Under Wraps (1997 TV Movie)

Mario Yedidia: Marshall

Quotes 

• Marshall : Gilbert, it's a horror movie; what do you think happens? Horrible things!

  Gilbert : All right, I guess I juust don't like horror movies, I like nice happy movies, like "The Sound of Music".

  Marshall : You have got to be kidding.

  Gilbert : No it's great, there's singing and dancing, and Nazis. Well, the Nazis don't sing and dance, which would be great if they did. Anyway, Liesel, she's the oldest daughter... what a babe! Even when she's wearing those play clothes made from the curtains...

  Gilbert : Gilbert, you're starting to sound weird now!

  Marshall : Oh. OK.

• Amy : Clogging? What is this, "Hee-Haw"?

  Marshall : Hey, it worked, didn't it?

  Amy : Yeah, but next time, think of an idea that makes you look like a dork.

• Gilbert : What should we call him?

  Amy : How about 'Mummy'?

  Marshall : How about Harold?

  Amy : Harold?

  Marshall : I don't know; he looks like my Uncle Harold.

  Amy : Geez, your aunt must be ready to open a vein!

• Marshall : Have you ever SEEN a dead person?

  Amy : Oh, yeah, I've got 'em lying around my basement in huge stacks. You know, you should come over some time; we use 'em to build big forts.

• Marshall : [breaking into Kubat's basement]  Geek.

  Amy : Loser.

  [light flashes] 

  Amy : Car!

  [both duck down as a car passes] 

• Gilbert : Wait a minute! If your mom's got the key, then how come we had to break into the basement?

  Amy : What fun is it to use a key?

  Marshall : Exactly.

• Marshall : He likes your hair.

  Amy : Must be my new conditioner. It attracts dead guys.

• Todd : Hey, Amy.

  Amy : I'm busy, Todd.

  Todd : Well, I know, but I was just.

  Amy : Uh Todd.

  Todd : Well I only. I was just wonder.

  Amy : Don't make me hurt you, Todd!

  Todd : Oh. OK. Sorry.

  Amy : He's got a big crush on me, but it's definitely not going to happen.

  Marshall : Why not?

  Amy : He saw that Olsen twins movie twice. I mean, how can you respect a guy like thtat?

  Marshall : I see your point.

• Marshall : I'm going to keep him.

  Amy : You can't keep him.

  Marshall : Well, we can't turn him in. They'll take him somewhere and experiment on him.

  Gilbert : What do you mean, experiment?

  Marshall : Cut him open, dissect him, pack him in formaldehyde.

  Gilbert : They will?

  Marshall : Of course, didn't you see "E.T."?

• Amy : So what movie are we going to see?

  Marshall : Warthead!

  Gilbert : You're crazy!

  Amy : You've seen it three times.

  Marshall : Four. And, you know, I learn more about the character every time.

  Amy : What's to learn? He's a monster. He eats people.

  Marshall : That is such a cultural stereotype.

• Amy : He's dead.

  Marshall : Who?

  Amy : Mr. Kubat.

  Marshall : We just saw him last Saturday!

  Amy : You want your peaches?

  Marshall : When did he die?

  Amy : A couple days ago. The meter man was reading his water meter and saw him through the window, sprawled out on the floor, covered in pancake batter.

  Gilbert : Poor guy, killed by pancake batter.

  Amy : Hello? He had a heart attack moron, he just happened to be making pancakes at the time.

  Gilbert : Still, what a way to go. One minute you're making yourself a hearty, nutritious breakfast and then bingo, lights out.

  Amy : Hey, he was old, organs fail, these things happen. What about you? Are you eating your peaches?

  Marshall : Here, eat all the peaches! I don't know how you can stand these things anyway, they're as hard as bricks.

  Amy : You just suck on them a while and they're okay.

• Amy : What did you see?

  Gilbert : A coffin, a big scary coffin!

  Amy : Oh, wow.

  Marshall : Cool!

  Gilbert : Yeah, REAL cool, especially when there's a hand sticking out of it!

  Amy : Oh, man!

  Marshall : Mr. Kubat must've killed somebody.

• Marshall : [to Harold]  Most of my friends' parents are either divorced or they hate each other.