Dunston Checks In (1996)
Jason Alexander: Robert Grant
Photos
Quotes
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Kyle Grant : [Robert has gotten a Dubrow Alert] Dad, wait, I'm not done.
Robert Grant : Yes, you are. She hates kids. She once kicked Big Bird in the nuts!
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Robert Grant : [sees Dunston out the window] HOLY SHIT!
Mrs. Feldman : [to Mrs. Winthrop] He must really hate the Four Seasons.
Robert Grant : No, no!
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Robert Grant : Kyle, I know you're upset about the vacation, but that is no excuse to throw a guest's dog into the garbage.
Kyle Grant : I didn't throw him in the garbage.
Robert Grant : Then, what happened? No, no, don't tell me, let me guess. You decided to give him a coffee-ground bath to improve his coat.
Kyle Grant : He jumped off the dog walk.
Robert Grant : The dog is suicidal? Is that what you're trying to tell me?
Kyle Grant : He smelled the monster on the ledge and jumped over.
Robert Grant : Oh, it makes perfect sense now. He smelled the monster on the ledge. It is the smelly ledge monster.
Brian : [to Kyle] Way to blow the tip, psycho.
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Mrs. Dubrow : Where did it come from?
La Farge : Well, when two orangutans fall in love...
Robert Grant : I think she means how did it get into the hotel.
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Robert Grant : I'm giving you a week's paid vacation.
Consuelo : Thank you.
Robert Grant : On one condition: you have to go running out of this office right now, crying.
Consuelo : [starts up tears] Hoo hoo hoo hoo. Ahhhhh.
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Victor : Fluffy towels.
Robert Grant : Excuse me?
Victor : Read the cards, Robert. You gotta keep up on the cards. You know what the guests want?
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Brian : You do realize we'll probably end up living in a Motel 6?
Robert Grant : Yep! Sounds pretty good to me.
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[on his phone after seeing Dunston in the greenroom on the roof]
Robert Grant : Call security and get them up here! Everybody! Everybody! And call the best animal control in the city. And Nancy, Nancy - call Kyle, and, uh... apologize for me.
[hangs up, begins hyperventilating]
Robert Grant : I got a monkey in my hotel!
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Robert Grant : [of Rutledge] He tied you up?
Kyle Grant : Yes, and he's gonna hurt Dunston if he finds him!
Robert Grant : Okay. You guys, you split up, you find the monkey, and you take him upstairs to the apartment. I'm gonna take care of Lord Rutledge.
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Robert Grant : What is your brother doing in the spa?
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Robert Grant : Brian, no Poker, no videos, and no using the security room for your own little voyeuristic pleasures!
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Robert Grant : [angry with Brian] *What* is your brother doing in the *spa*?