The Boondock Saints (1999)

Sean Patrick Flanery: Connor MacManus

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Quotes 

• Rocco : Fuckin'- What the fuckin'. Fuck. Who the fuck fucked this fucking... How did you two fucking fucks...

  [shouts] 

  Rocco : Fuck!

  Connor : Well, that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word.

• Connor : Now you will receive us.

  Murphy : We do not ask for your poor or your hungry.

  Connor : We do not want your tired and sick.

  Murphy : It is your corrupt we claim.

  Connor : It is your evil that will be sought by us.

  Murphy : With every breath, we shall hunt them down.

  Connor : Each day, we will spill their blood till it rains down from the skies.

  Murphy : Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace.

  Connor : These are not polite suggestions. These are codes of behavior, and those of you that ignore them will pay the dearest cost.

  Murphy : There are varying degrees of evil. We urge you lesser forms of filth not to push the bounds and cross over into true corruption, into our domain.

  Connor : For if you do, one day you will look behind you and you will see we three. And on that day, you will reap it.

  Murphy : And we will send you to whatever god you wish.

  [Murphy and Conner join II Duce behind Yakavetta] 

  Connor , Murphy , Il Duce : And shepherds we shall be, for Thee, my Lord, for Thee. Power hath descended forth from Thy hand.

  Yakavetta : Vaffanculo!

  ["Fuck you"] 

  Connor , Murphy , Il Duce : That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command. So we shall flow a river forth to Thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be.

  Il Duce : In nomine Patri.

  Connor : Et Filii.

  Murphy : Spiritus Sancti.

  [they execute Yakavetta] 

• Monsignor : And I am reminded, on this holy day, of the sad story of Kitty Genovese. As you all may remember, a long time ago, almost thirty years ago, this poor soul cried out for help time and time again, but no person answered her calls. Though many saw, no one so much as called the police. They all just watched as Kitty was being stabbed to death in broad daylight. They watched as her assailant walked away. Now, we must all fear evil men. But there is another kind of evil which we must fear most, and that is the indifference of good men.

  Connor : [as the brothers exit the church]  I do believe the monsignor's finally got the point.

  Murphy : Aye.

• Doc : You know what they say: People in glass houses sink sh-sh-ships.

  Rocco : Doc, I gotta buy you, like, a proverb book or something. This mix'n'match shit's gotta go.

  Doc : What?

  Connor : A penny saved is worth two in the bush, isn't it?

  Murphy : And don't cross the road if you can't get out of the kitchen.

• Connor : [picking out weapons and gear]  Do ya know what we need, man? Some rope.

  Murphy : Absolutely. What are ya, insane?

  Connor : No I ain't. Charlie Bronson's always got rope.

  Murphy : What?

  Connor : Yeah. He's got a lot of rope strapped around him in the movies, and they always end up using it.

  Murphy : You've lost it, haven't ya?

  Connor : No, I'm serious.

  Murphy : Me too. That's stupid. Name one thing you gonna need a rope for.

  Connor : You don't fuckin' know what you're gonna need it for. They just always need it.

  Murphy : What's this 'they' shit? This isn't a movie.

  Connor : Oh, right.

  [picks up large knife out of Murphy's bag] 

  Connor : Is that right, Rambo?

  Murphy : All right. Get your stupid fuckin' rope.

  Connor : I'll get my stupid rope. I'll get it. This is a rope right here.

• Rocco : [shouts]  Fuck it! There's so much shit that pisses me off! You guys should recruit, 'cause I'm sick and fucking tired of walking down the street, waiting for one of these crack-piping, ass-wiping, motherless lowlifes to get me!

  Murphy : Hallelujah, Jaffar.

  Rocco : So, like, you're not just talking about mob guys, right? You're talking about pimps and drug dealers and all that shit, right?

  Connor : Oh, yeah.

  Rocco : Fuck. You guys could do this every goddamn day!

  Murphy : We're sorta like 7-Eleven. We're not always doing business, but we're always open.

  Connor : That is nicely put.

• Connor : We haven't really got a system of deciding who, Roc. It's, uh...

  Rocco : Me! *Me*! I'm the guy! I know everyone! Their habits, who they hang out with, who they talk to! I've got phone numbers, addresses! I know who they're fucking! I know where they live! We could kill *everyone.*

  Murphy : So what do you think?

  Connor : I'm strangely comfortable with it.

• Connor : Jeez! It's a fuckin' six-shooter. Fuck!

  Murphy : There's nine bodies, genius.

  Connor : What the fuck were you gonna do, laugh the last three to death, Funny-Man?

• [after dropping through the ceiling on a rope and killing nine mobsters] 

  Connor : Well, "Name one thing you're gonna need this stupid fucking rope for."

  Murphy : That was way easier than I thought.

  Connor : Aye.

  Murphy : You know, on TV you always got that guy that jumps over the sofa.

  Connor : And then you gotta shoot at him for ten fucking minutes, too.

  Murphy : Aye.

  Connor : Christ.

  Murphy : We're good.

  Connor : Yes, we are.

• Connor : Destroy all that which is evil.

  Murphy : So that which is good may flourish.

• Connor : [during job training for an avid feminist]  The rule of thumb here is...

  Rosengurtie : Wait, rule of thumb? In the early 1900s it was legal for men to beat their wives, as long as they used a stick no wider than their thumb.

  Connor : Can't do much damage with that then, can we? Perhaps it should have been a rule of wrist?

• [while interrogating the boys, Smecker is surprised that they are fluent in Russian] 

  Paul Smecker : You speak any other languages?

  Murphy : Aye. Our mother insisted on it.

