- Narrator: Ah yes, Joe Pipkin. Some say that on the day he was born, all the soda pop bottles in the world fizzed over. Pipkin who could yell louder, sing better, and eat more popcorn. Pip, the greatest boy who ever lived.
- Wally: [Pip's a gargoyle and trying to speak] It's gargoyle language, he can only speak when the rain comes out of his mouth, or the wind blows over his teeth.
- Tom: Please sir, trick or treat.
- Mr. Moundshroud: So you've tricked me, is that it? What would a treat be then, hmm?
- Tom: Well, we saw our friend come in here. If you let him go, that would be a treat.
- Mr. Moundshroud: Sweet skulls, sweet skulls, crystal sugar candy skulls. Sweet skulls, sweet skulls. Tell me your name, I'll give you a skull.
- Tom: [reading] Dear Tom and all the gang.
- Wally: Didn't mean to spoil your Halloween, off to the hospital.
- Jenny: Something about appendicitis. Don't worry, I'll catch up. Signed...
- Tom, Wally, Jenny: Pip!
- Tom: Appendicitis?
- Wally: You could die from that, right?
- Tom: P.S., start without me, I'll catch up. Ready. Set. Go?
- Jenny: Notre Dame! I think we've built Notre Dame!
- Wally: But this can't be Notre Dame! Can't you see what's missing? Monster faces!
- Tom: You know, stone devils.
- Ralph: Marble demons!
- Mr. Moundshroud: Gargoyles. Ever wonder why we like dressing up as monsters, beasts and ornery critters?
- Jenny's Mom: [calls down to the basement] Jenny! You're gonna raise the dead with all that racket.
- Jenny: Just looking for another broom, Mom.
- Jenny's Mom: You can always use the new vacuum cleaner!
- Jenny: Ha ha, very funny.
- [ties a broom to her bike]
- Jenny: Wait'll Pip sees this.
- Ralph: Sorry about using up all your gauze, Dad.
- Ralph's Dad: It's okay, Ralph. I just hope nobody needs any first aid tonight, or that you have to go to the bathroom anytime soon.
- Ralph: [sees the clock] Gotta go, can't keep Pip waiting!
- Narrator: It was a small town, by a small river, by a small lake, in a northern part of a Midwest state. There wasn't so much wilderness around that you couldn't see the town. On the other hand there wasn't so much town around that you couldn't see and feel and touch the wilderness. The town was full of fences to walk on and sidewalks to skate on, and the muted cries and laughter of boys and girls full of costume dreams and spirits, preparing for the greatest night of the year. Better than Easter, better than Christmas, Halloween.
- Tom: [arriving at Pip's house] Huh?
- Ralph: Impossible.
- Jenny: It can't be!
- Wally: What?
- [the house is scarcely decorated]
- Jenny: Where're the jack-o-lanterns?
- Ralph: And the corn shucks on the porch?
- Wally: And monsters clinging to the roof!
- Tom: [running around to the back] Something's wrong, awfully wrong!
- [they turn the corner and see Pip being loaded into an ambulance and rushed to the hospital]
- Narrator: The ravine. The ravine was filled with varieties of darkness, night, shadows, toad eyes and raven beaks. The ravine, the birthplace of mushrooms and pale toad stools, whispers and drippings that called 'come, stay, linger and hide, hide here forever, never go, stay, stay'.
- Tom: [sees Pip running down the ravine] It's Pip! PIP!
- Wally: [aghast] Hey, I can see right through him!
- Ralph: Nah, it's just this funny moonlight.
- Tom: The important thing is he's not sick.
- Wally: But what about the hospital?
- Tom: Don't you get it? It was a joke all the time, the ambulance, that note on the door, what a trickster! Hey Pip! You sure had us fooled! Where's your Halloween costume?
- Mr. Moundshroud: Who are you?
- Tom: The name's Tom Skelton, sir.
- Mr. Moundshroud: Know why you're wearing bones, boy? Bah! Didn't think so. And you?
- Ralph: My friends call me...
- Mr. Moundshroud: Why so dressed up in an ancient mummy's rags, huh? Time's up! And you, the big one!
- Wally: Me, sir?
- Mr. Moundshroud: Why a monster's face? And what about you, girl?
- Jenny: Jenny!
- Mr. Moundshroud: Why are you wearing the costume of a witch? No thoughts, aye?
- [moans]
- Mr. Moundshroud: I'm wasting my breath. All dressed up for All Hallow's Eve, but you don't know why, or what, or even from where!
- Tom: And you, sir? Who might you be?
- Mr. Moundshroud: Oh yes, of course.
- [hands Tom his card]
- Mr. Moundshroud: Moundshroud is the name. Carapace Clavicle Moundshroud. Is that but a fine name, children? Does it
- [chuckles]
- Mr. Moundshroud: ring? But I have work to do tonight, no treats, only tricks.
- Narrator: The pumpkins on the tree were not mere pumpkins. Each had a face sliced in it, each face was different. Every nose was a weirder nose, every mouth smiled hideously in some new way. A thousand grimaces and two times a thousand pairs of fresh cut eyes. Each blink held the remnant holiday spirit of years gone by.