"It's like Oliver Twist meets Captain Bligh in a.spaghetti western," The Scotsman quotes Todd Carty. - "doing his darndest to dim your enthusiasm.for this period adventure set in South Africa."
Starring Nick Berry, shown on Christmas Eve 1997 and billed as a "blockbuster", this was carefully aimed at an audience that didn't think too much. Nick Berry's audience exactly.
If Black Velvet Band had been made as a serialised adventure series for children in the 1960s or 1970s it might now be very fondly remembered.
As it was, reviews for this featherlight affair were scathing from a media that had seen rather more of Mr Berry than it cared for by 1997.
"It was all too preposterous for words," said.the Mirror's Tony Purnell.
And I can't add to that.