Don't Drink the Water (1994 TV Movie) User Reviews

Interesting resurrection of successful Cold War Broadway farce

[eschetic-2 · 6/10 · 23 December 2010]

More faithful in tone and probably in detail to Woody Allen's successful 1966 Broadway farce (589 performances from 17 Nov. 66 to 20 April 68 at the Morosco, Barrymore and Belasco Theatres) than the successful but now badly dated 11 Nov. 1969 film, this made for TV movie suffers from a rather unrelenting craziness of pacing that worked better on stage than in the intimacy of the small screen.

Woody Allen's nebishy lines fall naturally from his own lips, but lacking the distance or the simply larger body Stanley Prager had to work with when directing Lou Jacobi as the naive Newark caterer who is accused of spying while innocently taking vacation pictures while on vacation in an unidentified Eastern European country on Broadway - or Howard Morris had when directing Jackie Gleason in the coarsened role in the 1969 film - Allen comes across less sympathetic and more blindly hysterical.

Nevertheless, Michael J. Fox (who had already been BACK TO THE FUTURE in his successful trilogy but was still a couple years from his last successful sitcom, SPIN CITY) as the disaster prone son of the ambassador who grants the family asylum balances the hysterical performance of the author nicely, as do TV favorites Julie Kavner (TRACEY ULLMAN and THE SIMPSONS) as Allen's wife and Mayim Bialik (BLOSSOM and THE BIG BANG THEORY) as his daughter and Fox's inevitable love interest.

Since the Cold War was essentially over by the time this picture was made, it remained a nostalgic picture of an earlier era told in farce form with comfortable narration from the late great announcer Ed Herlihy to remind us of the context (Americans believed innocent tourists were picked up on the slightest pretext to "trade" for captured Soviet spies after a few well publicized "spy trades").

Written at a time before the Middle East blew up, the visit of an unidentified emir and his harem (that the US wants to cater to for good relations - OIL hadn't seriously entered the picture yet) is played, along with an Orthodox priest who's been in asylum in an apartment on an upper floor of the embassy for six years and counting (an idea which horrifies the Allen character who can't bear the elevated menu at the embassy and can't understand why they can't send out for Chinese) as minor plot contrivances.

If this sort of old fashioned humor isn't your cup of tea, DON'T DRINK THE WATER may not go down too easily, but as an honest souvenir of Cold War humor and the transition period between Woody Allen's stand-up beginnings and his later serious films, it's well worth a look for any serious student of film or Allen. If you can take the stage farce pacing, it will even provide a fair share of honest laughs - more than the '69 film in any case.

"Isolated in the Embassy" situations have been grist for the comedy mills for years - although it's been a while since we've had a new one. Billy Wilder's 1961 ONE TWO THREE (based on a Ferenc Molnar play, "Egy, kettö, három") where a hard charging Jimmy Cagney tried to deal with the love and marriage of a runaway daughter of an Atlanta Coca Cola executive for a passionate East German worker while Berlin was still divided, or Art Buchwald's sadly unfilmed 1970 play SHEEP ON THE RUNWAY which satirized the havoc a right wing columnist like Joseph Alsop could cause in a front line embassy were probably better structured and hold up better than the early Allen play, but they all came from essentially the same well. All worth a look for nostalgia and more.

I never knew this 1994 version existed

[AlsExGal · 7/10 · 3 January 2023]

Evidently, Woody Allen didn't like the original film of his script, so decided to star himself for a tv remake. It's the same story, but with a completely different look and 'feel'. Instead of an embassy in the middle of nowhere, this is more realistic--lots of people work there, and it is elegantly furnished. Allen is his usual frantic self, sometimes overshadowing every other character.

Michael J. Fox seems a bit miscast as the loser son of a diplomat in charge, and there isn't enough for Julie Kavner, as Allen's wife, to do but Dom DeLuise expands on the magician/monk role. It's really more of a filmed play, as all the action takes place in the embassy (no final chase scenes, no hotel scenes). This version is sillier, quicker than the original, andI actually like them both, but this one will appeal more to Allen fans.

Woody Allen plays a Newark caterer with a gun .... lots of laughs ..

