Man of the House (I) (2005)
Monica Keena: Evie
Photos
Quotes
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Teresa : [Sharp has a pizza delivered at dinner, while the girls all have homemade salads] What is that?
Roland Sharp : The Carnivore. Pepperoni, sausage, ground beef, ham and olive loaf all gathered together in one savory pie. With jalepenos. Want some?
Heather : Yes. No!
Roland Sharp : Extra thick crust.
Anne : I can't, I'm on the zone.
Roland Sharp : What zone?
Anne : The proper combination of protein, fat and carbohydrates.
Roland Sharp : This combination here is proper as hell.
Barb : I'm a total Atkins girl.
Evie : I'm on Weight Watchers, you'll probably blow all your daily points with just one bite.
Roland Sharp : This baby has one point and one point only, and that is tasting good.
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Roland Sharp : I cannot hear myself think!
[turns off music]
Evie : Okay, as we involuntarily enter into this enforced period of silence, can I ask if there's any medication you forgot to take... or some I might recommend you should try?
Barb : Yes, like take a...
All Girls : CHILL PILL!
Roland Sharp : I only need one witness!
Barb : Get. Out!
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Teresa : I'll tell you something about this daughter of yours that you know nothing about, she must be severely messed up in the head from living with you.
Roland Sharp : She lives with her mother.
Evie : Why did your marriage fall apart?
Roland Sharp : That is one of many things you and I will never discuss.
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Barb : [off Roland's upset look and stops chewing her gum all of a sudden] Oh, do you want a piece?
Roland Sharp : No, I do not.
Barb : What, you don't like gum?
Roland Sharp : No. Chewing gum is the most significant factor in the decline of Western civilization.
Evie : The decline of what?
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Anne : Look, you guys, we've got a game on Saturday...
Evie : Yeah!
Anne : ...and don't even think about telling us we're not going!
Roland Sharp : You're not going!
Heather : [urgent whisper] Tell him, Anne.
Anne : As captain of the squad, it is my duty to inform you that if you wanna stop us from cheerleading,
[folds arms]
Anne : you're gonna have to pry the pom-poms from our cold dead hands.