Bulletproof (1996)

Adam Sandler: Moses

Photos 

Quotes 

• Cop : Sir, have you had anything to drink today?

  Archie Moses : [drunk]  I had about a half a beer, the dog had a lot.

• Archie Moses : Wow, Awesome! They got porno!

• Archie Moses : This is a '70s porno. You know how I can tell? Because the guy's dick has sideburns.

• Archie Moses : See that, your head hurts 'cus you feel guilty.

  Keats : My head hurts 'cus you shot me in it!

• Archie Moses : I don't like your God. Your God scares me.

• Archie Moses : [Trying to escape out of the window in the shower, Keats puts his gun in his ass]  AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!

  Keats : Let me guess. You dropped the soap!

  Archie Moses : Please take that thing out of my ass.

  Keats : [Charlie, the motel manager looks up and sees them]  I want you on the bed. Now.

• Archie Moses : You'd better not kill me, man, I've got shit to do tomorrow!

• Archie Moses : You wank off a lot?

  Chuck : What's a lot?

  Archie Moses : You know, you got 5 minutes off, slip into one of the rooms, pull down your lil' panty's wack it.

• Archie Moses : In actuality, I was hitting on her harder than you think, motherfucker! So why don't you step the fuck back before I bitch slap your fucking heiney!

• Archie Moses : I see you've got porno here

  Chuck : Yes, we have an excellent selection

  Archie Moses : Good I like the porn

  Chuck : Well, good

• Archie Moses : You're a piece of shit, you know that, Keats?

• Archie Moses : You can't stop fucking me over, can you?

• Traci : Jack, Colton made me do it. He would've killed me if I hadn't done it...

  Archie Moses : Ooh, watch it now, Keats, l she's playin' you.

  Traci : But then I fell in love with you.

  Archie Moses : But... then I fell... shut the fuck up!

  Traci : I swear to God I did!

  Archie Moses : Ah, she's lyin' out her devil ass!

  Traci : Will you shut the fuck up?

  Archie Moses : Why don't you make me?

  [she knocks the gun out of his hand and punches him, sending him down the stairs] 

  Archie Moses : Jesus... I gotta learn how to fight; this is pathetic.

• Archie Moses : Hey, Man! What are you doing? You just wasted good weed!

• Archie Moses : [singing]  And I will always love you...

  Keats : WILL YOU SHUT UP? SHUT THE HELL UP!

• Archie Moses : I saved our fuckin' life!

• Archie Moses : I got piss on me!