[merklekranz · 6/10 · 24 February 2010]

This little known TV movie is really a bit of nostalgia for those Woody Allen fans who yearn for the good old days, and a 1970s Woody type performance. Like a train pulling out of the station, "Don't drink the Water" gets funnier as it goes along. The casting is good, with Dom DeLuise a standout as a magician, without any tricks that work. Woody is in top form, playing a character much like he did in "Take the Money and Run", or "Bananas". My only fault is the unsteady camera which at times is enough to cause dizzy spells, and the claustrophobic feel of the movie, since really this is a filmed play. What you get is a 1994 version of a 1970s Woody Allen performance. Expect lots of one liners, some of which don't always work, but plenty are hilarious, and that's all that matters. - MERK

It's TV, but good anyway

[evans-3 · 7 July 1999]

For those who are familiar with Allen's work, this TV adaptation of the play will be no surprise: it's funny, well-timed and far superior to the miserable Jackie Gleason version (done before Woody had the clout to insist on filming it himself). TV regulars Michael J. Fox and Mayim Bialik play to their strengths (although I would have preferred Cusack and Danes, or other Woody regulars - I can't imagine these two were his first choice), and Allen and Kavner pick up where Oedipus Wrecks lets off. Not fantastic, but what do you want? It's TV.

Woody Allen for the masses

[FlickJunkie-2 · 6/10 · 3 December 2000]

This 1994 TV movie released to video in late 2000 tells an inane tale of a Jewish American family that, while vacationing in Russia, is mistaken for a ring of spies during the height of the cold war in the 1960's. This is the story of their exploits as they are holed up in the American Embassy waiting for their chance to return to the U.S.

The story was written and directed by Woody Allen, who is one of the most accomplished auteurs in the history of film. It is clear that Allen purposely dumbed this screenplay down for TV. Instead of his trademark cerebral humor that cuts like a scalpel, he uses a machine gun approach, hitting the viewer with a fusillade of lowbrow jokes and slapstick gags. The humor ranges from insipid silliness to standard sitcom fare with occasional intellectual ironies thrown in for his devoted fans. Though most of it is infantile, the sheer volume of material (literally five to ten jokes and gags a minute) insures that something will tickle you every couple of minutes.

The cast is rich with accomplished comedic talent. Michael J. Fox plays the son of an ambassador who is a hapless diplomat in training. His frenetic and tortured style of comedy is perfect for this role. Dom DeLuise adds his wacky brand of humor as a priest who has been in hiding in the embassy for six years and is trying to learn to be an amateur magician. For him, the extra inhabitants of the embassy represent a captive audience on whom he can inflict one botched magic trick after another. Julie Kavner brings her whiny New York accent and her wonderful sense of sarcastic timing to play off Woody Allen's inimitably overwrought caricature of himself. Kavner is a refreshing change for Allen. We are used to seeing him across from flaky wimps played by Diane Keaton and Mia Farrow. The use of the bluntly badgering Kavner added significant energy to his performance. The cast is rounded out by Mayim Bialik (TV's, Blossom) who was decent, but not great as the Jewish American Princess in captivity.

Overall, this was a good comedy that was significantly below Woody Allen's standard. There are plenty of funny lines, but it is a much too farcical. I rated it a 6/10. If you enjoy Woody Allen's normal introspective and intellectual humor, this might be a disappointment.

One of Woody Allen's least-seen films; surprisingly funny

[gridoon2024 · 7/10 · 7 January 2015]

"Don't Drink The Water!" is not a comedy classic, it suffers from some staginess (which is to be expected, being based on a stage play and all), and some comic ideas don't come off at all (like the guy who gets hit on the head with a brick and starts thinking he is two people). But if you have a preference, as many do, for Woody Allen's "early, funny films" (personally, I can find things to appreciate in all of his career phases), this later one is probably as close as you're gonna get to them. Limiting his usual philosophizing about life, death, God and the universe to a bare minimum (though he still comes up with one of his simplest but wisest insights about the universe: "it's a rough place, but if you have someone to share it with, it gets easier"), Woody basically concentrates on firing off one-liners at such a rapid-fire speed that you may have to watch the film a second time to catch them all. And his great lines in this film are too numerous to count ("I heard, he has an idea. You'll find me at the fallout shelter"!). Julie Kavner is one of the most compatible female screen partners for Woody, and there is genuine sweetness in the budding romance between Michael J. Fox and Mayim Bialik; Dom De Luise's contributions are more a matter of taste. *** out of 4.

