Chance (2002)
Amber Benson: Chance
Photos
Quotes
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Chance : Where'd you meet her Simon?
Simon : Okay, okay! On the phone! Okay, are you happy now, huh? Huh?
Chance : You met her at work? You've gotta be fucking kidding me! She could be some kind of serial rapist or something.
Simon : Serial rapist? Ha ha ha! You're just jealous 'cause I might get lucky tonight.
Chance : Not on my couch, you're not!
Simon : It's my couch!
Chance : You may sleep on it, but I don't see you paying any rent, brother!
Simon : I hate it when you call me that! I am not your brother, thank God!
Chance : It's a figure of speech, Simon. You know, like we are all God's children.
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[Chance is talking to the camera]
Chance : Milton has been a pain in my ass for the past six months. Every time I walk outside my door, he's standing there drooling! I mean, maybe someone would find shit like that flattering; but me? It just pisses me off royally! I should be able to walk outside my door without the drooler taking notes! It's a free fucking country, right?
Milton : [to Chance] Why are you talking to yourself?
Chance : Mind your own damn business!
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Chance : [to camera] Hold on just one little minute there, buddy. Why does the guy just assume that every post-coital argument is like, the utter, absolute end of that particular relationship? I mean, Jesus, it's not like men are not surrounded by women their entire lives - that they haven't realized that behind every angry outburst is a sobbing, insecure woman who just... wants to be told that she kicks more ass than any girl he's ever met.
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[first lines]
Chance : [voiceover] All right, you live your life in a totally normal, full on reality check kind of way. That's good and cool. Things don't get messed up. People you love hang around until you can't stand them anymore. Things never change. But shit like that doesn't happen in real life. Real life is just a movie with someone's finger jammed on fast forward. The numbers change faster than you can count. When you're a little kid, you never think you're gonna die. I mean death is just some kind of esoteric thing you see on TV or read about it in a book. Then one day you realize what it really is, and nothing is ever the same again. From that day on, you're fucked.
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Chance : [voiceover] I'm not all that into girls, to tell you the truth. If I want a little pussy, I've got my own to play with. But I was in the experimental phase in my 20s, and ecstasy is a strong sexual motivator.
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Chance : [voiceover] It's never how it seems in the movies. I think something inside of you immediately realizes that a person is dead and you can't help but be shocked. I think people cry when someone dies because deep down inside they're glad that it wasn't them. I know because in the end, the only person you care about is yourself. You can't get into someone else's head, you can't get into their soul, they mean nothing to you. You blink... and they're gone.
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Chance : Rory, you can't just manhandle me into your fucking car and expect me to jump your bones or something. I mean, it's light out for one thing and there are kids who live in my building, for God's sake. What if they came out to play baseball and saw your hairy ass pressed up against the windshield?
Rory : I don't want to have sex with you.
Chance : Wait. What did you say? Oh, now I'm not good enough for you or something?
Rory : No, I just want to...
Chance : What are you saying, Rory? Spit it out.
Rory : Can't we just talk like before?
Chance : Before?
[flashback sequence shows Rory constantly talking, oblivious to Chance's bored face]
Chance : Before? You mean, before I got so fucking bored of your talk that I fell asleep and you still kept talking?
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[Simon, play-acting as Chance in wearing a dress and makeup greets Chance's mother, Desiree at the front door]
Simon : [high-pitched voice] Mother! It's so wonderful to see you!
Desiree : [amused] Hello Simon.
Simon : Simon? Don't you recognize your own daughter?
Desiree : No, you're Simon. I can tell by your aura. Yours is white, Chance's is turquoise...
Simon : But I'm Chance! It's me, mother!
[Chance comes out of the bedroom wearing Simon's pants and shirt. She's drawn a little beard and moustache on her lower face with an eyeliner pen]
Chance : Hello. I must sleep.
