Discworld II: Mortality Bytes! (1996 Video Game)

Kate Robbins: Granny Weatherwax, Mrs. Cake, Susan Sto Helit, Raven, Elven Queen, Milkmaid, Suffrajester, Stenkh the Imp, Wandering Shop Keeper, Dwarf, Makeup Girl, Stoning Women, Countess, Black Sheep, Trish Looksgood

Quotes 

• Mrs Cake : I am, too!

  Rincewind : You're not really a psychic!

  Mrs Cake : I will!

  Rincewind : Prove it!

  Mrs Cake : Alright! Ask them!

  Rincewind : I know, answer my questions.

  Mrs Cake : Blue!

  Rincewind : Describe my favourite colour!

  Mrs Cake : A rash!

  Rincewind : Describe what I got for my birthday!

  Mrs Cake : Fat, toothless and covered in sauce!

  Rincewind : Describe my breakfast!

  Mrs Cake : Frilly underwear!

  Rincewind : Nope... I just can't remember what I meant to ask just then.

  Mrs Cake : I do, and you ought to wash your mind with soap and water. Now, why don't you just go off about your business or I'll tell all the nice audience about what you keep in your sock drawer!

• Rincewind : Hello there! And what are we doing in this awful place, eh?

  Susan Sto Helit : What are WE doing here? Well, I'm minding my own business, as for you're doing, some of us would rather not now. Apart from that there doesn't seem to be much going on.

  Rincewind : Look, I was only trying to be friendly.

  Susan Sto Helit : Yes, probably not a good idea seeing as you're wearing that dress. I was always told not to talk to strangers and it'd be hard to be stranger than you.

  Rincewind : Well, excuse me! All I thought was "Hello, here's another mortal in the land of death, then"! I mean, it seemed we might have a few mutual talking points, information to exchange, pleasantries, something in common, that sort of thing.

  Susan Sto Helit : Well, it looks as if we buy our clothes in the same shop.

• Rincewind : So, you're a clickie star now, are you?

  Milkmaid : Yeah, isn't it fun! They said my assets and experience perfectly suited me to the job.

  Rincewind : Experience? You were a bloody milkmaid!

  Milkmaid : So?

  Rincewind : I fail to see what milk production has to do with qualities of screen charisma... Ah. Well, forget I said that.

• Old Woman : Hey there, your Highness! And aren't you a pretty little girl!

  Rincewind : I'm not a little girl, I'm a powerful and dignified magician.

  Old Woman : Why are you dressed up as a princess, then?

  Rincewind : I most certainly am not!

  Old Woman : You've got a tall, pointy hat. All princesses have tall, pointy hats.

  Rincewind : Look, it's not...

  Old Woman : And a dress! A tall, pointy hat and a dress, that's a princess in my book!

  Rincewind : So how do you explain the beard then, eh? Eh?

  Old Woman : I thought that was just probably your peasant blood, dear. A lot of men find a bit of hair sultry and attractive.

  Rincewind : I wish a lot of women did.

• Stenkh the Imp : [singing]  Oh, you say I'm just a smelly little imp and so I say hooray-oh! You say that I'm just a silly little gimp and I say go away-oh! 'Cos I'm smelly over here, I'm smelly over there, I'm smelly, smelly, smelly everywhere! I fill the bath tub plug with hair and then I sing all day-oh! Oh, you say I'm just a silly jelly blimp and I say it's OK-oh! You say a piece of string is limp and I say the word potato! Limp, limp, limp here, limp, limp, limp there and potato peeling everywhere! How long's it take to skin a bear? And I say... um... and I say... all day-oh! Oit!