Return to Origins

[ricardojorgeramalho · 6/10 · 8 June 2023]

Written in 1966 for the theater and adapted to the cinema in 1969 by third parties, without great success, Don't Drink the Water is a stand-alone work in Allen's career. Even when finally adapted, directed and performed by the author, in this 1994 version, it was produced for television and not for cinema.

The sense of humor is typical of Woody Allen and the work is, without a doubt, amusing. The problem is that we are dealing with the humor of 1966 Woody Allen. It is much closer to What's New Pussycat? Or Take the Money and Run than anything Allen wrote and performed after 1975. It's fun but lacks depth. It is a farce, not an ironic reflection on life and the human condition.

It's just entertainment.

Annoying - very annoying

[duraflex · 3/10 · 5 September 2008]

As a big Michael J. Fox fan, this film was a major disappointment. Seeing him portray an inept ambassador was distressing. Seeing Edward Hermann as a buffoon, again disappointing.

Woody Allen is more neurotic, obnoxious and generally less funny than in many of his other films. This is not one of his best efforts by far.

Julie Kavner's voice (Marge Simpson) is annoying beyond words.

Mayim Bialik's character is without any special appeal.

The premise of the film is an interesting one but it does not play out well.

If I was running that embassy, I would have simply turned the Hollander family over to the Russians. A few hours with this bunch and they would be deporting them - problem solved.

Lackluster Woody Allen comedy

[Billiam-4 · 6/10 · 25 August 2021]

Lackluster Woody Allen comedy made for TV comes with good cast and all the typical ingredients one would expect from this director, but it's all quite haphazard and, strangely, not funny at all.

Curiosity piece

[majikstl · 5/10 · 9 July 2001]

This oddity is of interest mainly as a curiosity piece -- a chance to see one of Woody's first attempts at writing a play come to life under his guidance. But the subject, Cold War satire, seems dated and the project has the feel of a low-budget sit-com pilot. Woody and Julie Kavner come off best as the bickering American couple and the rest of the cast try hard with material that seems desperate and tired. Ultimately this is a slight and only mildly amusing piece of fluff.

A minor gem

[chriswgallagher · 10/10 · 24 December 2001]

Who but Woody Allen would have a character become delusional as BOTH Wright brothers?Fine performances all around ,with Dom DeLuise giving a great turn as priest/would-be magician in hiding.Infinitely superior to the 1969 film with Gleason.A minor gem from All

this film is an unqualified disaster...

[jasonrenzi · 1/10 · 8 January 2006]

let this be said at the outset...i feel quite strongly that i'm fully justified and totally willing to argue the point that woody allen is a genius. without question. but even the genius of Shakespeare failed him on occasion (see 'king john' if you require proof) this is an instance where allen's genius stepped out for a coffee leaving him alone to desperately struggle with this horrid piece of work. the characters are wooden and stale (dom deluise), the dialogue is strained and clichéd, the acting is surprisingly atrocious. usually one can count on at least allen himself delivering a strong performance, but alas, this does not occur here. julie kavner, who was absolutely brilliant in radio days, fails to shine in this context. mayim bialik is perfunctory, and michael j. fox is overly exuberant, marring his performance with too much ham. avoid this film if you can, especially if you wish to remain convinced of allen's infallibility. it is my opinion that this it is his worst effort.

a really funny film

[liz_levine · 24 September 2000]

I have been recommending this movie to friends for ages, not knowing that they had no possible way of actually seeing it since for some reason it never came out on video. The earlier version (with Jackie Gleason leading the cast) is a poor substitute. It has some of the same jokes, but none of the wit. It also does not have the SOUNDTRACK which in the 1994 made-for-TV-version was a sublime showcase for some very hot Bulgarian tunes. (I am a folk dancer, so I know my Bulgarian music!) The Gleason version gets air time ten-twelve times a year on cable and regular TV, but the 1994 version does not. It may have been made for TV, but seemingly it never comes back to the TV. I know because I have been reading the TV guide every week for a year now looking for this movie(!)

