Liar Liar (1997)

Justin Cooper: Max Reede

Photos 

Quotes 

• Max Reede : My teacher tells me real beauty is on the inside.

  Fletcher Reede : That's just something ugly people say.

• Max Reede : Is wrestling real?

  Fletcher Reede : In the Olympics, yes. On channel 23, no.

• Max Reede : If I keep making this face... will it get stuck that way?

  Fletcher Reede : Nuh-uh. As a matter of fact, some people make a very good living that way.

• Max Reede : [voiceover, before blowing out his birthday candles]  I wish, that for only one day, Dad couldn't tell a lie.

• Max Reede : Do the Claw to Mom, Dad! Do the Claw to Mom!

  Fletcher Reede : Uh-oh. You've found the Claw's only weakness. Subzero temperatures!

  [Splatting sound] 

  Audrey Reede : [sarcastically]  So did you have any trouble finding the place?

  Fletcher Reede : All right, I'm late. I ran outta gas! The gauge is broken. Rough neighborhood too. Good thing I was wearing neutral gang colors. Might've had to rip out my nine and bust a cap! My mind on my money and my money on my mind!

  Audrey Reede : They'd never hurt you, Fletcher. You're their lawyer.

  Fletcher Reede : Ooh. That was below the belt. Try to keep the gloves up.

  Max Reede : Mom, Dad's taking me to see wrestling!

  Audrey Reede : Ugh. Fletcher!

  Fletcher Reede : Ugh. Audrey!

• Fletcher Reede : Max! It's 8:45, you made the wish at 8:15. I've been able to lie for the past half hour.

  Max Reede : So you were - ?

  Fletcher Reede : No! It was the truth. I just wanted to be honest with you, Max. I always want to be honest with you.

• [the lights turn on after Max makes a wish and blows out the candles] 

  Max Reede : Mom? Dad?

  [Audrey and Fletcher are kissing. After they break away, they look at each other in surprise] 

  Fletcher Reede : [suspiciously]  MAX? Did you wish for your mom and I to get back together again?

  Max Reede : No. I wished for rollerblades!

  Audrey Reede : [awkwardly, to Fletcher]  Uh... wanna cut the cake... Dad?

  Fletcher Reede : I would love to... but I have this horrible pain in my arm...

  Audrey Reede : Oh no... run, IT'S THE CLAW!

  Fletcher Reede : NOTHING CAN STOP THE CLAWWWW!

• Fletcher Reede : Hey, creepy. Happy birthday. How old are you now? 22? 23?

  Max Reede : I'm 5, Dad.

  Fletcher Reede : Okay.

  [pretends to write] 

  Fletcher Reede : Return the beer keg. Cancel the dancing girls.

• Fletcher Reede : Maximus, I'm outta here.

  Max Reede : Bye, Dad.

  Fletcher Reede : [to Jerry]  Jerry, enjoy my wife.

• Max Reede : Mom, Dad's takin' me to see wrestling!

  Audrey Reede : Ugh! Fletcher!

  Fletcher Reede : Ugh! Audrey!

  Audrey Reede : Well, why do you have to take him to see that stuff? It's very violent!

  Fletcher Reede : The boy must grow to be a warrior!

  [Both grimace and grunt] 

• Ms. Berry : Today we're going to talk about what our parents do for work.

  Little Girl : My mommy is a doctor.

  Little Boy : My daddy is a truck driver.

  Max Reede : Well my mom's a teacher.

  Ms. Berry : And your dad?

  Max Reede : My dad he's a liar.

  Ms. Berry : A liar? I'm sure you don't mean a liar.

  Max Reede : Well he wears a suit and goes to court and talks to the judge.

  Ms. Berry : Oh I see. You mean he's a lawyer.

  [Max shrugs his shoulders in a yeah whatever mood] 

• Fletcher Reede : [outside of Max's school]  See, Max, I have to lie. Everybody lies. Mommy lies. Even the wonderful Jerry lies.

  Max Reede : But you're the only one who makes me feel bad.

• Fletcher Reede : [after Fletcher steals a flight of stairs and gets injured at the airport, Audrey comes over to check on him]  Audrey!

  Audrey Reede : Fletcher!

  Fletcher Reede : Great news! Both my legs are broken so they can't take me right to jail.

  Audrey Reede : Fletcher, what were you doing? Are you out of your mind?

  Fletcher Reede : [sits up]  No! I'm thinking clear. I've NEVER been this clear.

  Max Reede : [approaches]  Dad?

  Fletcher Reede : [smiles]  Creep. I was getting kind of upset.

  Max Reede : Are you all right?

  Fletcher Reede : Yeah.

  [points to his heart] 

  Fletcher Reede : But I'm hurting here though. I'm a dope, Max. All this time you've been here and I could see you anytime I felt like it but I didn't. Then your mom told me you were moving to Boston and I started thinking. I could be sitting around sometime; I wanna look at you and hold you and play with you. And I wanna be able to. I don't think I'm gonna do too well with that. I love you more than anything else in the world, Max. And you know it's true! I couldn't say it if it wasn't true. Not today. I love you. And I'll NEVER hurt you again.

  [gently wipes a tear off Max's cheek with his thumb] 

• Fletcher Reede : [asking Max to undo his birthday wish]  Now, do whatever you did last night, only this time, make it an unwish.

  Max Reede : [blowing the candle on the cake out]  I did it.

  Fletcher Reede : Excellent! Now I just need a little test.

  [seeing an attractive teacher nearby, he goes over to talk to her, and she promptly slaps him in the face] 

  Max Reede : [he comes back]  Did it work?

  Fletcher Reede : Not like I'd hoped. Did you unwish it?

  Max Reede : [nodding]  Only...

  Fletcher Reede : What? Only what?

  Max Reede : Yesterday, when I wished it, I really meant it. This time when I unwished it, I only did it 'cause you told me to.

• Max Reede : [shows his baseball glove]  Look at what Dad got me.

  Jerry : Wow, great. Hey, you know what, I have my glove in the car. Maybe we could stop at the park on the way home and play catch. Then tonight we can rub oil in it and wrap a big rubber band around it. It'll be great.

  [to Fletcher] 

  Jerry : Hey, great gift, Dad.

  Fletcher Reede : [sarcastically]  Thanks, Son.

  [to Audrey] 

  Fletcher Reede : I'm so glad my gift could bring those two together. My plan to phase myself out is almost complete.

• Child at Party and School : My Mommy is a doctor.

  Child at Party and School : My Dad is a truck driver.

  Max Reede : My Mom's a teacher.