Ahem! I had a number of reactions after seeing this film. At first I thought it was a well made, funny, highly interesting documentary. And I also was reminded of Marlon Brando's dying words from Apocalypse Now, "The horror, the horror...".
This is a film about a certainly intriguing subject: swingers. Those who believe in free love, being libertines, getting it on like dogs in heat, etcetera. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with having a healthy attitude towards sexuality. If it feels good, and it's legal, do it.
But did the filmmakers go out of their way to find the oldest, ugliest, most flabby and repulsive bunch of swingers on Earth? If you're gonna make a film about swingers, try and find a few attractive ones. Ones that goto the gym, eat right, read a book once in a while. Some swingers in their twenties, thirties and forties. Not a bunch of people who are so old they've got BOTH feet in the grave! And if I thought the women were ugly in this film, the men were hideous! As Mr. T might have said, "I pity the fool who has to get it on with these swingers!".
The film does not judge these swingers. It just give them plenty of rope to hang themselves. And show their lives to be empty, sad, dreary, and dead, with the exception of these depressing sex parties they attend. This film is the best proponent of family values and monogamy that any hard right conservative could ever hope for. If you have a partner who is thinking of trying some swinging, show them this film and they will put those desires to rest for good.
A word to these swingers in this film: get your arses to the gym! Lay off the bad foods, have a little self-respect! If you are gonna walk around naked that much, try buffing up just a bit. I'm not in the best shape but I felt like I had the body of Brad Pitt compared to these people. There is a closeup on a slab of barbecued meat after one of these so called orgies these swingers have. That slab of meat sums up how these swingers treat each other, like pieces of meat.
And man, they have the most mundane and idiotic conversations! About trivial moronic things like what brand of charcoal burns the best, how to make a great cup of homemade coffee, inane crap like that. There are other things in life to discuss. Like film, news, television, music, books, current events. If you were gonna be on camera wouldn't you want to at least appear to have a faint glimmer of intelligence? Not in these swingers cases.
The cliché about swingers is that they are old, ugly, out of shape, gross, sleazy people. I'll be damned if this film didn't live up to all those stereotypes and then some. Another weird thing about swingers is that statistically more Republicans goto swing clubs than Democrats. How weird is that? What, do they listen to conservative talk radio all day at work and then head off to bang each other's wives and husbands at the Hokey Pokey Swing Club down on Maple street?
In the deleted scenes on the DVD there are two swingers who are frighteningly revolting. A man and woman, over the hill, no, at the bottom of the hill, not just over it, and they are sitting on a couch looking at each other and they do this weird thing where they shiver and shake lasciviously as they look into each other's eyes. You'll have to see the film to know what I mean. When you do you will have seen the two sleaziest people in the history of film. Even the characters in John Waters' Pink Flamingos can't come close to being as tacky as those two.
And this one dude Wild Bill who runs the Panther Palace swing club (they interview him) is so old he's on death's door. Anyway, this guy brags about how well endowed he is because he HANGS WEIGHTS off his genitals. Ya know, with age is supposed to come wisdom. And I understand some people don't ever wanna grown up, but there comes a time when you reach a certain age that you should realize that you're too friggin' old to be dangling weights off your wang danger! Leave that for the forty year olds, 'kay? This poor guy Wild Bill seems very very lonely. He's in his seventies and he's sleeping on a couch in his swing club. I imagine he's having more fun than a lot of people his age, but still sleeping on a rickety old couch when you're a septuagenarian? Get a nice one bedroom condo instead.
But despite all that, this is a good film. Funny and interesting. You can live a happy life never ever seeing this film though. It is an entertaining freak show. Just throw in some cute swingers next time. Dig?
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