Mulan (1998)

James Hong: Chi Fu

Photos 

Quotes 

• Chi Fu : [singing]  I've a girl at home who's unlike any other...

  Yao : [singing in whisper to Mulan]  Yeah, the only girl who'd love him is his mother.

• Shang : Let me see your conscription notice.

  [Reads it] 

  Shang : Fa Zhou? The Fa Zhou?

  Chi Fu : I didn't know Fa Zhou had a son.

  Mulan : Well, he doesn't talk about me much.

  [Tries to spit, but ends up with a glop of spit hanging from her lip] 

  Chi Fu : I can see why. The boy is an absolute lunatic.

• Chi Fu : Insubordinate ruffians! You men owe me a new pair of slippers! And I do not squeal like a girl.

  [a panda eats his slipper; he squeals like a girl] 

  Mushu : [disguised as a messenger riding the panda]  Urgent news from the General.

  [beat] 

  Mushu : What's the matter? Never seen a black-and-white before?

  Chi Fu : Who are you?

  Mushu : Excuse me? I think the question is, who are *you!* We're in a war, man! There's no time for stupid questions! I should have your hat for this, snatch it *right* off your head. But I'm feeling gracious today, so carry on before I report you.

• Shang : Captain Li Shang. Hm. Leader of China's finest troops. No, the greatest troops of all time.

  [exits his tent to find the troops fighting each other; we see one soldier with a black eye salute Shang, then promptly faint] 

  Chi Fu : Most impressive.

• Chi Fu : Order. People, order.

  Citizen : I'll have a pan-fried noodle.

  Chien-Po : Ooh, ooh, sweet-and-pungent shrimp.

  Citizen : Moo goo gai pan.

  Chi Fu : That's not funny.

• Fa Zhou : I am ready to serve the emperor.

  Mulan : Father! You can't go!

  Fa Zhou : Mulan!

  Mulan : Please, sir. My father has already fought for...

  Chi Fu : Silence! You would do well to teach your daughter to hold her tongue in a man's presence.

  Fa Zhou : Mulan, you dishonor me.

• Chi Fu : Be careful, Captain. The General may be your father, but I am the Emperor's counsel. Oh, and by the way, I got that job on my own.

  [Li Shang walks out of his tent and passes Mulan] 

  Mulan : Hey. I'll hold him, and you punch!

• The Emperor of China : Chi Fu.

  Chi Fu : Your Excellency?

  The Emperor of China : [indicating Mulan]  See to it that this woman is made a member of my council.

  Chi Fu : A member of... what?

  [sputters] 

  Chi Fu : But... there are no council positions open, your Majesty.

  The Emperor of China : Very well.

  The Emperor of China : [to Mulan]  You can have HIS job.

  Chi Fu : What? Uh...

  [Chi Fu faints] 

• Shang : What's your name?

  Mulan : Uh... I, I, uh...

  Chi Fu : Your commanding officer just asked you a question.

  Mulan : Uh, I've got a name. Ha! And it's a boy's name, too.

  Mushu : [whispering in Mulan's ear]  Ling. How 'bout Ling?

  Mulan : [looking toward Ling]  His name is Ling.

  Shang : I didn't ask for *his* name. I asked for *yours!*

  Mushu : Try, uh, uh, ah, Chu.

  Mulan : Ah Chu.

  Shang : Ah Chu?

  Mushu : Gesundheit.

  Mushu : [chuckles]  I kill myself.

  Mulan : Mushu...

  Shang : Mushu?

  Mulan : No!

  Shang : Then what is it?

  Mushu : Ping! Ping was my best friend growin' up.

  Mulan : It's Ping.

  Shang : Ping?

  Mushu : Of course, Ping did steal my girl...

  [Mulan muffles him] 

  Mulan : Yes, my name is Ping.

• General Li : The Huns have struck here, here, and here. I will take the main troops up to the Tung Chow Pass and stop Shan Yu before he destroys this village.

  Chi Fu : Excellent strategy, sir! I do love surprises.

  General Li : [to Li Shang]  You will stay and train the new recruits. When Chi Fu believes you're ready, you will join us... Captain.

  Shang : Captain?

  Chi Fu : Oh! This is an enormous responsibility, General! Perhaps a soldier with more experience?

  General Li : Number one in his class, extensive knowledge of training techniques... an impressive military linuage... I believe Lee Shang will do an excellent job.

  Shang : Oh I will! I won't let you down! This is... I mean... Yes sir.

  General Li : Very good, then. We'll toast China's victory at the Imperial City. I'll expect a full report in three weeks.

  Chi Fu : And believe me, I won't leave anything out.

  Shang : Captain Lee Shang. Leader of China's finest troops. No, the greatest troops of all time.

  [They step outside] 

  Chi Fu : Most impressive.

  General Li : Good luck, Captain! Yah!

  [He rides off, followed by two lines of soldiers on horses] 

  Shang : Good luck... Father.