Don't Drink the Water

[oOoBarracuda · 4/10 · 19 July 2017]

You have no idea how much it pains me to allege that Woody Allen has such a poorly directed film attributed to him, but, that is exactly what one can expect from Don't Drink the Water. The plot is listless, the camera constantly feels miles away from its subject and the film itself drags which is quite a feat when it's only 90 minutes. I know, it was only a television film but Woody is such a master I still expected more. I did enjoy the many nods to the Marx Brothers, and will always enjoy seeing Woody Allen in one of his films.

can't please everybody

[knifeintheeye · 9/10 · 17 April 2005]

I LOVE THIS MOVIE. The story involves visiting American smucks in the old communist Russia. A picture is snapped in the wrong spot and the KGB assumes the family are spys. They take up residence in an American embassy and need asylum. Love blossoms and tempers soar--an old fashioned screwball comedy. I know some people say it's not one of Woody's best...and it isn't. It isn't even close to the top of that list. But...I laugh my tush off with this movie. Alex Keaton and Blossom are great. Woody Allen is, well, Woody Allen. It is nothing but a popcorn movie. Flawed? Yes. It is very funny though and a great mid level Woody movie in the same vein as "Take the money and Run'--but with a plot. Watch it, enjoy it, laugh.

Just annoying

[msdsc · 2/10 · 9 October 2016]

Let's get one thing straight right off the bat: I LOVE WOODY ALLEN MOVIES. So, I think that gives my review at least some credence.

Now, about this film: I feel that it wasted my time. There was virtually nothing redeeming about the movie. The acting was almost uniformly disappointing. It has an all-star cast but Woody managed to make them look like amateurs.

The love interest – Michael J. Fox and Mayim Bialik – is completely unconvincing. Fox never once shows any real attraction. In fact, it feels more like he's trying to avoid her than to get together. And, though Bialik is well cast in that she looks like she could be the daughter of Woody and Julie, she's entirely miscast as a love foil for Fox; they look like an unlikely couple.

Surprisingly, there was one scene, where Woody and his wife (Julie Kavner) connect – she starts to cry and he attempts to comfort her – in which there was a poignancy which I felt, and which allowed the jokes to really penetrate. Other than that, I think Woody took what could have been a terrific farce (in the positive sense) and turned it into a real farce.

ABSOLUTELY PERFECT

[KatMiss · 10/10 · 10 August 2001]

Woody Allen's 1994 remake of "Don't Drink the Water" is an absolutely perfect comedy. This film was made 25 years after the awful 1969 original was made and watching both back to back, it is quite a revelation.

I really hated the previous film, which starred Jackie Gleason. It made the deadly mistake of taking the premise too seriously. Silly comedies are not supposed to be taken seriously! Also, the 1969 film added about 19 minutes of filler that wasn't in the original play.

Allen's film begins with the family already in the American embassy. The crime: Woody Allen takes a picture of a landmark in an Iron Curtain country and is mistaken for a spy. I won't reveal anymore of the story because it is so dependent on surprise.

Everything works in this version. Allen himself stars in the Gleason role and his neurotic personality is a much better fit for the character. Julie Kavner plays his wife and has a much better part than Estelle Parsons did in the first film. The wife is NOT an annoying airhead, but a strongwilled woman and that is welcome. Michael J. Fox is the politican who tries to save the family and he is wonderful in the role. Dom DeLuise is cast as a lunatic priest who wants to be a magician.

Allen's script is funny because it is tongue in cheek. It plays on the standard conventions of hostage picures. Also, Allen likes to play with the plot in interesting ways and take all sorts of unexpected twists and turns. In his best films ("Purple Rose of Cairo", "Sleeper", "Small Time Crooks", "Zelig" to name a few), that is why they're so good.

