Kissing Jessica Stein (2001)

Scott Cohen: Josh Meyers

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Quotes 

• Josh : You know Stein, why don't you cut yourself a break. It's obviously not the time to be meeting someone anyway.

  Jessica : [sarcastically]  Really? What? Not the season?

  Josh : No. It's just because you're clearly not open to it.

  Jessica : [laughs]  Excuse me? I'm sorry. How would you know?

  Josh : Well, I do have a little history to draw from. But even if I didn't, you've known Charles here for about an hour and in that time you've dismissed a panoply of men based on factors as reductive as a linguistic misstep, a different view from yours on going dutch, a kind reaction to your legendary lateness, and a genuine interest in yoga. You know, I think it was Anais Nin who said, "We don't see things as they are. We see things as we are."

  [chuckles] 

  Josh : Generally I'm not much of a Nin fan, but I do feel that bit sums you up to a "T", Stein. So I don't think the problem's with these poor men, these freaks and morons, as you put it. I think the problem is with you.

• [Josh is confronting Jessica after she made a private phone call] 

  Josh : You a little jumpy today Stein?

  Jessica : No.

  Josh : You got a hot date?

  Jessica : No.

  Josh : Yeah. Who's the guy?

  Jessica : There's no guy.

  Josh : Oh come on, you're a terrible, terrible liar.

  Jessica : Trust me, there's no guy.

• Josh : [after confessing his feelings to Jessica, he kisses her]  So I guess I'd like to know if you have some sort of reaction to this. More specifically, do you want to have dinner with me tomorrow night?

  [she doesn't respond at first, and Josh adopts a look of defeat and embarrassment] 

  Josh : Well, if you'll excuse me, I definitely need another drink.

  Jessica : [she stops him]  No, wait. I'd love to have dinner with you, but I can't.

  Josh : What? Not the season?

  Jessica : [laughs nervously]  No. I mean I cant have dinner with you because I'm with Helen.

  Josh : Oh, you're having dinner with Helen?

  Jessica : No. I mean I'm *with* Helen.

  Josh : [he looks at her in disbelief]  Like *with* with Helen?

  Jessica : Right *with* with.

  Helen : [Helen enters from the stairwell]  Jessica, they're starting to serve dinner.

  [Jessica exits] 

  Helen : Hey, Josh.

  Josh : [still can't believe what he's just heard]  Helen...

  [beat] 

  Josh : how are you?

  Helen : [smiles]  I'm good thanks.

  [she exits]