Armageddon (1998)

Peter Stormare: Lev Andropov

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lev Andropov : It's stuck, yes?

  Watts : Back off! You don't know the components!

  Lev Andropov : [annoyed]  Components. American components, Russian Components, ALL MADE IN TAIWAN!

• Lev Andropov : I'm stepping outside.

  A.J. : You're-you're going outside?

  Lev Andropov : I am the only certified astronaut. And I'm saving your American ass!

• A.J. : Have you ever heard of Evel Knievel?

  Lev Andropov : No, I never saw Star Wars.

• [A.J, Lev, and Bear are making the canyon jump and Lev is flying outside on the armadillo trying to fix it] 

  Lev Andropov : I'm sorry A.J. I was way off on the odds!

• [after escaping the Russian Space Station explosion] 

  Freddy Noonan : Pretty intense, huh?

  Lev Andropov : That's why I told you "touch nothing". But you're bunch of cowboys!

• Colonel William Sharp : It takes two people to fly this thing. Either we all stay and die, or you guys draw straws.

  Rockhound : I say we all stay and die.

  [pause, everyone looks at Rockhound] 

  Rockhound : But that's me.

  AJ : I'll draw. Let's draw.

  Harry : Nobody's gonna draw straws. I'll stay and take care of it.

  Chick : Well, I can't live with that sort of thing.

  Lev Andropov : Nobody asked you if you could live with it, all right?

  Lev Andropov : Bullshit! No way I will let you volunteer for this, so I can go back to my home country like the man who did not volunteer! No way!

  Bear : Hey man, let's draw, and let's see who's gonna stay up here and dance.

  Rockhound : Hey guys? I-I know you guys think I'm crazy right now but, I would really like this responsibility.

  Harry : All right. All right.

  Rockhound : I can do it!

  Harry : Let's just draw straws and get it over with. Come on.

  Chick : I ain't drawin' against you, Harry.

  Harry : Well, I'm gonna draw against you Chick, so you better just go ahead and do it.

  [They draw straws] 

  Chick : Just gimme this thing.

  Lev Andropov : [Lev looks at the straw he has drawn]  Is this good, or bad?

  [A.J. has drawn the short straw] 

  AJ : Oh man. Well, we all gotta die right? I'm the guy who gets to do it saving the world.

• Lev Andropov : This is how we fix problem in the Russian space station!

  [hits panel with tool] 

• Lev Andropov : Now I'm really a Russian hero!

• Lev Andropov : Welcome home, astronauts.

• Lev Andropov : I am not gas station. This is sophisticated laboratory.

• Lev Andropov : I am not a gas station. This is a sophisticated laboratory.

• Lev Andropov : Don't touch my uncle! You know? He's a genius of my family.

• A.J. : This is great. We just happen to run into the Grand Canyon on the asteroid.

  Lev Andropov : I told you, you took wrong way, wrong road.

  A.J. : What? What road? Do you see any roads around here?

  Lev Andropov : You know what, I do not have much pleasure being near God's ear, but you think this is looking good or what?

  A.J. : Lev, why don't you just do humanity a favor and just shut the hell up?

• Lev Andropov : Welcome everybody !

• Lev Andropov : He used to make the tip of the bomb. The thing that finds, uh, New York or Washington, you know?