Everyone Says I Love You (1996)

Goldie Hawn: Steffi

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Quotes 

• Joe : Carol was a poet and a member of MENSA so...

  Steffi : She was a heroin addict!

  Joe : Yeah she was also a heroin addict, but I thought it was insulin, so how was I to know?

• Steffi : You always pick the wrong women.

  Joe : Hey, I picked you.

  Steffi : Yeah, I know, we got divorced.

  Joe : 'Cause you were impossible to live with.

  Steffi : "I was impossible to live with," I love this. You couldn't figure out whether you wanted to be a psychoanalyst or a writer!

  Joe : So I compromised, I became a writer and a patient.

• Steffi : I've been trying since we got divorced to find the right woman for him, somebody to match up with his personality. I'm beginning to wonder if the world population isn't too limited.

• Joe : Madeline was an archaeologist. She was fabulous.

  Steffi : Madeline was a nymphomaniac!

  Joe : Yeah, okay, she had a little problem with fidelity. You know, I didn't happen to see it.

• Steffi : Speaking as a woman, Holden can be very animal too.

  Schuyler Dandridge : Yes, Mom, but it's of the gerbil family.

• Steffi : I say give them an opportunity to decorate their own cells with their personal interior decorator.

• Steffi : Y'know over the years I often wondered what would have happened if we stayed together.

  Joe : Well, that's something we never gonna know. We've managed to produce a fabulous daughter though. She got your looks, fortunately, and my... magic personality.

• Laura : [singing]  I'm through with love, I'll never fall again!

  Steffi : What are you talking about? You're only 14!

  Bob : [singing]  I'm through with love, I'll never fall again.

  Steffi : What are *you* singing about? You're not in love with Holden!

• Steffi : [Sitting in the funeral parlor]  What's it all about? I ean, what - what are we doing? We're rushing... we're rushing...

  Bob : Th-that's right.

  Steffi : Where are we going?

  Laura : [Commenting as a sidebar to Lane about their parents]  They're so old.

  Steffi : ...into the void.

  Bob : That's it. The void is it? You know, I never believed in God!

  Steffi : Oh.

  Bob : No, I didn't... not even asa little kid. I used - I used to think - I remember this - I used to think even if he exists, he's done such a terrible job!

  Lane : [Reprovingly]  Dad!

  Bob : It's a wonder people don't file a class action suit against him.

• Steffi : He was a foot fetishist, it's the only group I remember him belonging to - it drove your Mother crazy.

• Steffi : Bob, calm your denial mechanism.

• Steffi : He's a criminal!

  Schuyler Dandridge : Mom, I'm shocked. You've done nothing but sing his praises for months.

• Joe : Take my mustache off... .

  Steffi : Please!