The Adventures of Young Indiana Jones: Travels with Father (1996 TV Movie)

Corey Carrier: Henry 'Indiana' Jones, Jr.

Quotes 

• Anna Jones : Your father will deal with you in the morning.

  Indiana Jones : What's he gonna do?

  Anna Jones : Have you shot in the morning. I will provide the blindfold.

• Leo Tolstoy : You reeking little swine, how dare you shoot me in the ass!

  Indiana Jones : I thought you were a giant weazle.

  Leo Tolstoy : Do I look like a giant weazle? Is it my twitching snout? My long, hairless tail? Are all little English boys as stupid as you?

  Indiana Jones : I'm not English, I'm American.

  Leo Tolstoy : That explains it.

• Indiana Jones : You have dogs? So do I. One I mean, her name's Indiana. I haven't seen her in over a year, though. 'Cause we've been traveling so much.

  Leo Tolstoy : You miss her?

  Indiana Jones : Yeah, you bet I do. Can't wait to see her when we get home. Wonder if she'll still remember me.

  Leo Tolstoy : Of course she will. Dogs are better than people.

• Indiana Jones : Hey, they were calling you Tolstoy. I think my father has some of your books. Didn't you write that eh, that really big fat one about war?

  Leo Tolstoy : And peace.

  Indiana Jones : No kiddin'. My father thinks you're great!

  Leo Tolstoy : Your dad's an imbicile.

  Indiana Jones : He's usually not wrong about this stuff. You should ask him.

• Indiana Jones : Father, I don't think that he understand your ancient Greek.

  Prof. Henry Jones, Sr. : Well he should have understood it.

• Indiana Jones : Father, I really doubt if a bus is even gonna come and if it does, there's probably only one a day and, and it's probably already gone!

  Prof. Henry Jones, Sr. : Junior, you are now being cynical.

  Indiana Jones : [beneath his breath]  Yes sir.

  Prof. Henry Jones, Sr. : See, after skepticism comes cynicism.

• Indiana Jones : [Indy and his father are splashing around in a lake]  I didn't even know you could swim.

  Prof. Henry Jones, Sr. : There's a lot you don't know about me, Junior.

  [splashes water at his son] 

  Prof. Henry Jones, Sr. : When I was five years old, I used to go swimming in a loch. Now that was cold!

• Indiana Jones : [Indy and his father are splashing around in a lake]  Father!

  Prof. Henry Jones, Sr. : What?

  Indiana Jones : You know how you said that we should let ourselves be consumed by nature?

  Prof. Henry Jones, Sr. : Yes.

  Indiana Jones : Well, nature is consuming our clothes.

• Indiana Jones : So your name's Aristotle?

  Artistotle : Yes. So my wife said: "Aristotle, she said, if you don't call that donkey Plato, you gonna have no one to talk to."

  [laughs riotously] 

• Artistotle : Hey, are you interested in politics?

  Prof. Henry Jones, Sr. : No not much.

  Artistotle : Ah, then you're an idiot.

  Prof. Henry Jones, Sr. : [brief pause]  Thank you, Aristotle.

  Artistotle : My pleasure.

  [laughs] 

  Prof. Henry Jones, Sr. : No, he's right, Junior. Our word 'idiot' comes from a Greek word which means 'one who is not interested in politics'.

  Indiana Jones : Yeah, I, I'll remember that.

• Indiana Jones : A ladder is made of wood, right?

  Prof. Henry Jones, Sr. : Yes.

  Indiana Jones : This cage is made out of wood.

  Prof. Henry Jones, Sr. : So?

  Indiana Jones : Ergo, our cage is a ladder.

  Prof. Henry Jones, Sr. : That's not what I call Aristotlian logic.

  Indiana Jones : We need a ladder, father. Let's turn our cage into a ladder.

• Indiana Jones : I'm bored.

  Prof. Henry Jones, Sr. : Bored? Bored? We're sitting in one of the most fascinating libraries in this part of the world and you're bored?

  Indiana Jones : It's also the only library.

  Prof. Henry Jones, Sr. : I will not have you bored.

• Indiana Jones : But what causes nature?

  Nikos Kazantzakis : Bravo. That is a question that comes from wisdom and not from logic. You have found the question your father hoped he would find.

  Indiana Jones : I, I did?

  Nikos Kazantzakis : You see, God, the unmoved mover, the prime cause, God dances beyond the bounds of logic.