The Butterfly Effect (2004)

Ashton Kutcher: Evan

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Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  [reading aloud as he writes a note] 

  Evan : If anyone finds this, it means my plan didn't work and I'm already dead. But if I can somehow go back to the beginning of all of this, I might be able to save her.

• Evan : I just thought that you should know.

  Kayleigh Miller : Know what?

  Evan : That you were happy once... with me.

  Kayleigh Miller : You know there's one major hole in your story, there is no fucking way on this planet, nor any other I would ever be in some fucking sorority.

  Evan : [Whispering]  You were happy there...

• Evan : Where's Kayleigh?

  Lenny : Who's Kayleigh?

  [Evan looks confused] 

  Lenny : You want me to take you to the doctor?

  Evan : No, I think everything's gonna be all right this time.

• Evan : When we were kids, your dad was making a movie about "Robin Hood" or something...

  Kayleigh Miller : What do you want to know, Evan?

  Evan : Is... Did he... What happened in the basement?

  Kayleigh Miller : Look, it was a long time ago. Is that why you came all the way back here? To ask a lot of stupid questions about "Robin Hood"?

  Evan : No, I... I just think something really bad might've happened.

  Kayleigh Miller : Is there a point to any of this?

  Evan : Look... whatever happened, it wasn't our fault, we were kids. I mean, there is nothing that we could do to have deserved or could've done...

  Kayleigh Miller : Just shut up, Evan, you're wasting your breath.

  Evan : You can't hate yourself because your dad's a twisted freak.

  Kayleigh Miller : Who are you trying to convince, Evan? You come all the way back here to stir up my shit just because you have a bad memory? What? Do you want me to just cry on your shoulder and tell you everything's all better now? Well fuck you, Evan. Nothing's all better, okay? Nothing ever gets better. You know, if I was so wonderful Evan, why didn't you call me? Why did you just leave me here to rot?

• [after handless Evan has just tried to commit suicide by drowning himself in the bathtub] 

  Tommy : You forgot to put the toaster on the ledge.

  Evan : Lenny likes Poptarts. You guys are all the better now.

  Tommy : I know it's hard but you can't give up.

  Evan : I can't even fucking kill myself.

  Tommy : Don't talk like that.

• Evan : [to Kayleigh]  I lost you once and I'm not losing you again.

• [In his second college-age timeline, Evan realizes that he has to be unkind to the fraternity pledges, because other fraternity members are watching them] 

  Evan : Give me the Greek alphabet. Give it to me! "Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh?" Alpha, beta, gamma, delta, epsilon, zeta, eta, theta, iota, kappa, lambda, mu, nu, xi, omicron, pi, rho, sigma, tau, upsilon, phi, chi, psi, omega, Sir! Maybe that's what it is!

• Thumper : Maybe there's a reason you repressed the day some pervert had you in your tighty-whities.

  [glances at Evan's journals] 

  Thumper : I'd think twice about what you're doing. You could wake up a lot more fucked up than you are now.

  Evan : More fucked up than I already am? You think you know me? *I* don't know me!

• [Evan visits Kayleigh, who has now become a prostitute] 

  Kayleigh : So, how's tricks? Sorry, occupational humor.

  Evan : I got it.

• [upon discovering his armlessness] 

  Evan : What the fuck is this?

• Evan : Yeah, you remember me? We had a nice chat once when I was seven...

• [last lines] 

  [theatrical version] 

  Evan : I'm just running a little late. Yeah, I had to finish up with the patients. Well, get the soup or something. All right. Love you, mom. Bye-bye.

• Evan : Jesus speaks to me in my dreams.

• Evan : Hey Thumper, you got the time?

  Thumper : Whatsa matter, you lost your Rolex? Fuck you frat-boy!

• [in the reality where Kayleigh is with Lenny] 

  Evan : So, do you think it might have worked?

  Kayleigh : Yeah... But that's not how things wound up... I'm with Lenny, Lenny is your friend... and that's where it ends.

  Evan : Well... Would it make a difference if I told you that no one could possibly ever love anyone as much as I love you?

  [Kayleigh looks sympathetic about Evan's feelings] 

  Evan : ...I'm not saying that, I am just saying it like if you were a girl, would that be something you would want to hear?

• Evan : Are you walking home? Can I walk you?

• Evan : You're the girl that was with those assholes throwing popcorn at Thumper... and your name is Gwen... I know you.

  Gwen : Seriously Evan, lay off the blow.

• [to the neo-Nazi inmates] 

  Evan : So, should I suck your dick now?

• Kayleigh Miller : Where'd you learn those new tricks?

  Evan : What? It... it wasn't... weird... was it?

  Kayleigh Miller : Yeah, if you call multiple orgasms weird!

• [In college, Evan turns in his psychology exam] 

  Professor Carter : So, how'd you do, Evan?

  Evan : I don't know. I might have got some of the stories mixed up. Was it Pavlov that conditioned his dog to lick his nuts?

  Professor Carter : [chuckles]  You're a double psych major and a complete wise-ass.

• Evan : Shit, no arms.

• Evan : [Repeated insult]  Fuck Bag.