  Paul Smecker : French?

  Murphy : [in French]  How do you think he figured all this out without talking to us?

  Paul Smecker : Oh, that's beautiful.

  Connor : [in Italian]  I have no idea. Maybe somebody saw and talked.

  Paul Smecker : What's that?

  Connor : [chuckling]  That's Italian.

  Murphy : [in German]  Not in our neighborhood, man. A hundred percent Irish. No one talks to cops. Period.

  Paul Smecker : [not understanding]  Jawohl!

  Connor : [in Spanish]  Then I guess he's just real, real good.

• Rocco : Anybody *you* think is evil?

  Connor : Aye.

  Rocco : Don't you think that's a little weird, a little psycho?

  Connor : D'you know what I think is psycho, Roc? It's decent men with loving families. They go home every day after work and they turn on the news. You know what they see? They see rapists, and murderers and child molesters. They're all getting out of prison.

  Murphy : Mafiosos. Gettin' caught with twenty kilos. Gettin' out on bail the same fuckin' day.

  Connor : And everywhere, everyone thinks the same thing: that someone should just go kill those motherfuckers.

  Murphy : Kill 'em all. Admit it. Even you've thought about it.

  Rocco : You guys should be in every major city. This is some heavy shit. This is, like, Lone Ranger heavy, man.

• Detective Greenly : These guys are miles away by now, but if you wanna beat your head against a wall, then here's what you're looking for: they're scared, like two little bunny rabbits. Anything in a uniform or flashing blue lights is gonna spook 'em, okay? So the only thing we can do is put a potato on a string and drag it through South Boston, "Thanks for coming out!"

  [Murphy and Connor walk into the station and Smecker sees them] 

  Murphy : You'd probably have better luck with a beer.

  Connor : Aye, you would.

  Detective Greenly : Aw, fuck.

  Paul Smecker : Hey, Greenly. Onion bagel, cream cheese.

• Connor : How far are we gonna take this, Da?

  Il Duce : The question is not how far. The question is, do you possess the constitution, the depth of faith, to go as far is as needed?

• [the two brothers are in an airshaft and getting a bit uncomfortable] 

  Murphy : Where the fuck are you going?

  Connor : Shhh. I'm figuring some shit out here.

  Murphy : Ahh, fuck you! I'm sweatin' my ass off draggin' your fuckin' rope around. Must weigh thirty pounds.

  Connor : Shhh. We are doing some serious shit here, now get a fucking hold of yourself!

  Murphy : Oh, *fuck you*! I'm not the rope-totin' Charlie Bronson wannabe that's getting us fucking lost!

  Connor : Would you fucking shut it?

  [taps him on the head with his flash light, and both brothers start fighting in the air vent until it gives way] 

  Connor : You mother- Jesus fucking Christ!

  Murphy : Oh, shit!

  [the vents give way] 

• [after Rocco fondles an unconscious stripper's breast] 

  Connor : What the fuck are you doing?

  Rocco : ...I'll tip her.

• Connor : Okay, Roc...

  [Connor looks at him and laughs; his mask is badly put on] 

  Rocco : What? You guys got masks.

  Murphy : You look like Mush Mouth from Fat Albert.

  [as they keep giggling, Rocco takes his mask off] 

  Rocco : Fine! Fuck it. When we're done, she can ID me. I don't care. Just trying to be professional, but nooooo...

  Connor : It looks fine!

  Rocco : Fuck it.

  Connor : Now shut the fuck up, you look good. Put it on! You look fuckin' scary, man!

  [Rocco puts his mask on, again badly] 

  Connor : [trying not to laugh]  Now Roc, are you sure that you're obee-kay-bee?

• [after discovering sickos in the booths at a strip club] 

  Connor : It's like a scumbag yard sale.

  Murphy : We should come down here once a week and clean house.

• Ivan Checkov : [Checkov has handcuffed Connor to the toilet]  You know why I fucking come here? I come here to kill you. But now, I no think I fucking kill you. I kill your brother. Shoot him in the head.

  Connor : Fuck you!

  Ivan Checkov : Gotta go.

  Connor : Murph!

  Murphy : Connor!

  [to the Russians] 

  Murphy : It was just a fucking bar fight! You guys are fucking pussies!

• Il Duce : [the Saints break into Yakavettas courtroom]  You people have been chosen to reveal our existence to the world! You will witness what happens here today, and you will tell of it later. All eyes to the front.

  Yakavetta : Now's a good time to fucking...

  [gets kicked over by Murphy] 

  Connor : Shut your fucking mouth!

  Il Duce : [walks up to a cowering girl, takes her chin in his hand]  You must watch dear. It'll all be over soon.

• [the brothers discover a briefcase of money with the roomful of Russian mobsters they've just wiped out] 

  Connor : Fuck me!

  Murphy : Oh. The hits just keep on coming!

  [whacks Connor in the face with a wad of cash] 

  Connor : Ow! Give it a smell!

  Murphy : I love our new job.

• [after Rocco shoots three men in a coffee shop] 

  Murphy : Liberating, isn't it?

  Connor : Let's fuckin' go!

  Rocco : You know, it is a bit.

• Connor : Donna's gonna be angry about her cat.

  Rocco : Shit. She's on every drug known to man. She'd have sold the thing for a dime-bag. Screw her.

  [laughs] 

  Rocco : I do kinda feel like an asshole, though.

  Connor : Yeah, Roc, you sound real remorseful there.

• [after Rocco gets his finger shot off] 

  Rocco : Feels like it's still there.

  Connor : Yeah, well it's not.

• Connor : It's the real deal, Roc. Evil men, dead men.