A Midwinter's Tale (1995)

Mark Hadfield: Vernon Spatch (Polonius, Marcellus, and First Gravedigger)

Quotes 

• Vernon Spatch : You're doing wonderfully well. Tell me, are your nipples hard?

  Fadge : If they were any harder, Tom could do chin-ups from them.

• [Severely depressed, Joe wonders what makes life worth living] 

  Vernon Spatch : Rachmaninoff. That bit in Brief Encounter. And Brief Encounter, actually. That makes life worth living. I'll buy you the video for Christmas.