An Ideal Husband (I) (1999)
John Wood: Lord Caversham
Quotes
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Lord Caversham : What are you doing here, sir? Wasting your time, as usual?
Lord Arthur Goring : My dear father, when one pays a visit, it is for the purpose of wasting other people's time and not one's own.
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Lord Caversham : Married yet?
Lord Arthur Goring : Ask me again in half an hour.
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Lord Caversham : I don't know how you stand society. A lot of damned nobodies talking about nothing.
Lord Arthur Goring : I love talking about nothing, Father. It's the only thing I know anything about.
Lord Caversham : That is a paradox, sir. I hate paradoxes.
Lord Arthur Goring : So do I, Father. Everyone one meets is a paradox nowadays. It makes society so - obvious.
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Lord Caversham : You are 36.
Lord Arthur Goring : Shh! Father! I only admit to 32.
Lord Caversham : You are 36 and you must get a wife.
Lord Arthur Goring : Wife?
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Lord Caversham : Now, if you don't make her an ideal husband, I'll cut you off with a shilling.
Mabel : An ideal husband? Oh, I don't think I should like that.
Lord Caversham : What do you want him to be then, my dear?
Mabel : I think he can be whatever he chooses.
Lord Caversham : You don't deserve her, sir.
Lord Arthur Goring : My dear father, if we men married the women we deserved... we should have a very bad time of it.
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Lord Caversham : Do you always understand everything you say?
Lord Arthur Goring : Yes... if I listen attentively.
Lord Caversham : Conceited young puppy!
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Lord Arthur Goring : Yes, but the fact is, father, this is not my day for talking seriously.
Lord Caversham : What do you mean, sir?
Lord Arthur Goring : I mean that, during the season, father, I only talk seriously on the first Tuesday in every month. Between noon and three.
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Lord Arthur Goring : There's somebody I want you to talk to.
Lord Caversham : What about?
Lord Arthur Goring : About me, sir.
Lord Caversham : Not a subject on which much eloquence is possible.
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Lord Caversham : Marriage is not a matter of affection, sir, it is a question of common sense.
Lord Arthur Goring : Yes. But women who have common sense are always so curiously plain, aren't they, father? Of course, I'm only speaking from hearsay.
Lord Caversham : No woman, plain or pretty, has any common sense at all, sir. Common sense is a privilege of our sex.
Lord Arthur Goring : Quite so.
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Lord Caversham : What is the matter with this family? There's something wrong here, eh? Idiocy? Hereditary, perhaps. Both of them, too. Very sad. Very sad indeed. They're not an old family. Can't understand it.