Scary Movie (2000)
Marlon Wayans: Shorty
Photos
Quotes
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Buffy Gilmore : Hey do you think the press is gonna wanna talk to us?
Brenda : Oh please. The press only wanna interview the most ignorant person they find.
Shorty : [Cut to Gail Haistorm interviewing Shorty about Drew Decker's death]
Shorty : I'm on T.V. Oh shit, first "Cops" now this. I'm gonna be a star, son.
Gail Hailstorm : So how close were you to the victim?
Shorty : Oh real close. Right 'til the roofies wore and she woke up. Then she was all talkin' 'bout pressing charges so I just pulled my tongue outta her ass and left.
Gail Hailstorm : If you could have spoken to her before she died what would your last words to her have been?
Shorty : Run bitch, run!
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The Killer : [rapping] I'm gonna slash and gash, cut another hole in your ass. I spill blood on the walls, then play tennis with your balls. If the phone rings, don't answer the call. Gonna slit your throat, fuck you like a goat, peel your foreskin off and make a winter coat. Peace!
[camera pulls back to reveal all of Shorty's friends dead]
Shorty : Yo! That was the illest rhyme I ever seen!
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Brenda : Shorty, why you have to be so loud? And make sure you take your behind to class this time.
Shorty : I do be going to class.
Brenda : Lunch is not a class, Shorty.
Shorty : It is when you got the munchies!
Brenda : You a dumbass.
Shorty : Your Mother.
Brenda : You my Brother, that makes her your Mother too, jackass!
Shorty : Oh, well then your Father's stupid.
Brenda : So? I don't know him.
Shorty : Yeah, me either.
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Shorty : Yo, man. It's like I seen all this shit before.
Cindy Campbell : They had a killer at you high school, Shorty?
Shorty : No, it was in that movie- Scream. Same dialogue everything. That shit is ill!
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Shorty : [answers phone] Yo.
The Killer : Hello, Shorty. What are you doing?
Shorty : Nothin. Just watching the game. Smokin some bud.
The Killer : Are you all alone?
Shorty : [to roommate] Yo, pick up the phone!
Shorty's Roomate : [sticking out tongue] WAZZZZUPPP!
Shorty : WAZZZUP!
[killer looks at phone]
Shorty : Yo, Dookie! Pick up the phone!
Dookie : Yo.
The Killer : WAZZZZUP!
Shorty , The Killer , Shorty's Roomate , Dookie : WAZZZZZUPPP!
[Dookie and roommate hang up]
Shorty : What you doin my son?
The Killer : Nothing. Just chillin. Killin.
Shorty : True.
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Shorty : Theres blood, guts and asses everywhere, someone's gone all crazy, son!
Bobby : We all go a little crazy sometimes.
[Bobby shoots Shorty in the chest]
Cindy Campbell : Bobby, no!
Shorty : [Lying on the ground] Oh, Cindy he got me in the lung.
[Smoke is coming out of the wound]
Shorty : Wanna hit this shit?
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Gail Hailstorm : What can you tell us about the victim?
Shorty : Well, she had a phat ass! It was like BANG!
