Saving Silverman (2001)

R. Lee Ermey: Coach

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Quotes 

• Coach Norton : By the way, did you boys take care of that bitch that was gonna marry Silverman?

  Wayne : Uh, yeah. Yeah, we snuffed that broad just like ya said.

  Coach Norton : Good. How'd ya do it?

  Wayne : We, um...

  J.D. : Ate her...

  Coach Norton : You ate her?

  Wayne : Yeah, we ate her.

  J.D. : Alive.

  Coach Norton : My hat goes off to you. You boys are smart; that's the perfect crime.

• Coach Norton : Remember, boys! STAY AWAY from women! All they want from you is your man-juice! If you ever get the kind of urges that cannot be supressed by hard liquor, then use this!

  [shows his right hand] 

• Coach Norton : When are you going to get hitched there, son?

  J.D. : Actually I'm not, I'm GAY.

  Coach Norton : Oh... me too!

• Wayne : So, Coach, how's your parole coming?

  Coach Norton : Not good. The victim's whiny family keeps complaining

  J.D. : God! What is their PROBLEM?

• Coach Norton : [Watches a live feed of Judith locked up in the garage on the TV]  What the hell we got here? Some kind of public access show or something?

  Wayne : [Nervously]  Yeah.

  Coach Norton : Wait a minute, that's the kidnap victim, ain't it? You didn't kill her.

  Wayne : No, coach.

  Coach Norton : I'm real disappointing in you boys. Now I want you to go out there and off that cooze.

  Wayne : We can't, coach.

  Coach Norton : [Notices Judith untying herself from the chair]  FOR PETE'S SAKE! She's getting out! Go chop her head off or something!

  Coach Norton : [J.D. and Wayne don't budge]  There's no fight left in you! You're nutless! You've been pussified! Don't worry about a thing boys I'll take care of that broad.

• Wayne : Coach, we need your advice.

  Coach Norton : Okay, shoot.

  Wayne : Darren fell in love with this girl, Judith. And we kidnapped her.

  Coach Norton : Kill her.

  Wayne : Wait a second, let me finish. So we screwed up, because now she knows who we are. And we can't let her go, or she'll turn us in.

  Coach Norton : Is that it? Is that everything? Hmmm... ..kill her!

• Coach Norton : What is it that I always said?

  J.D. , Wayne : If you can dream it, you can do it.

  Coach Norton : Exactly! You have the dream. All you need to do is turn it into reality.

• Coach Norton : So when are you getting hitched?

  J.D. : Actually, I'm not. I'm gay.

  Coach Norton : Me too.