Space Jam (1996)

Michael Jordan: Michael Jordan

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bill Murray : It's 'cause I'm white, isn't it?

  Michael Jordan : No. Larry's white, so what?

  Bill Murray : Larry's not white. Larry's clear.

• Michael Jordan : Whatever you do, don't forget my North Carolina shorts.

  Daffy Duck : Your shorts? From college?

  Michael Jordan : I wore them under my Chicago Bulls uniform every game.

  Looney Tunes : Eeewwww!

  Michael Jordan : Hey! I washed them after every game!

  Sylvester : Sure...

  Michael Jordan : I did!

• Michael Jordan : What's going on here?

  Bugs Bunny : Why Michael, l thought you'd never ask! You see, these aliens come from outer space, and they want to make us slaves in their theme park. Eh, what do we care? They're little, so we challenge them to a basketball game. But then they show up and they ain't so little, they're huge! We need to beat these guys, 'cause they're talking about slavery! They're gonna make us do stand-up comedy! The same jokes, every night, for all eternity! We're gonna be locked up like wild animals and then trotted out to perform for a bunch of lowbrow, bug-eyed, fat-headed, humor-challenged aliens! Eh, what I'm trying to say is... WE NEED YOUR HELP!

  Michael Jordan : Yeah, but I'm a baseball player now.

  Bugs Bunny : Right.

  [Bugs gets out the rabbit skull] 

  Bugs Bunny : And I'm a Shakespearean actor.

  [Bugs throws the skull away] 

• Michael Jordan : Look, I wanna help. But I haven't played basketball in a long time. My timing's off.

  Bugs Bunny : Eh, We'll fix your timing. Look at our facilities.

  Daffy Duck : [climbing on a basketball hoop]  We've got hoops!

  Elmer Fudd : We've got weights!

  Sylvester : We've got balls!

  [opens a locker full of balls] 

  Michael Jordan : You sure do.

• Bugs Bunny : You wanna play a little one on one, doll?

  Lola Bunny : [angrily, with fire in her eyes]  Doll?

  Bugs Bunny : [with hearts over his head]  Uh huh.

  Lola Bunny : On the court, *Bugs*.

  Bugs Bunny : Sure.

  Tweety Bird : Ooo, she's hot.

  [Tweety touches his rear and steam appears with a hissing sound] 

  Lola Bunny : [starts dribbling]  Ready?

  Bugs Bunny : Yes.

  [Lola gets past Bugs] 

  Bugs Bunny : I got it, I got it!

  [Lola spins around him, he winds up into a knot and she makes a basket] 

  Michael Jordan : The girl's got skills.

  Bugs Bunny : [Lola comes over to him seductively]  Yes?

  Lola Bunny : Don't ever call me "doll".

  [Lola blows her ears out of her face] 

  Bugs Bunny : Check.

  Lola Bunny : [as she is leaving]  Nice playin' with ya.

  Michael Jordan : Very smooth.

  Bugs Bunny : Ahh, she's obviously nuts about me.

  Michael Jordan : Obviously.

• Michael Jordan : [after winning the game]  Thanks guys, you got a lot of... a lot of... well, whatever it is, you got a lot of it.

• Stan Podalak : Let me help! Let me help! I can help! I can help!

  Michael Jordan : What can you do?

  Stan Podalak : Well, I may not be very tall, but... I'm slow.

  Sylvester : And large.

  Daffy Duck : And a dork.

• [Stan prepares to take a picture of Michael after the hole in one] 

  Stan Podalak : Let me get a picture of this. All right, here we go, you want to smile. You reach in, you reach in for the ball and then you smile. OK?

  Michael Jordan : Yes.

  Stan Podalak : And you think this is good.

  Michael Jordan : Just take the picture!

  Stan Podalak : All right.

  [a rope comes out of the hole and pulls Michael in] 

  Bill Murray : [after a pause]  What kind of camera is that?

  Stan Podalak : It's just a...

  Bill Murray : [interrupts]  Would you not point it at me please and close the lens cap?

  Stan Podalak : I didn't do anything! I just took...

  Larry Bird : Where'd he go?

• [One of the Monstars hurts Tweety] 

  Michael Jordan : [to Tweety]  Are you OK?

  Monstar Blanko : Yeah, are you OK?

  [the other Monstars gets angry at Blanko] 

  Monstar Blanko : Oops.

• [last lines] 

  Bugs Bunny : Well, that's all, folks!

  Porky Pig : [stutters]  That's my line.

  [stammers] 

  Daffy Duck : [pushes Porky Pig]  Step aside, babe. Let us star do this. That's all--

  [the Nerdlucks pushes Daffy out] 

  Nerdlucks : THAT'S ALL FOLKS!

  Michael Jordan : [grabs the curtain]  Can I go home now?

• Michael Jordan : Let's do some drills.

• Bill Murray : Okay, here's how I see it. Duck?

  Daffy Duck : Yes.

  Bill Murray : You kick it in to the girl bunny. Down in the post. Then you dish it back out to the guy bunny.

  Lola Bunny : Got it.

  Bill Murray : Swing it around to Mike, over here. You go to the hole and dominate!

  Michael Jordan : Bill! We're on defense!

  Bill Murray : Whoa ho ho! I don't play defense. Okay, you're gonna have to listen to Mike on this guys, listen up.

  Michael Jordan : Okay, somebody steal the ball, give it to me, and I'll score before time runs out.

  Bill Murray : Don't lose that confidence, okay, paws and wings in here, all right!

• Michael Jordan : Someone has to go to my house and pick up my basketball gear.

  Daffy Duck : To your house? In 3-D land?

• Michael Jordan : Bugs?

  Bugs Bunny : Yeah, Mike?

  Michael Jordan : Stay out of trouble.

  [he leaves] 

  Bugs Bunny : [to Lola]  You know I will.

  [Lola laughs and Bugs grabbing her arms] 

  Bugs Bunny : Come here!

  [gives her a long kiss, she howls and then quickly changes to the next scene by pulling it down over them like a window shade] 

• Mr. Swackhammer : [after berating them for losing to the Looney Tunes]  Alright, the party's over! Get in the spaceship!

  Michael Jordan : [to the Monstars]  Why are you taking from this guy?

  Monstar Bupkus : Because he's bigger!

  Monstar Pound : He's bigger?

  Monstar Bang : Then, we *used* to be...

  Mr. Swackhammer : [the Monstars realize they are now bigger than Swackhammer and look at him menacingly]  What are you doing?

  [They seize him and stuff him on a rocket and blasts it off into space to crash onto the Moon] 

  Michael Jordan : Had it in you all the time, didn't ya?

  [the Monstars look embarrassed for a moment] 

• Jeffrey Jordan : Did everyone get mad at you?

  Michael Jordan : No, worse. Everyone was real nice about it.

• Michael Jordan : You guys are nuts!

  Porky Pig : Correction! We're Looney Tunes.

  Daffy Duck : And as such exclusive property and trademark of Warner Bros. Inc!

• Bugs Bunny : [after Michael is pulled into the Toon World through the golf hole]  Oh, uh, look out for that foist step, doc; it's a real lulu.

  Michael Jordan : [surprised]  Bugs Bunny?

  Bugs Bunny : Eh, you were expecting maybe the Easter Bunny?

  Michael Jordan : [disbelievingly]  You're a cartoon; you're not real.

  Bugs Bunny : Not real, eh? If I weren't real, could I do this?

  [He gives Michael a big kiss on the mouth. A disgusted Michael wipes his lips]