! KEEP MY LAST CHECK, BUDDY!
[hands each item to Screweyes as he mentions it]
Stubbs the Clown : Here's my shoes, my nose, my horn, my buzzer, my fake arm, my bug-eye glasses, my backstage passes, my hat, my rabbit, HIS backstage passes, my fake fangs, a few birds, my pogo stick, my donkey ears, my extending tounge gag, my rubber chicken; Ya can't even get these anymore; my lucky whale tooth, and a giant clam that opens to reveal the American flag held by a mermaid and her normal brother, Richard!
[audience laughing]
Stubbs the Clown : SO LONG! Oh, and by the way, in case you're wondering why I'm talking and they're laughing, let me explain it to ya...
Stubbs the Clown : [Screams] THAT'S! COMEDY!
