- [to the bad guy]
- Kennedy Smith: I never thought of you as being particularly paternal, except for that time you wanted to be known as the "Father of Chaos".
- Barbara Bush: What is it that makes a man want to work with sperm?
- Dr. Gupp: I always wanted to work with my hands.
- [Kriegman finds Barbara sitting on their bed while they're trying to have a child.]
- Barbara Bush: Honey, the doctor called. Guess what he said.
- [She fires a gun in his general direction.]
- Allan Kriegman: He wants you to shoot me?
- Barbara Bush: No.
- [She fires closer at him.]
- Allan Kriegman: He wants you to kill me?
- Barbara Bush: No.
- [She fires directly at him.]
- Allan Kriegman: I'M SHOOTING BLANKS?