Teacher's Pet (2004)

Nathan Lane: Spot, Scott

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Spot/Scott : What is it with this family and singing? I'm starting to feel a little VonTrapped.

• Spot/Scott : Time sure flies when you're changing species.

• [Scott unties Leonard] 

  Leonard : Quick! We've got to get out after it blows!

  Spot/Scott : You go. There's one more thing I've got to do.

  [He stands in front of the machine] 

  Spot/Scott : It's my only chance.

  Leonard : Scott, what are you doing?

  [a beam shoots out of the machine and hits Scott, who convulses in mid air. The room seems to warp. A shockwave blows Leonard backwards. Electricity crackles. A gauge spins wildly and breaks. Leonard shields himself as the machine explodes. Smoke fills the room. Leonard fans it away] 

  Leonard : Scott! Scott!

  [He sees a pile of blue dust on the floor. It appears that Scott is dead. Leonard starts crying. He kneels on the ground and runs the dust through his fingers] 

  Leonard : Oh, Scott.

  [His grief turns to anger] 

  Leonard : Stupid Machine! Stupid, stupid science!

  [He kicks the machine, which breaks. Another beam hits the pile of dust. The dust glows and spirals into a double helix, then a whirlwind. Spot is revived and falls to the floor] 

• Spot/Scott : You're wrong, Dr. Krank. I am a dog who wants to be a worthless boy. I mean, who wants to be a boy.

• Spot/Scott : So, whassup?

  Leonard : So, whassup?

• Spot/Scott : Oh, we gotta start renting you some more classic animated movies.

• Spot/Scott : Lost Dog Reward 100 Dollars, That'll do.

  Leonard : Lost Dog Reward 100 Dollars, That'll do.

• Spot/Scott : Really? I thought it was kind of edgy.

• Spot/Scott : Oh, isn't there, Dr. Wacko?

• Spot/Scott : Don't worry. Happens all the time. Now, here's your problem as I see it, doc. While your theories are scientifically sound... and your equipment technically flawless... you keep hitting a failure point... when it comes to the selection of your subjects. See, you've been experimenting on swamp creatures... insects, and, uh, reptiles.

  Dennis : And all-ee-gators!

  Spot/Scott : All-ee-gators are reptiles.

  Dennis : Proceed.

• Spot/Scott : Florida. A land of surprises.

• Spot/Scott : Leonard, wake up and smell the kibble!

• Spot/Scott : [as Grandma Leadready]  Young lady, I missed my chance to go to Florida when I was the boy's age. And look at what a bitter old woman it turned me into!

  Mrs. Helperman : Oh, you must be Scott's gran...

  Spot/Scott : [as Grandma Leadready]  I CAN'T TALK TO YOU I'M TOO BITTER!

• Mrs. Helperman : [to Leonard]  Did you just say "Spot"?

  Spot/Scott : [emerging in his Scott clothes]  No, Mrs. Helperman, he said "Scott".

• Spot/Scott : I wanna be a boy.

• TV Actress : John.

  TV Actor : Marsha.

  TV Actress : John.

  TV Actor : Marsha.

  Spot/Scott : Yawn. Mush-a.

• Spot/Scott : I had to come. I had to be with you. And I needed a ride to Florida for my own self-serving reasons, but why spoil a beautiful moment.

• [Upon receiving an attendance medal] 

  Spot/Scott : Thank you, Mrs. Helperman. This is just the thing to go with my Science medal, my Math medal, and my Sports medal. Not to mention my medal for self-esteem.

• Spot/Scott : Hey I'll do the clichéd Irish dialogue around here.

• Spot/Scott : Florida!

• Spot/Scott : OW! you're hurting me dear blue fairy.

  Pretty Boy : I ain't no fairy and it's time to get up.

• Spot/Scott : Boy, talk about your lucky puppet. I'd give anything if only I could become a real live boy like that Pinocchio.

• Spot/Scott : BOY!

• Spot/Scott : Jeez, he looked a lot shorter on TV. Maybe it's the ax.

• Spot/Scott : I wish I had a nickel for every time I've heard that.

• Spot/Scott : I'm sorry. Was that out loud?

• Spot/Scott : Say auf wiedersehen... Wacko!

• Spot/Scott : We're rich! We're rich!

  Leonard : We're rich! We're rich!

• Spot/Scott : I'm a really big boy.

• Mrs. Helperman : After all the trouble Mr. Manly-Manning has gone to, the least we can do is invite him in for a cup of coffee.

  Leonard : Coffee?

  Spot/Scott : I always wanted to try coffee.

  [Moments later, Scott has tried coffee and is completely hyped up] 

  Spot/Scott : Boy, it's true what they say! What a beverage! Who'd believe that little brown bean from Brazil could pack such mellow, rich-roasting, good-to-the-last-drop flavor? By the way, were you aware that our 26th President, Theodore "Teddy" Roosevelt who originally coined the phrase "Good to the last drop"? Little known fact but true.

• Spot/Scott : [as Mrs. Leadready]  Why, Mary Lou Helperman! Hello and halleloo! If you weren't just sent from Heaven above to take our dear little Scott to Flor...

  Mrs. Helperman : I'm sorry to interrupt, Mrs. Leadready, but do you wanna hear the funniest thing? I brought that exact same dress on this trip!

  Spot/Scott : Oh, that is funny! You are a stitch! Anyway, back to poor Scott. He so desperately wants to go to Florid...

  Mrs. Helperman : And I believe I packed that same shade of lipstick, too!

  Spot/Scott : Really? What a coinkidink! Anyway, as I was saying...

  Mrs. Helperman : And those earrings look awfully familiar!

  Spot/Scott : ARE YOU GONNA TAKE HIM OR NOT?... Darlin'.

• Spot/Scott : So this is what it's like to be human, huh?

  [He sits on the bed, and then lies back] 

  Spot/Scott : Sittin' alone in a dump on your tailless butt, just twiddlin' your opposable thumbs. Top of the world, ma!

  [He sighs, then sobs, then curls up into a little ball on the bed] 

  Spot/Scott : Top of the world.