Now on video after a long battle over rights, "Don't Drink the Water" is everything the original wanted to be but wasn't: a hilarious comic masterpiece. Rent or buy this version now. The 1969 version isn't on video anymore and hopefully it will stay that way.

**** out of 4 stars

I drunk the water, I'm still thirsty...

[ElMaruecan82 · 5/10 · 28 November 2020]

Even as a TV movie, "Don't Drink the Water" still moves below the usual standards of a Woody Allen film though it contains enough laughs not to completely dismiss it.

The film was released the same year of his more successful "Bullets Over Broadway", a period comedy that earned him his second nomination for Best Director and I guess he didn't invest much energy on that one. He made a TV version of the very play he wrote in 1966 and whose film adaptation with Jackie Gleason and Estelle Parsons didn't please him, I didn't see the original but I doubt this one is much of an improvement.

It's a pity because the film benefits from a good cast, a script that has proven itself successful, but I guess the stage makes confusion and chaos somewhat more acceptable than the screen. It's not that the plot was confusing but there were many moments where I just felt the embassy was overcrowded and I felt more relief during these little quiet moments between Michael J. Fox and Mayim Balik and one cute tender interaction between Allen and Julie Kavner who do have an interesting marital chemistry.

The plot revolves around a family of American tourist, the Hollanders, who seek refuge in an American Embassy somewhere in the other side of the Iron Curtain, after being suspected as spies, we're at the midst of the Cold War the same year than the missile crisis. The introduction presents the context and the key characters especially Axel McGee (Fox), a well-meaning young man but with the reputation of a blubbering idiot. That's one of the film's first flaws as we have no real proof of his incompetence and Fox is such a likable actor that we can't label him as an imbecile even if that's a script requirement.

But once each player is introduced, the Hollanders such a spectacular intrusion that there was no room for anything else. They literally sucked out the comedic potential off everything and were so annoying that I was wondering whether the plot wouldn't have been more interesting had they been captured by the Russians or whoever they were. The film overplays the fish out of water element by throwing subplots such as the foreign food (the chef seems incapable to cook normal meals) or the romance that interferes with the parent's plans, Dom De Luise is a funny priest who indulges in lame magic tricks that fail and the entrance of a sheik with a cohort of black-clad wives inspire a few dated jokes, leading to an escape trick we could see coming even if we were wearing their veils.

I don't mind Woody Allen playing his old shtick in movies but it's made at the expenses of a plot that doesn't leave much room to political satire, maybe the material was too dated and screwball comedy doesn't exactly work with the format of 90s TV. There's energy in the film, especially with that clarinet tune that sounds as if Bernard Herrmann played a Yidish version of the Wicked Witch theme and from the tune, I was expecting something modest but exceptional. I feel guilty to reject a film that tries its best to entertain through the reactions of an ordinary American family caught in the middle of a political crisis they don't care about, but politics are such a tricky but interesting subject that it's unfortunate that the film only indulge in gags that are too benign even by 60s standards.

"Don't Drink the Water" (whatever the title means) is one of these small mistakes a director of Allen's caliber can make, we see it out of curiosity and we reject it out of frustration.

A must see smart, hilarious, must see comedy

[The_Humiliated_Grapes · 24 June 2006]

Don't drink the water is a rarely recognized masterpiece by Woody Allen. Filled with unforgettable characters and a fabulous script, this film is a must see for any comedy loving person. In my opinion, the best characters were Mr and Mrs Hollander. Michael J. Fox also delivers with wit and charm. There is a tricky priest, a paranoid American chef with a gun, an overly oppsessive housewife who is constently waxing the floors of the diplomatic relations building,a crazy walter-hating chef who cannot make an American meal,a diplomat who got hit over the head and now believes that he is the wright brothers, and an Axel loving young woman who believes in fortune-tellers. This movie has everything.

Unredeemable dreck from Allen

[HuntinPeck80 · 2/10 · 21 August 2023]

Woody's play, Don't Drink The Water, made once before and a bomb then, gets the author's own direction in this TV movie, and confirms that Allen and TV are not a good match. I guess that thing he did with Miley Cyrus reconfirmed it.

