Bullets Over Broadway (1994)

Rob Reiner: Sheldon Flender

Quotes 

• Sheldon Flender : You, you, you're all missing the point, the point is I can give pleasure many times a day!

  Rita : Oh, now, really Flender, what does quantity got to do with it?

  Sheldon Flender : Quantity, quantity affects quality!

  David Shayne : Says who?

  Sheldon Flender : Karl Marx!

  Rita : Oh, so now we're talking economics.

  Sheldon Flender : Sex is economics!

• Sheldon Flender : [bragging]  I have never had a play produced. That's right. And I've written one play a year for the past twenty years.

  David Shayne : Yes, but that's because you're a genius. And the proof is that both common people and intellectuals find your work completely incoherent. Means you're a genius.

• David Shayne : I've become involved with Helen Sinclair, and I feel terrible. But I can't help myself. She's so charismatic, and she's brilliant and beautiful. I mean, a real artist, and, and we speak the same language.

  Sheldon Flender : You're wracked with guilt.

  David Shayne : I'm wracked with guilt.

  Sheldon Flender : You're wracked with guilt. You are wracked with guilt.

  David Shayne : I don't know whether... I can't sleep.

  Sheldon Flender : Guilt is petit-bourgeois crap. An artist creates his own moral universe.

  David Shayne : I know that. I know...

  Sheldon Flender : Well? What is the problem then? I'm gonna give you some advice. The same advice that was given to me many years ago when I had a very similar dilemma.

  David Shayne : Similar to mine. To...

  Sheldon Flender : Yes. Yes.

  David Shayne : What did you do? What?

  Sheldon Flender : You gotta do what you gotta do.

• Sheldon Flender : Let's say there was a burning building and you could rush in and you could save only one thing: either the last known copy of Shakespeare's plays or some anonymous human being. What would you do?

• Sheldon Flender : You are racked with guilt.

  David Shayne : I can't sleep.

  Sheldon Flender : Guilt is petty bourgeois crap. An artist creates his own moral universe.

• Sheldon Flender : Hey, look who's here. The big Broadway success. I don't write hits. My plays are art. They're written specifically to go unproduced.