- Stephen King: How about that nightlight I asked you for?
- Edgar Allen Poe (to King): King You Pussy!
- Stephen King: Bite me Poe!
- Stu Miley: So how long have you been in here?
- Steven King: 25 Years. I steal the golden ticket and Cujo gets to use it.
- Doctor: [while in a van chasing Organ Donor Stu] Wait! We're doctors! We don't want to hurt you, we just want some organs!
- [last lines]
- Stu Miley: [Buster runs over to Stu, who is near a fountain] Hey buddy! How are ya?
- [chuckles]
- Stu Miley: How are ya?
- [Stu stands up and sees Julie, who is by the fountain]
- Julie: [looks into Stu's eyes] Is it you? Is it really you this time?
- [they kiss and the camera turns to Herb, who is in the water near the fountain]
- Herb: [to the camera] People, for the love of God, take off your clothes. Take *off* your clothes!
- [the scenery turns to cartoon, Herb flies away, a number of people remove their clothing and become monkeys]
- Death: [sitting at the controls of a tower monster] I do like to dress up when I come down town. So, how was she?
- [meaning Julie]
- Stu Miley: [standing on the monster's right hand] She was... she was beautiful. Of course I was decomposing at the time but... at least now she knows how much I love her.
- Monkeybone: [looking nervous] Uh, excuse me, Death... I hate to break up this little love test, but my little bladder is about to burst.
- [Death pulls a lever, and the hand Monkeybone is on swings over Stu]
- Monkeybone: [screams] BUT I'VE *REALLY* GOTTA GO!
- [the hand covers Stu, then rises off him revealing Monkeybone has disappeared]
- Stu Miley: [feeling his head] Where, where's Monkeybone?
- Death: Back in your head where he belongs. I don't wanna hurt your feelings Stu, but on your own you're a tad vinilla, so I didn't want to send you back without him.
- Stu Miley: [surprised] You're wha... did you? You're sending my *back*?
- Death: [sure] Yes. I'm sending you back.
- Stu Miley: Thank you. Death...
- Death: I like you. I'll take the South Park guys instead I hear they're dying to meet me.
- [chuckles]
- Death: Come on Stu. Turn round.
- Stu Miley: [turns around] Like this?
- Death: Yeah, uh-huh.
- [looks up]
- Death: Stu, little higher.
- [Stu steps higher up the palm, and the other hand comes up behind him]
- Death: See ya!
- [the finger springs off the the thumb, sending Stu back]
- Monkeybone: No I wasn't in a coma! Alright I was in a coma but it wasn't like I was IN A COMA and goofing off, I was thinking up hilarious new bits the whole time!
- [Stu goes into a phone booth to call the authorities and report the car crash, unaware that a large red pipe loosened by the crash is starting to tilt over towards the booth]
- Julie: [sees the pipe start to move] Stu!
- [Stu turns around a waves to her, then turns back to the phone as the pipe starts to fall]
- Julie: [screams] STU!
- [Stu waves at her again, and the pipe falls on the booth, putting Stu in a coma]
- Doctor: [racing towards the Ambulance with other doctors carrying the loaner body and Stu's body] Excuse me! That's our corpse. We've been chasing him all over town.
- Ambulance Driver: [sitting in the driver seat] Help yourself pal.
- Doctor: [pulling the cover off the loaner body] All right smart-ass you prepare to co-operate now?
- [Stu sits up, scaring the doctors]