Ghost World (2001)

Steve Buscemi: Seymour

Photos 

Quotes 

• Enid : I think only stupid people have good relationships.

  Seymour : That's the spirit.

• [Seymour is trying to interest a fellow collector in a record he's selling] 

  Paul, the Fussy Guy - Record Collector : It has a enlarged centre hole and a hair-crack.

  Seymour : But the crack is so tight it's completely inaudible.

  Paul, the Fussy Guy - Record Collector : But a tight hair-crack is just that - a crack. I don't collect cracked records. I only pay premium on mint records. Seymour, you know that. Please.

  [he walks away. Enid, who has been listening, goes up to Seymour] 

  Enid : So what was all that about enlarged holes and tight cracks?

• Seymour : I can't relate to 99% of humanity.

• [Seymour shows Enid his "record room"] 

  Enid : [looking at Seymour's record cabinet]  Are all these records?

  Seymour : I've got about 1500 78's at this point. I've tried to pare down my collection to just the essentials.

  Enid : [looking at all the classic memorabilia in the room]  Look at this room. This is like my dream room! Look at all this stuff... You are, like, the luckiest guy in the world. I would kill to have stuff like this.

  Seymour : Please, go ahead and kill me.

  Enid : Oh, come on, what are you talking about?

  Seymour : Well, you think it's healthy to obsessively collect things? You can't connect with other people, so you fill your life with stuff. I'm just like all the rest of these pathetic collector losers.

  Enid : No, you're not, you're a cool guy, Seymour!

  Seymour : If I'm so cool how come I haven't had a girlfriend in like four years? I can't even remember the last time a girl talked to me.

  Enid : I'm talking to you. You know, I bet there are tons of women who go out with you in a minute. I know I could you a date in, like, two seconds.

  Seymour : Good luck.

  Enid : I mean it. You leave everything to me. I'm gonna be your own personal dating service.

  Seymour : Yeah, well, we should get back.

  Enid : By the end of this summer, you're gonna be up to your neck in pussy.

  Seymour : Jesus!

• Enid : You know what my number one fantasy used to be?

  Seymour : What?

  Enid : I used to think about one day, just not telling anyone, and going off to some random place. And I'd just... disappear. And they'd never see me again. Did you ever think about stuff like that?

  Seymour : I guess I probably did when I was your age.

  Enid : You know what we should do? We should just get in your car right now, and just drive off. Just find some totally new place and start a whole new life. Fuck everybody.

  Seymour : I'm, uh, I'm not in any good condition to drive.

  Enid : I'm serious! I'm just so sick of everybody. Why can't I just do what I want?

  Seymour : What do you want?

  Enid : What do you want?

  [a pause. They look into each other's eyes] 

  Enid : Don't you like me?

• Enid : You know, we need to find a place where you can go to meet women who share your interests.

  Seymour : Well maybe I don't want to meet someone who shares my interests. I hate my interests.

  Enid : Yeah, yeah, just list your five main interests in order of importance.

  Seymour : Uh... I'd have to put traditional jazz, blues and then ragtime at the top of the list...

  Enid : Right, so, let's just say music. That way we only use up one.

• Enid : How come in all that time I was trying to get you a date, you never asked me out?

  Seymour : [surprised]  You're a beautiful young girl, I couldn't imagine you'd have any interest in me except as an amusingly cranky eccentric curiosity.

  Enid : At least you're not like every other stupid guy in the world. All they care about is guitars or sports.

  Seymour : I hate sports.

• [Seymour's phone rings] 

  Enid : Aren't you going to get that?

  Seymour : Let the machine get it. I have no desire to talk to anyone who might be calling me.

• [Seymour can't wait for two mothers and their many kids to cross an intersection] 

  Seymour : What are we, in slow motion here? C'mon, what are you, hypnotized? Have some more kids, why don't you? Jesus Christ, *move it*!

