- Bean Bunny: I'm learning to speak frog.
- Frog: He's so cute.
- Scooter: Well, that's his job. See, the rest of us got sick of being cute, so we hired him to do it.
- Robin the Frog: I think it's great to be going back to the swamp and rediscovering our roots.
- [Janice trips]
- Rowlf: Hey, there's one now.
- Janice: Thanks.
- Rowlf: It goes with the poison ivy.
- Rizzo the Rat: Hey, you know, this ice cream's really good. Now all we need is some root beer.
- Security Guard: Will you stop eating and help me capture the Muppets?
- Rizzo the Rat: Hey, I can't scheme on an empty stomach, but if you want to capture the Muppets, you gotta watch for the weird an unusual.
- [the guard's phone rings]
- Security Guard: [on his phone] Fitzwaller here. World Showcase? A Scandinavian Cook? And a guy with a bucket on his head?
- Rizzo the Rat: Bullseye!
- Dog Catcher: Who's your owner?
- Rowlf: Owner? I have no owner, sir!
- Dog Catcher: Aha!
- Rowlf: But perhaps you can help me. You see, Walt Disney World is such a big place. I don't know what to do with all this incredible freedom.
- [the dog catcher nets Rowlf]
- Rowlf: Now there's a solution I hadn't particularly thought of.
- Security Guard: You're not so dumb for a rat.
- Rizzo the Rat: Hey, I guess we're even now. You're not so smart for a person.
- Young Girl: My mother always told me you should never give up on a dream.
- Kermit: Didn't your mother tell you not to talk to strange frogs?
- Young Girl: There's a song she taught me that has a message for you.
- Kermit: Now you're gonna sing me a song?
- Fozzie Bear: That's what we call a Disney joke.
- Statler: No, that's what we call a dismal joke.
- Fozzie Bear: Oh, please guys, stop trying to make a fool of me!
- Waldorf: You don't need our help for that.
- Fozzie Bear: You think you're so funny?
- Statler: Well, we know you're not so funny.
- Scooter: Doesn't that lady pig look familiar?
- Bean Bunny: Don't all lady pigs look alike?
- Scooter: Oh, yeah.
- Mickey Mouse: Well, you know what we always say: "When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true."
- Kermit: Actually, what we say is: "Someday, you'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers, and you."
- Floyd: Uh-oh. They're starting to argue philosophy.
- Beauregard: Are you sure you really need all this luggage? I mean, you don't have to dress for the alligators, you know.
- Miss Piggy: Alligators? Are we going to see alligators?
- Alligator: Only if you're really really lucky!
- Fozzy Bear: Kermit, you don't understand. You're giving us the choice between Walt Disney World and fried bugs!
- [from an outtake]
- Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: Well, that's one thing Beaker won't have to worry about: He's just used Muppet Labs' new poison ivy cream. Anti-poison ivy cream. It's an anti-cream, not a cream. And it wrecks the joke if you say that.
- [from an outtake]
- Security Guard: I'm speaking to Mr. Mickey Mouse.
- Kermit: Kermit and I are old buddies!
- Fozzy Bear: I didn't know you knew Kermit!
- Rizzo the Rat: I didn't know you knew Kermit either!
- Kermit: [flustered] Well... I didn't say that! I didn't say that! I did not!
- Rizzo the Rat: Kermit...
- Kermit: I didn't!
- Rizzo the Rat: I'm afraid you did.
- [He puts his arm around Kermit]
- Rizzo the Rat: Kermit, come with us. Come with us.
- [from an outtake]
- Scooter: Wow, look at these fountains!
- Bean Bunny: Yeah, they're great!
- [He whirls around to try and hit the water with his paddle, but a spurt of water overshoots it]
- Bean Bunny: I missed. Sorry.
- Scooter: That was a good try.
- [from an outtake]
- Miss Piggy: But tell us, what is this surprise you promised?
- Kermit: Okay, I'll tell you. And you're gonna love this, Piggy.
- Miss Piggy: Well, I can't really love it that much until I get the right LINE!
- [She punches Kermit out of frustration at herself]
- [from an outtake; the Chef offers Bunsen and Beaker different kinds of sauce]
- Swedish Chef: Which would you want?
- [His right hand randomly smacks Beaker, who babbles angrily]