DDTW (1994) looks awful, sounds awful, is awful. An insufferable, spectacularly irritating US family flees to the US embassy when there is trouble in the Eastern European country they're visiting on vacation. Once safely inside they besiege it from within, causing havoc and headaches for all the embassy staff. The premise may sound comedically appealing, but trust me, this is a stinkathon of a movie. A real contender for the worst Allen picture, vying with such lows as Hollywood Ending and Anything Else.

Happily, 1994 was also the year he released Bullets Over Broadway, which is outstanding, one of his finest movies. See that instead.

Hilarious cold war comedy

[blanche-2 · 10/10 · 30 March 2010]

Woody Allen and company provide nearly non-stop laughs in this hilarious TV-movie version of his play, "Don't Drink the Water," done in 1994. Allen plays Walter Hollander, a New Jersey caterer who is accused of being a spy and seeks asylum in the local American embassy with his wife (Julie Kavner) and daughter (Mayim Bialik). The embassy already houses a priest (Dom Deluise) who, in the six years of domicile, has been practicing magic tricks. He doesn't have the hang of any of them yet. Also, the embassy is expecting a visit from an emir who shows up with attendants and 12 wives. The ambassador (Josef Summer) is in Washington and has left the place in the non-capable hands of his son (Michael J. Fox) who, when he took over the Brazilian embassy, had them importing coffee. Edward Herrmann is the assistant, Kilroy. After a nasty bang on the head, he thinks he's both Wright Brothers. There are state police and soon protesters outside. It's a set-up for disaster.

Everyone is fabulous in this chaotic film, and there are plenty of bits besides the failed magic tricks that provide laughs aplenty. One of the funniest occurs when Allen demands real food like boiled chicken, and the chef announces he's serving rabbit. He's holding the priest's rabbit that he uses for his magic tricks, and a chase ensues. Kavner as Marion is a riot as she irons, vacuums, and spars with Allen, who is in top form. When Allen announces he can't wear silk because it aggravates his skin - he has the thighs of a princess, according to his doctor - it's priceless.

I highly recommend this movie for people who just want to be entertained and laugh their heads off. It's not deep, it's not relevant, it's not vulgar, it's the kind of comedy that used to be done - crazy, funny, with great characters. Good for what ails you.

precious

[winner55 · 10/10 · 7 July 2008]

I caught this on videotape and watched it over and over again - it's hilarious. The best comic performance by Fox, the best by Delouise (whom I normally loathe), great performances by all.

Allen's performance (basically, he's playing his own father) is stunning in his effortless timing, and he directs the ensemble around him accordingly.

The camera work is nothing special, but what do you expect from TV? That this made its way to television is itself part of the miracle.

My own guess is that this is the production that Allen should have retired on - he hasn't made a dam' thing of interest since.

But this is perfect.

Flawlessly ridiculous - a precious gem of American comic theater.

Where is the video.

[jcosper-2 · 10/10 · 22 July 2000]

This is a great play with a great cast. Woody Allen and Michael J. Fox at their frazzled best. Brenda Kavner is also excellent. Dom DeLuise is great as the crazy priest.

Why is this NOT available on video anywhere???

Alvy Singer, Marge Simpson and Marty McFly behind the Iron Curtain

[lee_eisenberg · 8/10 · 12 December 2009]

I had read about how Woody Allen wrote a play called "Don't Drink the Water", and that there was a movie version in the sixties. This TV version from 1994 is the only version that I've seen, and I really like it. Focusing on an American family traveling behind the Iron Curtain in the early '60s and having to flee to the US embassy after an unpleasant situation, it's very much an Allen movie. Especially the line about the screenwriter. It's too bad that this isn't one of Allen's more famous movies (especially when the god-awful "Everyone Says I Love You" is well-known). Mayim Bialik, who plays the daughter, is apparently more famous for a different role. I had never heard of her until I saw "DDTW" - and I don't recall having seen her in anything else since I saw this movie - so I'll most likely always associate her with this role. Really good.

Also starring Michael J. Fox, Julie Kavner, Dom DeLuise (RIP), Josef Sommer, Edward Herrmann and Austin Pendleton.