The Boondock Saints (1999)

Bob Marley: Detective Greenly

Photos 

Quotes 

• Detective Greenly : These guys are miles away by now, but if you wanna beat your head against a wall, then here's what you're looking for: they're scared, like two little bunny rabbits. Anything in a uniform or flashing blue lights is gonna spook 'em, okay? So the only thing we can do is put a potato on a string and drag it through South Boston, "Thanks for coming out!"

  [Murphy and Connor walk into the station and Smecker sees them] 

  Murphy : You'd probably have better luck with a beer.

  Connor : Aye, you would.

  Detective Greenly : Aw, fuck.

  Paul Smecker : Hey, Greenly. Onion bagel, cream cheese.

• Paul Smecker : [Agent Smecker walks up to the first crime scene, where Chekov and his partner lay dead]  Brilliant. So now we got a huge guy theory, and a serial crusher theory. Top notch. What's your name?

  Detective Greenly : Detective Greenly. Who the fuck are you?

  Paul Smecker : [opens his coat and shows his FBI credentials]  That's who the fuck I am.

• Paul Smecker : These burns indicate that they used silencers. Look at these entry and exit wounds. They're almost identical. The two bullets went in here, through the top of the skull, criss-crossed, and exited through the eyeballs. This one clue tells us three distinct facts. Number one, Duffy?

  Detective Duffy : They shot him at a downward angle... They put him on his knees?

  Paul Smecker : Excellent! Number two, Greenly?

  Detective Greenly : They... shot him at a downward angle?

  Paul Smecker : It tells us he was the last to die. And number three, Dolly?

  Detective Dolly : Uh... there was two shooters.

  Paul Smecker : Fan-frigging-tastic.

  [the other detectives start to object] 

  Paul Smecker : Stay with me, boys! What did they do to make two such identical wounds. Two men, of similar height, drop this guy down, each puts some iron to his head, and boom, that's all she freakin' wrote.

  Detective Duffy : What about one guy, two guns?

  Paul Smecker : Eh, possible, but unlikely. The angles are too extreme. A guy holding two guns to the back of your noodle is gonna shoot straight ahead. He wouldn't cock out his elbows, it makes no sense. Besides, are you telling me *one guy* came in here and killed eight men with eight extremely well-aimed shots in just a few seconds? No way. Had to be at least two.

• Detective Greenly : What if it was just one guy with six guns?

  Paul Smecker : Why don't you let me do the thinking, huh, genius?

• Detective Greenly : [giving his theory about the two dead Russians in the alley]  This guy takes a blunt object, fuckin', waah! Hits the guy with the bandages around his head, right? Why? 'Cause he's smart. He knows the guy with the bandages around his ass, he ain't goin' nowhere. He's goin' fuckin' nowhere.

  [to dead body] 

  Detective Greenly : Where you goin'? Nowhere!

• Paul Smecker : [walking through the hotel room]  How many bodies, Greenly?

  Detective Greenly : Eight.

  [Smecker gives him a look] 

  Detective Greenly : Ah, shit! I forgot about that one! Nine! Nine?

  Paul Smecker : While Greenly's out gettin' coffee, anybody else want anything?

  Detective Greenly : Shit.

• Detective Greenly : I ain't getting him no fucking bagel.

• Paul Smecker : Why don't you get me a cup of coffee?

  Detective Greenly : Who the hell is this...?

  Paul Smecker : Cafe latte.

  Detective Greenly : What the fuck...?

  Paul Smecker : Twist of lemon.

  Detective Greenly : Chief, what the fuck is this?

  Paul Smecker : Sweet'N Low.

• Detective Greenly : Tooralooraloora!