[Chance goes right for the couch and lays down]
Simon : Mother, why don't you come inside and I'll fix you a nice glass of iced tea.
Desiree : But you're Simon...
[beat, deciding to play along]
Desiree : Alright... Chance, sweetheart, love of my loins, yes, let's sit and drink the fruit of the Earth together. We shall give thanks for the bounty the mother goddess has seen fit to provide us with.
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Desiree : Chance was conceived on a gondola ride in Venice.
Simon : You seem to have luck with conceiving while in transit.
Desiree : I suppose.
Simon : I didn't think you could have sex while you were driving.
Desiree : Oh, it's a lot of fun. Especially when you're on police watch.
Chance : You did it backwards?
Desiree : Of course. That way I could watch the road as I steered.
Simon : I bet you have to push the chair way back.
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Guy : Have you ever really thought about why moths are so attracted to light? I mean, have you ever given the thought ten minutes of real concentration? I bet if you took the time to really think things through, gave every action careful thought and planning, the world would be such and easier place to live in.
Chance : Probably.
Guy : Not probably. Definitely.
Chance : Alright. Definitely. You take things so seriously.
Guy : That's 'cause life is serious.
Chance : I agree. But still, not everything has to be so intense.
Chance : [voiceover] Guy did take things a little seriously, but still he was an amazing kisser and he smelled good. And that definitely counts for something.
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Orderly : Look, from experience I can tell you that no one is gonna solve your problems for you. You have to deal with your own demons. They're in your head, not anyone elses.
Chance : I like my demons. I consider them close personal friends. We enjoy each other's company immensely.
Orderly : You're an interesting girl. I think you'll like your new roommate.
Chance : Roommate? Nobody said anything about me having to share a room with another disgustingly, slobbering, human being.
Orderly : That they way live goes, Chase.
Chance : Stop! My name is Chance. And if you don't want me to go Hannibal Lector on you, I strongly suggest you quit calling me Chase.
Orderly : [taunting] Yeah, whatever... Chase. You watch too much TV.
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Chance : You're getting a divorce? But why? You guys are so perfectly psychotic together!
Desiree : Chance, your father has fallen out of the nest of our love and into the waiting arms of a young, ex-bomb vulture.
Chance : Dad met another woman?
Desiree : [nods] She's 18...
Chance : Eighteen? She's younger than me! She was like conceived in the eighties! Jesus, Mother...
Desiree : That's why I left. I couldn't stand to see them together...
Chance : She's living in the house?
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Chance : [narrating to camera] Actually, my dad bought this boat as a wedding present for my mother. They were going to sail to Australia together, but he could never figure out a way to get it out of the freaking harbor.
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[after Chance and Simon have had sex for the first time]
Chance : Did you ever think about sleeping with me before?
Simon : Yeah.
Chance : You did? When?
Simon : I don't know. It wasn't a conscious sort of thing.
Chance : What? You'd never look at me and say, "I want to fuck her"?
Simon : I don't think like that. I would never think "fuck" in my head. I would think to make love.
Chance : [chuckles] Make love?
Simon : I don't fuck everything I come into contact with... like you. I have some sense of propriety.
Chance : [suddenly angry] Propriety my ass! You just get so fucking scared of being rejected that you tell all people to fuck off first.
Simon : You don't know me at all, Chance.
Chance : [scoffs] Yeah, I think I know you a hell of a lot better than you know Simon, since you've been fucking living on my couch for the past year.
Simon : When I like a woman, I don't just fuck her. I wanna make love to her. I want there to be some kind of spiritual connection.
Chance : Well congratulations, Simon. You just had your first fuck!
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Chance : [narrating to the camera] Why do men have to be such assholes? I mean... we were both freaked out and we just went a little too far. It's not a bad thing that I just fucked my best friend. Did I just say that Simon was my best friend? Geez, I never thought like that before. There's some unspoken rule that you're not supposed to sleep with your best friend, right? Shit!
