Urban Legend (1998)
Tara Reid: Sasha
Photos
Quotes
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Sasha : [Crying] Please, I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die...
[Sasha whimpers and the killer swings the axe into her]
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Nerdy Guy : Hey, listen.
[an audible scream in the middle of a song emits from the speaker]
Nerdy Guy : That scream, that's an actual cry for help by a girl being murdered.
Sasha : [feigning interest] You're kidding me!
Nerdy Guy : No! That's why it sounds so real. Because it was lifted off a 9-11 tape.
Sasha : [sarcastically] That's great.
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Sasha : Somebody told me she was listening to my show when it happened. I mean, my voice was probably the last thing she heard, can you imagine?
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Sasha : Let me get this straight. You guys just tried out this new sexual position, and now you're stuck?
College student : I'm not stuck, he is!
College Student : Relax and stop clinching.
College student : I saw this happen to dogs once, it's so embarrassing.
Sasha : Alright, you guys, this is what you're gonna do, okay? Hello? Hello?
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Sasha : Hey, Nat. Look what I found.
Natalie : What?
Sasha : An early edition of Kama Sutra, with illustrations.
[Sasha opens the book, revealing illustrated pictures of people in various sexual positions]
Sasha : Think Parker will get into it?
Natalie : Does he have a choice?
Sasha : No.
[They both giggle]
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Sasha : Wait a second. This is definitely not a myth!
Natalie : What?
Sasha : The gang high-beam initiation. It happens all the time. Gang members drive around with their headlights off, and when someone goes and flashes their high-beams to warm them, they kill them! That's why I never warn anybody about anything when I drive.
[Natalie seems uncomfortable about this topic]
Sasha : Anyways, I've gotta go. I've got some homework.
[Sasha picks up her Kama Sutra book and Natalie laughs]
Natalie : See you later, Sasha.
Sasha : Bye.
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Sasha : You're "Under the Covers" with Sasha on WZAB, the voice of Pendleton University. We're still talking to...?
Jane : Jane. Sophomore. Hi.
Sasha : So, you've been stealing your roommate's birth control pills?
Jane : Borrowing, okay? Look, she's never noticed before because I always replaced them with baby aspirin.
Sasha : With what?
Jane : Baby aspirin. Looks exactly the same. Anyways, now she's pregnant and has to leave school and how the hell I am supposed to find a new roommate so late in the semester?
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Sasha : Felicia, I think the only thing you need pumped is the air out of your head.
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Brenda : [after hearing about the news of Michelle Mancini's death by decapitation] Hey, did anyone here know her? She roomed in Daly.
Brenda : [Natalie seems lost in thought. Brenda snaps her fingers] Hello? Space cadet.
Natalie : Oh, no. I didn't know her.
Damon : Actually, you know, I did know her.
Sasha : You did?
Damon : Yeah, and I'll miss her, too. Girl gave great head.
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Natalie : Wait a second. Isn't there another legend about a guy with an axe in a woman's backseat?
Sasha : Hello? My mom still checks the backseat before getting into her car.
Natalie : That's how Michelle Mancini died.
Brenda : Oh my God.
Sasha : What are you trying to say, Natalie?
Natalie : It's like someone out there is taking all these legends, and making them reality.
Parker : [Sasha and Brenda seem momentarily worried for Natalie, but Parker seizes the moment] Well, my big question is: what is he gonna do next, huh? Maybe put spider eggs in bubblegum? Or maybe ram a gerbil up a celebrity's ass?
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Sasha : First let me just congratulate you on your choice of sexual activity because, sweetie, the world is not ready for you to reproduce. Second, did you know ingestion of bodily-fluids is a major safe-sex no-no?
Felicia : Really?
Sasha : Really. My suggestion is that you down a couple shots of Pepto, and next time get away from the volcano before it erupts.
