Mission: Improbable (2000 TV Short)

Ben Stiller: Tom Crooze

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  [Footage from "Mission: Impossible II" shows Tom Cruise as Ethan Hunt engaged in some daredevil rock-climbing. The footage cuts to Tom Crooze, the stunt double, holding on desperately to the rock wall] 

  Tom Crooze : In order to do my job, I have to ask myself: Who is Tom Cruise? What is Tom Cruise? Why is Tom Cruise? When is Tom Cruise?

  [Cut to Tom Crooze in a chair on a film sound stage, apparently speaking to an interviewer] 

  Tom Crooze : I think that, in order to become a really good stunt double, you have to become really one with the actor. You have to walk like the actor, talk like the actor, legally change your name to sound like the actor's. I don't think of myself as a stunt double, really. It's more like I'm a stunt one-ble.

• [Tom Crooze is preparing for a scene with fight trainer David Lea, who demonstrates a remarkable whirl and kick. The screen caption reads: Mission Impossible II, pre-production, June 1999] 

  Tom Crooze : I don't think Tom's going to want to do that kick. All right? That's not the way he moves. He doesn't pivot that way. He likes to lunge left. He doesn't usually scoop under right. I think it's a bad idea. He's never going to go for it. It's not realistic. It's not a Tom Cruise kick.

  Fight trainer : Tom said he wanted to go with a kick.

  Tom Crooze : Uh, I've done fourteen films with Tom. All right? So I think I have a pretty good idea of what Tom does or doesn't want...

  [Tom Cruise joins them and shakes Lea's hand] 

  Tom Cruise : How's that kick coming along?

  Fight trainer : He doesn't think you'd go with a kick.

  Tom Crooze : WHAT? That's...

  [Crooze tries to laugh off his embarrassment]