San Peng: Piggy
Photos
Quotes
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[after getting punched by Monkey Boy]
Oolong : It hurts, you know!... I've been king of this land for years, and nobody's ever hit me! Let me tell you, it feels like I got hit by a cow and two goats, plus three horses!... Run away! Or I'll come and eat you alive, you know! Go on, run!
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Turtle Man : [cackles] My pretty little lady, do you want to have this Dragon Pearl?
[holds out his own Pearl]
Bulma : If you're willing to part with it, of course I'll take it!
Turtle Man : I'm gonna let you have it, but... uh... you have to do something for it!
Bulma : So what do you want?
Turtle Man : I've been living on this remote island for all my life, and I've never seen a girl as pretty as you! So I... so I... well... I want... I want to see you without any clothes on!
Oolong : How dare you, you dirty old man! How can you think of something as low as that?
Son Goku : Master, that's too much!
Turtle Man : Hey, kid, sex is human nature!
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Oolong : Why should he see your body, huh? You deserve to reserve it for me!
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Oolong : [chasing Jen-Jen] You're a pretty girl. I want you to be my wife!
Pansy : I don't want to marry you, you're too ugly! Anyway I'm too young to be married!
Oolong : Never mind! I'll keep you till you grow up! When you're grown up, then you can marry me!
Pansy : No! Get away from me!
Oolong : Either you'll marry me, or I'll eat you up!
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[Monkey Boy and Piggy are shot at by a stranger]
Son Goku : Who are you?
Miss Snow White : This is my master Mr Westwood! And me, I'm Miss Snow White!
Oolong : [to Monkey Boy] He's the bandit of the West! His kung-fu's good, and this is his territory! He'll kill you, unless he takes all your money!
Yamcha : I'm glad you know. So leave your valuables! Then I'll spare your lives!
Oolong : Oh, no... You got money?
Son Goku : What's money?
Oolong : Oh God... Hey, your kung-fu's good. So you can beat him?
Son Goku : Of course I can!
Oolong : [to Westwood] We got money, but you can't have it, so there!
Yamcha : Then I'll send you to hell!
[starts shooting]
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Oolong : Sir, I'm very good at kissing asses, you know that? I can make you feel very special!
Son Goku : I don't like people kissing my ass.
Oolong : That's okay, I've got other skills! And one of them is: I know magic! I can change into other things, and if you're bored, I can change into ANYTHING!
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Oolong : I just can't resist pretty girls like YOU! I just can't control myself!
[chases Jen Jen and Seetou]
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Bulma : Hey, I've got an idea...
Bulma : [to Piggy] You strip for him!
Oolong : HUH? ME strip for HIM? If I took off all my clothes, he wouldn't want to look even if I paid him!
Bulma : I mean that you change into me. Then he'll think he's looking at me, when he's actually looking at you!
Son Goku : That's great? Did you hear that?
Oolong : Huh? You want ME to bare all for that sex maniac?... Okay, but you gotta pay too!
Bulma : What do YOU want?
Oolong : Well, he'll see the top... I'll see the bottom!
Bulma : Listen, Piggy, when you change into me, you'll be able to see the whole body.
Oolong : Oh, yeah! How come I'm so stupid? I'll change right now!
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Oolong : [about the Turtle Man] He's a real master of magic, and his kung-fu's the best there is! But... he's a sex maniac. He's many times worse than me!
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Son Goku : Why didn't you tell us you had a Pearl?
Oolong : My teacher told me not to tell anyone!
Turtle Man : Where is your teacher?
Oolong : Oh, he's very famous! Everybody knows him, including every dog, and even every cat, because...
Turtle Man : [knocks his head] Just say it!
Oolong : The Pig Fairy! My teacher said if I showed the Pearl, people would steal it! He said I must find you guys! That's why I used Jade to meet up with you! I think, now the time is right, so I showed the Pearl to you!
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Son Goku : Oh, now you've changed into a fatty!
Oolong : This is my original form! I'm the 91st descendant of the Pig Fairy, sir! They call me the Pig-Headed Wizard!
Son Goku : The Pig Fairy? Well, I'm the 91st descendant of the Monkey King!
Oolong : Oh, so that explains the pole... your ancestor and my ancestor were brothers, so that makes US brothers!
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Turtle Man : But then, why'd Westwood tell me one of you wanted to fight me?
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Oolong : [seeing Turtle Man dance] He must have magic in those shorts!
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[Piggy disguises himself as Seetou]
Oolong : Darling...
Turtle Man : So, have you made a decision yet?
Oolong : [seductively] Oh, yes I have...
Turtle Man : Oh...?
Oolong : Come here!
[Roshi lets out a whoop and starts to dance with Seetou]
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[a turtle shell is seen floating on the water]
Pansy : Master!
Bulma : Master!
Oolong : Master, you're still alive!
Turtle Man : [wading out of the ocean, half-naked] Are you kidding? Nobody can get rid of ME that easily!... But still, my house is destroyed, and my Dragon Pearl stolen! These people will not get away with this!
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Turtle Man : So, then, every one of us here all have a relationship with a Dragon Pearl, is that right?
[everyone agrees]
Son Goku : [to Piggy] Hey, you don't!
Oolong : Uh... you're right! I don't have a Dragon Pearl, I've no relationship with it...