• Enid : [looking at the racist logo of Coon Chicken Inn]  So, I don't really get it... Are you saying that things were better back then, even though there was stuff like this?

  Seymour : I suppose things are better now, but... I don't know, it's complicated. People still hate each other but they just know how to hide it better. Or something.

• Seymour : So, was that your boyfriend?

  Enid : Josh? He's nobody's boyfriend. He's just this guy that Becky and I like to torture.

• Enid : [a busty young blonde woman is walking down the street in their direction]  What about her? Are you into girls with big tits?

  Seymour : Jesus!

• Seymour : Well, I have to admit that things are really starting to look up for me since my life turned to shit.

• [Enid is looking through some posters at Seymour's place and discovers this grotesque, racist caricature of a black man's face - the logo of Coon Chicken Inn] 

  Enid : What the...? What is this, Seymour?

  Seymour : Oh, that. I borrowed that from work about 15 years ago. I guess it's mine now.

  Enid : What, are you a... Klansman or something?

  Seymour : [sarcastically]  Yeah, I'm a Klansman.

• [When asked what kind of women he likes] 

  Seymour : Well, as long as she's not a complete imbecile and she's even remotely attractive.

• Enid : [picking up a swinging metal ornament of a cowboy on a horse]  What is this?

  Seymour : Dana got it when we went shopping for antiques. She said it didn't go with her stuff, so she gave it to me. Said it would go better with my 'old-time thingamajigs'.

  [he sighs] 

  Enid : Jesus, how can you stand her?

• Enid : What is that?

  Seymour : It's, uh - it's just this elastic thing I have to wear sometimes for lumbar support.

  Enid : What, like a girdle?

  Seymour : Maybe now you can understand why I can't get a date.

• Enid : You seem a little stoned. What are you on?

  Seymour : High on life.

• Seymour : That was great music, huh?

  Red-Haired Girl - Blues Club : Yeah. I just love blues.

  Seymour : Actually, technically, um, what he was mostly playing would be more accurately classified in the ragtime idiom. Although, of course, not in the strictest sense of the classical ragtime piano music, uh, like that of Scott Joplin or - Joseph Lamb. Authentic blues has a - has a more conventional 12-bar structure in its stanzas.

  Red-Haired Girl - Blues Club : Oh. If you like authentic blues, you really gotta check out Blueshammer. They're so great.

• Enid : What's her deal anyway? Did she actually tell you that you can't see me anymore?

  Seymour : No. No, I mean, not exactly. I mean, she just, uh, she just doesn't understand how I would know someone like you.

  Enid : What does that mean? Someone like me?

  Seymour : Just someone so young.

• Joe : It's a waste of time trying to logically figure out the female brain, that's for sure. Maybe she got another boyfriend.

  [farts] 

  Seymour : Well... thanks for cheering me up!

• Enid : Yeah, it, um, took me a while before I got a chance to actually play it, but once I heard that song it was like...

  Seymour : You liked it, huh? Yeah. There's some really, uh, rare performances. Ah, what about the - did you like the Memphis Minnie?

  Enid : Yeah, that was good too. The whole record was good. But that one song, "Devil Got My Woman," I mostly just keep playing that over and over. Do you have any other records like that?

  Seymour : There are no other records like that.

• Enid : [walking into Anthony's Adult Store]  Oh, my God. Look at all these creeps!

  Seymour : Hey, hey. Shh. Okay, can we go?

  Enid : [laughs]  This place is a total riot!

• Dana : I am so excited to see this film. Dustoff Varnya is such a brilliant director. Did you see his last film, The Flower that Drank the Moon? It was... glorious.

  Seymour : I must have missed that one. Then again, what do I know? I like Laurel and Hardy movies.

  Dana : Really? I never really cared for those. I mean, why does the fat one always have to be so mean to the skinny one?

• Seymour : I - I didn't think you would have any interest in this get-together. If you would have told me you were coming, I would have warned you. It's not like a real party or anything.

  Enid : Yeah, you're right about that.